Matters Of The Heart
by blackForestGirl
Summary: When Earl Arthur Pendragon awakes to find a gorgeous man berating him, he knows he's in trouble. He cannot recall the past three months of his life, never mind having a husband! Merlin Emrys is trapped in a marriage of convenience with a man who doesn't remember him. Can they find trust and love before it's too late? (Alternate Universe)
1. Chapter 1

**The Great Dragon Estate, Ealdor**

A strong but surprisingly smooth hand stroked over his forehead. Arthur Pendragon fought against the darkness that clouded his mind. Pain lashed his skull, ripping through him in violent waves. His mouth felt dry and his bones and muscles ached.

"Drink" a man said, lifting a glass of water to Arthur's mouth. It's cold, but he swallowed.

"You're awake, that's good."

Good? How could it be good feeling as someone had cracked his skull in two. Arthur hadn't even the strength to open his eyes to see who was nursing him.

"And you're very lucky, you know."

"How am I lucky?" Arthur managed to whisper.

"You're lucky I haven't any poison for this water," the man remarked. "Otherwise, you'd be dead by now."

A warm cloth, scented with herbs, dropped across Arthur's forehead.

He inhaled sharply. "What the hell?"

Arthur's knuckles clenched around the bedcovers, and he forced his eyes open. His vision blurred, and he tried to grasp his surroundings. Where was he? And more important - who was this man?

The man intending to murder him came into his view. Raven black hair framed a thin face with tired looking blue eyes, full lips and sharp cheekbones. Despite his sticky-out-ears, he was rather pretty.

He was familiar, but the man's name hovered on the outskirts of memory. Maybe someone he'd known some time ago.

"You broke your promise. If it weren't for you, my brother would still be alive." the man whispered sadly.

The man blamed him for his brother's death? There had to be a mistake. He didn't even know who _this man_ was, much less his brother.

Arthur pulled off the cloth on his forehead and glared at the man.

"Who are you?"

The man sighed. "You don't remember me?" The question held a sardonic disbelief. "And I thought this day could not get worse."

Arthur had little patience for the man's frustration. Damn, he was the one who'd been wounded. And what the hell had happened to him?

"You didn't answer my question," Arthur responded. "What's your name?"

"My name is Merlin." he answered.

Leaning in, Merlin's gaze focusing on the man in front of him, almost waiting for the other to say something.

Hazy bits from the past shifted together in Arthur's mind. Merlin Emrys, Baron Balinor's son. Oh God's! He hadn't seen him in nearly eight years. Arthur stared at the man, unable to believe it was true. He remembered him throwing rocks at his carriage, and climbing trees to spy on him, bickering with him. And almost kissing him when he'd been an awkward, adolescent boy.

Arthur shook the thought away, but thankful at least some of his memories remained.

"What are you doing here?"

"Well...I live here." With a mischievous glint in his eyes he added, "Don't you remember your husband?"

The revelation stunned Arthur into silence. His husband? What was he talking about? He wasn't married.

"You're joking."

Arthur was a man planning every detail of his life, getting married to a man he hadn't seen in years wasn't at all something he would do.

"I would never joke about something like this."

Merlin held out the glass with water, but Arthur dismissed it this time. He had no intention of drinking anything the man offered him. Arthur's vision swam, and a rushing sound filled his ears. Closing his eyes, he waited for the dizziness to pass.

When the world was back in focus, Arthur studied the room. Heavy red curtains with a golden dragon crest hung across the canopied bed. Some pieces of remembrance snapped together as he recognised his private room within The Great Dragon Estate.

"How long have I been here?"

"Two days."

"And before that?"

Merlin shrugged. "You left for Camelot a week after our wedding. I haven't seen you since March. Why don't you tell me where you've been?"

Arthur tried to reach for the memory, but nothing remained, not even a smallest fragment of a vision. It frustrated the hell out of him, having pieces of his life gone.

"What day is it?"

"The twenty sixth of June."

Arthur clenched the bedcovers. Almost three month of his life were entirely gone. He closed his eyes, trying to force himself to remember. But the harder he tried, the worse his head ached.

"Where have you been?" Merlin asked.

There was a worry in his tone, though Arthur find it hard to believe the man cared. Not after he'd threatened to poison him.

"I don't know," Arthur answered honestly. "But I certainly don't remember getting married."

"You might not remember it but damn, it's true."

Something was wrong, something the man wasn't telling him. There was a desperate air about him, as though he had nowhere else to go. Likely he'd caught the man in the lie.

"You're welcome to leave, " Arthur suggested. "Obviously my return offended you."

Softly Merlin replied, "You have no idea what I've been through. I thought I'd never see you again."

Merlin dipped the cool cloth back into the basin, wringing out the water. Then he set it upon Arthur's forehead again, Merlin's hand grazing Arthur's cheek. This gesture was completely at odds to the man's behaviour.

"You're not my husband."

Merlin crossed his arms over his chest, drawing Arthur's gaze toward his silhouette. The slender form of his neck caught Arthur's eye. The first three buttons of his tunic had come loose, revealing a forbidden glimpse of Merlin's toned chest to him.

"Of course I am." Merlin lowered his arms, gathering his courage as he stared at Arthur.

Had he really married Merlin? Had he unbuttoned Merlin's tunic, and tasted his smooth, pale skin…? From the way the man drew back, Arthur didn't think so.

"I want to see a doctor," Arthur said, trying to change the subject.

"The doctor examined you last night. I'm the one to change your bandages and keep the wound clean. He'll return not for tomorrow evening."

Despite Merlin's bitterness, there was a look on his face that didn't quite match his spoken words. Arthur caught a glimpse of something more...something lost and lonely.

He forced himself not to pity the man. For God's sakes, the man had threatened to kill him.

"Why did I marry you?"

Merlin picked up the basin. "You should rest for a while. I'll answer your questions. Later, that is."

"We talk about it, now! Sit down."

Merlin ignored him and moved towards the door to leaving Arthur's room. Arthur might as well have been ordering a brick wall to sit.

If the unthinkable had happened, if he really had gone off and married the man, one thing was certain. He had lost more than his memory. He'd lost his mind.


	2. Chapter 2

After closing the door to Arthur's room behind him, Merlin fled to his own and set the basin down with trembling hands.

So, Earl Arthur Pendragon was back. And of course the bastard didn't remember a single moment of their marriage. Damn him.

It was like having him back from the dead. He'd been away for so long, Merlin had almost started to believe that he _was_ dead, even though there was no evidence of that.

Merlin had tried so hard to forget him. Every single day of the past months, he'd reminded himself that he'd meant nothing to his husband. Merlin's hands clenched, and he swept into his palms.

Only a week after their wedding, Arthur had returned to Camelot. He'd gone into the arms of his lover, cheating on him. While Merlin, the naive little husband, tucked away at the country estate where he wasn't suppose to learn about his husband's indiscretions. It made Merlin sick, just thinking about it.

Oh what a fool he had been!

He'd been swept away by Arthur's charm. His fairy tale had come true, with the handsome Earl offering to marry him. But it had been a dream, hadn't it?

Arthur had used him, wedding him for reasons Merlin didn't understand, and had all disappeared from his life. Now, with the Earl's return, his humiliation tripled.

Merlin knuckled away a few tears, a chastising laugh gathering in his throat. No man was worth his tears, especially not Earl Arthur Pendragon! The sooner his husband left The Great Dragon Estate, the better.

Merlin was married to a stranger, to a man who hadn't kept his promise. And if the Earl annulled the marriage. Merlin had nowhere to go.

The sound of a shouting child broke through Merlin's reverie. He rushed towards the room he'd converted into a temporary nursery. Inside, his nephew Tristan sprawled upon the floor, playing with tin soldiers.

"Attack!" he yelled, dashing a row of soldiers to the floor.

Merlin smiled a little at Tristan's boyish enthusiasm. When Tristan let out another yell, the shrill fussing of an infant interrupted. The boys face turned worried.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake her up."

"It's okay."

Merlin lifted the baby gently to his chest. His niece Freya was barely nine months old. The baby reached out to grab Merlin's tunic. As he gently stroked the baby's back, Merlin strengthened his resolve.

Though his marriage was in shambles, he had his family. He would kept his brother's children safe, for he had sworn it upon Will's grave. Now he had to decide what to do next.

"Uncle Merlin?" Tristan stopped playing and drew his thinny knees up to his chest. "Has Papa come for us yet?"

"No, sweetheart. Not yet."

Like the worst sort of coward, Merlin hadn't yet told Tristan that his father was never coming back. How could he destroy his nephew's safe world of hope? Tristan would find the truth out soon enough.

Merlin pulled Tristan into a hug with his free arm, holding both children fiercely.

"I love you and your sister. You know that."

Tristan squirmed. "I know. Can I play?"

Merlin released him. The seven-year-old waged imaginary wars against the helpless tin soldiers, yelling in triumph when one soldier defeated an enemy.

Merlin sat down in a rocking chair, holding gently his niece. Freya wailed, her eyelids drooping with exhaustion. Merlin patted her back, wishing he could join the child in a fit of howling. He almost didn't see the shadow of Arthur hovering at the doorway.

"What do you want?" Merlin stood, clutching the baby to his chest as though Freya were a shield. "You're wounded. You shouldn't leave the bed."

Arthur's frigid gaze stared back at him. "I believe, after all, this is my house."

Tight lines edged Arthur's mouth, revealing unspoken pain. His blond hair was rumbled beneath the bandage wrapped across his temple. He leaned against the door frame, he was even thinner and weaker Merlin had last seen him. A rough stubble upon his cheeks gave Arthur a feral appearance, not at all the polished Earl Merlin had expected him to be.

Merlin took a step back, almost knocking over the rocking chair. _Damn his clumsiness_ , he thought.

"Your head took quite a blow. You're not ready to leave the bed and walk around."

"That would be convenient for you, wouldn't it? If I were to stumble and bleed to death."

Despite Arthur's harsh words, Merlin kept his composure.

"Quiet. But your blood would stain the carpet. There's no reason to trouble the servants."

"Well, I pay them."

"And your fortune would continue to do so after you're dead."

Damn, why did spiteful words keep slipping from his mouth? Merlin wasn't usually such a harpy, but arguing made it almost easier to conceal his fear. After all the Earl could make them leave.

Arthur gaze narrowed on the children. "Who are they?"

Merlin's defences rose up. "Our children. They belong to my brother. You are their guardian."

"Their guardian?"

Merlin cast Arthur a sharp look, praying he could stop him from saying more in front of the children. It would break Tristan's heart to learn of his father's death.

"We will speak about Will later." Merlin said.

"So, where is their nursemaid?" Arthur changed the subject.

"I don't want a nurse," Tristan interrupted. "I want Uncle Merlin."

Merlin tried to placate Tristan, but he refused. "I don't want one!" Tristan shrieked, throwing a tin soldier on the floor.

Merlin knew what was coming. "Here."

He stood and thrust his niece into Arthur's arms. He took the baby, holding Freya at arm's length as though she had dreaded disease. Merlin knelt down beside Tristan, trying to soothing him.

"Shh, now. We won't be getting a nurse. No need to worry."

"Papa will come soon," Tristan said, his face determined. "He will take us away from here." With a defiant scowl towards Arthur, the boy let Merlin comfort him.

The guilty burden grew heavier. Merlin couldn't keep Will's death from Tristan much longer.

"Merlin-"

There was a hint of pain in Arthur's voice. Immediately, Merlin released Tristan and went to the Earl. He took the baby just as Arthur's knees buckled and he collapsed against the door frame. He bit back a moan of pain, and fresh blood darkened the bandage around his head.

Quickly, Merlin placed his niece back in the cradle, ignoring Freya's wails of protest.

"Please, help!" he called out, hoping a servant would hear him. "Someone come quickly!"

Merlin knelt beside Arthur, supporting his weight with his arms. The flicker of a smile played at the Earl's mouth.

"So you decided not to let me die after all," Arthur whispered.

The Earl's eyes closed, and Merlin muttered, "The day isn't over yet."


	3. Chapter 3

Dammit! Arthur was not certain how much worse his life could get. He had a so-called husband who obviously hated him but at the same time cared about his well being, two unexpected children to take care about, and no memory of the past three months. The last one was the worst, and so he has called the butler George to find the answers he needed immediately.

Arthur struggled to sit up in bed, though the attempt made him dizzy. George arrived at last, clearing his throat to announce his presence.

"What happened the night I returned," Arthur prompted.

"I fear there is not much to tell, My Lord. As you already know, it happened two nights ago."

"Who brought me here?"

"It was a stranger, obviously hired. He didn't know who you were. His instructions were only to deliver you to the door."

"What belongings did I have with me?"

"Nothing." Only the clothes on your back, such as they were."

"What do you mean?"

"They were in tatters, my lord. Simply ghastly. They smelled terribly, like rotting fish, and I had them burned."

Had he been around the harbour or been taken aboard a ship? And why? He might have learned more if George hadn't burned his belongings. Damn!

Arthur controlled his temper and asked quietly, "Did you eventually check the pockets before you destroyed the clothes?"

"N-No, My Lord. I-I didn't think of that."

Arthur clenched his jaw and said, "Thank you, George. That will be all."

The butler cleared his throat, "My Lord, about your husband?"

"What's with him? Speak!"

"Well, sir, the others and I were wondering…"

George coughed, delaying his statement once more. Apparently there was some other detail the butler intended to share.

"For God's sake George, speak!"

"To put it bluntly, My Lord, your husband has been making several...changes."

"What kind of changes?" Arthur asked impatiently.

"I fear, My Lord, he may have gone too far."

Arthur couldn't recall the past months of his life, and George worried that his husband had gone too far?

"What. Has. He. Done?" Arthur gritted out.

"He's sacked Cook. And," George lowered his voice to a whisper, "he says he won't hire another one. He's planning to do all the cooking himself."

Bloody hell, Arthur thought. It looks like his husband really did mean to poison him.

Later that night, Arthur's intense headache deepened into a dull throbbing. And damn, he could not sleep. His eyes were dry and his nerves raw, so Arthur pushed back the bedcovers. His bare feet padded across the floor before his knee slammed into a wooden chest at the foot of the bed. Cursing, he fumbled his way towards the fireplace.

A large mirror hung above a dressing table. He could barely make out his own features in the shadows of the room. Lighting a candle, Arthur studied the man staring back at him. For a few months, he had a well-ordered , predictable life. Now, a haggard expression gazed back at him. He had an angry red scar creased a jagged line across his chest, a knife wound he didn't remember. The blow to his head was a recent wound, possibly from thieves or worse.

Yet someone had saved his life and sent him here.

Arthur didn't know himself anymore. The uncertainty unnerved him. Everytime he searched his memory for a fragment of the past events, his mind goes blank. He didn't remember his marriage or anything leading up to it. It was as though an invisible wall barricaded his mind from the truth.

He was about to retreat when his gaze narrowed on a black symbol edging the back of his neck. Turning, Arthur tried to distinguish what it was. Though he could not see the entire symbol, he recognised it as a tattoo.

What the…? When had he got it? Never in his life Arthur have considered such a thing. Now, the inked skin on his back marked yet another facet of the mysterious past.

Arthur stepped away from the mirror. He must find the answers he needed, quickly and regardless of the effort.

Merlin held some of those answers. He was wary of Arthur, and damn he should be. Likely Merlin had lied to protect the children, using Arthur for a place to stay.

He still couldn't believe that he'd married Merlin, even though they had been close as children. More than that, if Arthur were honest with himself.

How had their paths crossed after all those years? And why couldn't he remember?

A whimpering noise caught Arthur's attention. He paused a moment, then opened the door to the corridor. The noise grew softer, then stopped. As he passed down the hallway, Arthur heard the sound coming from one of the rooms.

He slowly opened the door and inside saw a bundled shape beneath the covers. It was definitely too small to be Merlin, and as his eyes adjusted to the dark, he recognised the boy he met earlier. What was his name? Timothy? The child's face was buried in the pillow, his thin small shoulders shaking.

Arthur's throat constricted, but he did not move to comfort the boy. It was as though his feet were locked in place. He was not the child's father, nor his guardian, regardless of what Merlin might claim. It was absolutely not his duty to comfort the child. And it was anyway better for the boy not to expect comfort or coddling from others.

Arthur's father had taught him just such a lesson until he had learned how to suppress his tears. A Pendragon could not cry or show any emotion. His own father had beaten it out of him until Arthur had become a model of composure.

As the boy's sobbing eased into the heavy breathing of sleep, Arthur took a step forward. He lifted the bedcover over the child, then left the room silently as he had come.


	4. Chapter 4

It's early in the morning and the sound of rain spattering against the window brought Merlin a sense of comfort. A kitchen maid lit the fire and a flickering warmth permeated the room while Merlin prepared the Earl's breakfast. He knew the servants viewed him with curiosity, but he didn't care about such things. All he want is to be useful. Giving orders to the household staff made him uneasy, for he had practically been a servant himself until recently.

Merlin had done his best to keep the family together after his parents had died. His brother Will's business failings were a constant source of anxiety, but Merlin of course had learned to suppress his criticism. None of their relatives would help them, not after-

He closed his eyes, not wanting to think about the devastating scandal. His brother had gambled away all their finances. Will had been grieving for his wife, a man out of his head. Merlin had forgiven him for it, even if it meant sacrificing his own future prospects.

And now he was married.

The Earl was going to get rid of him. Merlin was torn apart, so angry with him for his infidelity and for abandoning Will. And yet, to protect the children, he needed him. For now, Merlin had to make the best of this.

"You've scared him, you know," the maid remarked.

"The Earl?"

"No. I mean the butler, George. He's told the Lord that you sacked the cook."

Merlin didn't care if Arthur knew about his dismissing the cook. The ill-tempered man had been robbing the household blind over the past few months, claiming ridiculous costs for food. They were better without him.

"No need to worry about the cooking," the maid added. "Mrs. Bloom and myself will take care of it until the new cook arrives."

"Thank you."

Merlin relaxed a little. A small part of him had worried that he overstepped his bounds. The Earl might not appreciate his interfering with staff members, not with his own precarious position. Merlin needed to apologize for his cross words earlier.

A bell sounded to pronounce the Earl wanted his breakfast.

"I'll better go then," Merlin smiled slightly at the kitchen maid and picked up the tray.

Besides bringing the Earl his breakfast, Merlin wanted to speak with Arthur about the children. And maybe the heaping platter of delicious food could improve his temperament while he explained why throwing them out into the streets would be a very bad idea.

Merlin's stomach grumbled, but he ignored it. He had eaten a slice of toast and a cup of tea, that must do it for now. By the time he finished climbing the back staircase leading to the Earl's room, he knocked slightly. Merlin heard him call, "Enter."

The Earl was seated in a wingback chair, reading the newspaper. He wore black casual trousers and a red cotton tunic. The shadow of a beard lined his cheeks, and his intense gaze rested upon Merlin with interest.

His blonde hair was wet, drops of water glistening at his temples. He'd taken a bath, Merlin realised. A slight shiver run down his spine at the thought of Arthur sinking into a tub of water, his muscled arms resting upon the edge. Merlin had seen for himself the hard ridges of Arthur's stomach, the reddened scar across his chest. A wicked image arose, of soap sliding over those well shaped muscles, of what it would be like to touch him. What it would be like, if Arthur lowered his body upon his, until he yielded to him.

Like before…

An unbearable loneliness caught Merlin. Arthur had kissed him the night he'd left, as though he would never let Merlin go. And now it was as if that man had never existed.

An invisible fist punched him in the stomach, the hurt rising. When Arthur arrived back at the Great Dragon Estate, Merlin's first instinct had been to rush towards him, to hold him and thank God that he was alive.

But Arthur didn't know him anymore. He'd broken promises and cheated on Merlin with another man. And he couldn't let go of that. Merlin blinked back the emotions threatening to spill over. Arthur didn't feel anything towards him anymore, and Merlin didn't know if the Earl ever would again.

"Are you planning to set the tray down or continue staring at me?"

Merlin's face reddened, but he managed to lower the tray. "You're breakfast, Sire." He bobbed a false curtsy.

"I would prefer 'My Lord'."

Merlin of course had meant the address as sarcasm, but clearly the Earl did not recognise it. His temper flared.

"Will there be anything else? Shall I bow down before you and lick your boots?"

"Perhaps later."

The interest in Arthur's voice made it sound as if he didn't mind that idea at all. Merlin whirled and marched towards the door.

"I'm not finished with you yet," Arthur growled.

Merlin sent him a look filled with venom, but the Earl's attention remained in the newspaper.

Trying to get his temper under control Merlin asked, "Would you care for a tea?"

Arthur lowered the paper and regarded him. "Is it poisoned?"

"You won't know that until you are dead, now will you?" Merlin smiled sweetly and poured some tea into a cup. "Milk and sugar?"

"I drink it black. There's less chance of you adding something to it."

"Unless I already have," Merlin dared, offering Arthur the cup. Perhaps he'd choke on it.

Arthur's expression remained normal, and he refused to take the cup. "You first."

"Really, I haven't poisoned it," Merlin insisted.

"Drink." Arthur ordered.

The arrogant tone of the Earl's voice annoyed Merlin, but he obeyed. The hot tea tasted of rich spices with a heady aroma.

"There. Are you pleased now?"

"Not quite." The Earl set the newspaper aside and gestured toward the tray with food. "I want you to taste everything that is on the tray."

"I am not hungry."

At those words Arthur sent him a look that said he knew Merlin was lying.

"You look as though you haven't eaten properly in weeks. You're too thin. I won't have the servants gossiping I don't feed my own husband. If that's what you really are."

"I don't care what the servants think."

"But I do. And If you wish to stay here with the children, you will heed my wishes."

There. The treat was out. Arthur really could make things worse for him, forcing him and the children to leave. And then where would he be? He could not support the children, nor give them a home.


	5. Chapter 5

Merlin's cheeks reddened from anger, but he obeyed the order to taste from the food. He stabbed a sausage with a fork, and wished it were one of The Earl's more delicate parts.

He took a bite of the eggs, savouring the flavour. Merlin closed his eyes just for a second, enjoying the food. The sound of the ringing bell broke through his moment. Merlin opened his eyes, but the Earl gave no hint as to why he had summoned the maid.

"I did not spit in your food."

Arthur's eyes held no trace of humour. "I never said you did."

Merlin pushed the tray towards him. "You may eat, as you can see I'm still alive."

The Earl made no movement towards the food. He stared at Merlin, his gaze questioning. His eyes were the soft blue of a summer day, his mouth firm and stoic. Merlin had thought him to be a handsome man at one time. Arthur's features were strong, as though carved from stone.

Now The Earl was a statue. A man with no feelings, who never revealed a trace of what he was thinking. Why had he let himself fall prey to Arthur's promises? He had rescued him from a crumbling, debt-ridden estate. He'd sworn that he'd find his wayward brother and pay off Will's debts. Merlin had been so infatuated, he hadn't stopped to wonder why.

A knock sounded, but instead of a maid, the disapproving eyes of George frowned down upon Merlin. He straightened, though it would do nothing to change George's opinion of him.

"Bring my husband a plate of his own. And more tea," the Earl added.

"No, really - I don't need a thing."

Arthur's dark glare silenced Merlin. When George departed, the Earl folded his arms across his chest.

"We must come to terms on a view things. I give the orders, and you are to obey them. Furthermore, when George brings up the tray, you are to eat every bite of food."

"And if I don't?"

"You wish for the children to eat, do you not?"

At Arthur's implied threat that he would refuse them food, Merlin's fury exploded. _Arthur's a heartless bastard!_

"You wouldn't dare starve innocent children on your own ridiculous whims."

"They aren't my children," Arthur pointed out. "And if you want me to house them, clothe them and feed them, you will obey. Is that clear!"

Arthur saw the look of fear in Merlin's eyes and felt a trace of guilt for making the threat. Not too much, however. From the looks of it, Merlin had not eaten a proper meal in far too long. If a false implication would encourage him to eat, Arthur had no qualms about exaggerating.

"They are your responsibility," Merlin said.

George returned with the tray a few minutes later. Merlin ate, his eyes blazing with murder. And yet, The Earl could see the desperation in his carefully controlled appetite.

"I have some questions for you to answer," Arthur began. "Starting with our wedding day."

Merlin gave his full attention to the food, behaving he hadn't heard the Earl. Arthur reached out and took his left hand. Upon Merlin's third finger rested a gold band with the Pendragon crest engraved. Arthur rubbed his finger across the band, Merlin's fingers cool within his palms.

"I don't remember the marriage ceremony at all. I don't even remember giving you this ring. For all I know, you could have stole it."

Merlin glared at him. "Do you want it back?"

"Possibly."

Arthur stared at the ring, trying to piece the memory together. Merlin struggled to pull his hand away, but the Earl held it fast.

"Tell me about our wedding."

"It snowed that day," Merlin whispered. The look upon his face was of a man lost.

"Did we have feelings for one another?" Arthur asked quietly.

At that Merlin choked. "I don't suppose I truly know the answer. I thought you cared for me." Pain silhouetted his words. "I was wrong."

"Did I compromise you?" The Earl asked, running his thumb over the edge of Merlin's hand. His palm were rough, like a servant's.

Merlin jerked his hand away. "I'd rather not talk about that, if you don't mind."

"Why did you marry me?"

What was this sadness in Merlin's eyes? He kept up such strong defences, Arthur couldn't see past the anger to understand it.

"I had my reasons."

Upon Merlin's face the Earl saw veiled embarrassment. Merlin had spoken of feelings between them. Had he ever claimed to love him?

"I must return to Camelot," Arthur said, changing the subject. "As soon as I am healed, you will journey with me."

"No!" Merlin caught himself and amended, "That is, I rather not."

The alarm in his voice alerted Arthur's suspicions. "Why are you so afraid of Camelot?"

"Your father won't want to see us. And the children need me here." Merlin fumbled with his hands as though searching for a stronger excuse.

"Anna, the wet nurse you hired for Freya can take care of both."

When Merlin made no reply, the Earl switched his tactics. "Don't you think my family will wonder why I haven't brought my husband with me?"

Merlin's cheeks turned scarlet. His reluctance had to mean they weren't married. The Earl was sure of it.

But he startled Arthur by lifting his chin. "I don't care what they think. I won't go to Camelot with you. Not now. Not ever." Merlin rose to his feet and strode from the room. The door slamming shut behind him.

Merlin was afraid. And unless the Earl was very much mistaken, he had a grave feeling that his husband knew far more about the night he had disappeared than he's suspected. It did not bode well for their future together.


	6. Chapter 6

Later, Dr. Gaius checked the bandages of Arthur's wounds and nodded his approval.

"Your husband has done well caring for you," he remarked. "The wounds are clean and your bruises are healing well. I should think you will be back on your feet within a few days."

"I must return to Camelot quickly," Arthur remarked. "Three days from now, if possible."

"My lord, I would advise against undue haste. If I may, I'd ask you to wait at least a week before you go."

"I do not remember anything of the accident," Arthur admitted. "Nor what happened to me during the past three month. I need answers, immediately."

"Memory loss can occur with an accident." Dr. Gaius replaced carefully the bandage, tying it off. "I've seen it in many patients, particularly those with traumatic incidents."

"When will the rest of my memories return?" Arthur asks impatiently."

"To be honest, my lord, they might not. In cases such as yours, it is difficult to say. What I can say with all confidence, your headaches and pains should be gone within a few days more."

Pain was the last of Arthur's concern. He was tempted to ask the doctor about the strange tattoo he'd found on the back of his neck, but decided against it. For all he knew, he had done something rash. Like marry a man he hadn't seen in years.

After Dr. Gaius departed, Arthur thought about his earlier conversation with Merlin. He had not questioned him caring for the children, but his claim that Arthur was now responsible for their welfare troubled him.

Arthur decided to speak with the boy. If he could not get the answers from his husband, he would get them elsewhere. He summoned George and ordered him to fetch the boy. Minutes passed, and no one came.

He waited a little longer, pacing across the carpet. Someone should teach the boy discipline and how to be prompt. It was never too early to learn good manners. After five more minutes passed, Arthur opened the door to the hallway.

"Come now." George leaned down, holding out a sugar biscuit as bait.

A sulking-faced boy gave the butler a defiant glare, but he took a single step forward.

"It's all right. Come here, please," the butler crooned.

"For God's sake, George. The boy isn't a dog." Arthur's patience had reached its limits.

"But he won't listen, my lord." The butler straightened, and predictably the boy disappeared behind a door.

"I handle this." Arthur strode towards the room. When he tried the door, it was locked.

For a moment, Arthur stood outside the door planning his next move. Treating the boy like a child would not work, that's for sure. So Arthur knocked.

"Go away!"

That was to be expected. Any other opponent would be foolish to simply surrender. But Arthur of course, had the proper incentive.

"You wish to leave my house, do you not?"

A pause. The strategy was not a move the boy had anticipated.

"Yes."

"Then I suggest an exchange of information. You tell me what I wish to know, and I will see to your departure."

Of course Arthur didn't mention where but school was a likely prospect. The boy needed an education, after all.

After another pause the door clicked and opened slightly. Arthur hid his smile of victory. He needed answers, and he was counting upon the child's honest to get them. Arthur entered the room while a pair of young suspicious eyes watched him.

"Timothy, is it?" Arthur began.

"My name is Tristan." The boy sent him a hard look and crossed his arms." And I don't like you."

Arthur shrugged. "I can say as I like you much either."

So the lines had been drawn, the enemy lines established.

Arthur began with a simple question, "How long have you been living here at the Great Dragon Estate?"

"Since March." The boy's attention moved to the door as though he were planning an escape.

"And your uncle brought you here?"

The boy's face softened at the mention of Merlin, then grew defensive. "He sent for us, yes." He fidgeted, looking down at his hands.

"Why did your uncle marry me?"

Fear swept across Tristan's pale, thin face. "I don't know."

"Oh I think you do. You'd best tell me the truth."

The boy's attention lowered to the floor, and he clenched his fists. "I want my papa."

Arthur tone softened a bit. "I was sorry to hear about your father." He reached out to the boy, but Tristan bolted for the door.

Arthur caught him before he could flee. The child's shoulders trembled, and he broke into sobs.

"I want papa!" Tears ran down his cheeks, and Tristan fought to free himself.

It was useless. He should have known better than to demand answers from a child.

"What have you done?"

The door flew open, and Merlin swept into the room. Like a furious storm, he released the full force of his wrath.


	7. Chapter 7

As soon as Merlin saw Tristan, he bent down and gathered him into his arms. "You made him cry. God's Arthur, he's only a boy!"

"I only asked him a few questions," Arthur admitted. He felt sheepish, for the idea had not been a good one.

Merlin mustered a smile for Tristan. "Go and see the maid in the kitchen. She has a slice of cake waiting for you."

The promise of cake was all that was needed to send the child dashing from the room.

When Tristan had gone, Merlin unleashed his fury.

"You heartless bastard! What did you say to him?" There was true fear in Merlin's eyes, not just anger.

"Like I said, I asked him a few questions." Arthur took a step closer, watching Merlin tremble. "What are you so afraid of, Merlin?"

"H-He doesn't know his father his dead."

"Why not?"

A deep weariness edged Merlin's expression. The rage grew calm as he gathered his composure.

"It's my fault. I-I couldn't bear to hurt him. He lost his mother when Freya was born. And n-now his father."

Arthur took Merlin's wrist, feeling his pulse quicken. His hands were warm, and he smelled the light fragrance of herbs near his nape. And Arthur found himself wanting to draw nearer.

"Hiding the truth from him, won't make it go away."

"And sometimes no one will believe the truth when it is spoken."

Merlin held his scrutiny, jerking his hand away. "Go to Camelot. You'll find the answers you seek there." Merlin's icy demeanour had returned.

Arthur grew irritated at his martyrdom and seized both of Merlin's wrists. Taking his left hand, Arthur gripped his palm so that the wedding ring pressed into Merlin's skin.

"Stop playing with me and answer my questions. What happened to your brother?"

"His creditors killed him while you were visiting your _lover,_ " Merlin spat. "He bled to death."

"I don't have a lover," Arthur contradicted.

Merlin tried to break free, but Arthur refused to let go. "Do you truly believe I would let a man die if I had the power to stop it?"

"N-No," he admitted. Even so, doubts clouded his face.

Arthur moved closer, hoping to unravel Merlin's lies. But when his hand slipped around his waist, Arthur saw the genuine grief in Merlin's eyes. Beneath the clothes, the heat of Merlin's skin warmed Arthur's palm.

"Who told you I was with my lover?"

"The men who brought Will's body to me."

Merlin tried again to pull away, but Arthur held him captive. Regardless of the means, he would have his answers.

"And who were they?"

Arthur's hand moved up his husband's spine until he reached his neck, his fingers lingering on the hairline. He wanted to gauge his reaction.

"I-I don't know," Merlin stammered. "I thought they were your solicitors or from your father. They were looking for you."

Merlin flinched as Arthur grazed his skin. "Don't touch me."

He ignored him. "Why not?"

"Because you don't mean it. You don't want me. Any more than I want you."

 _A sudden flash of memory took hold. Merlin stood before the fireplace in Arthur's room at the Great Dragon Estate. His fingers moved to unbutton Arthur's tunic, and Merlin's face was flushed with desire._

Arthur dropped his hand away from his husband when the fleeting vision faded. Where had it come from? Was it real? Had they been really lovers? Frustration clawed at his mind when the emptiness returned.

He leaned in close, so his face nearly touched Merlin's. "Tell me why I married you."

With him so near, Arthur could smell Merlin's unique scent. His blue eyes were confused, his cheeks pale. Merlin gripped his hands together so tightly his knuckles whitened.

With a light shrug he met Arthur's gaze. "You said you wanted to take care of me, to help our family. And like a fool, I wanted to believe you-you loved me."

Arthur studied him for a moment. Merlin looked so lost, so vulnerable. Behind his mask of bitterness Arthur caught a glimpse of the boy he'd once known. He'd been his best friend, long ago. And now Merlin was his husband.

The lost three months felt like a lifetime.

"How did it happen?" Arthur asked.

Had he courted Merlin? Was it an impulsive move, or had he been forced into it?

"It was the last day of February, in a small village near the border to Mercia. And of course there is a marriage certificate, if you want to see it."

"Perhaps later."

Arthur knew very well that documents of that nature could still be forged. He preferred to send a trusted servant to see the parish records.

He suspected that he would not get an honest answer from Merlin, not when he was desperate to protect the children's welfare. It had to have been an arrangement between them, a bargain of sorts.

But for Merlin there had been more.

Merlin tried to pull away, but Arthur refused to let him escape. He was so fragile within his grasp, like a glass about to shatter.

"Where there feelings between us?" Arthur asked.

He leaned in so close he could feel Merlin's breath upon his face. If he moved his mouth to the side, it would graze Merlin's lips in a soft kiss. Arthur waited for Merlin to push at him, to curse him for touching him.

Merlin gave him no answer. Instead, his body seemed to conform to Arthur's. His hands rested upon the Earl's shoulders while Arthur idly traced a path up Merlin's spine. The years seemed to fall away until he was once again the young boy Arthur had almost kissed in the stables.

Only now, he held a man in his arms. A gorgeous, hot-tempered man who made him lose his sense of reason the moment he touched Merlin. Arthur didn't kiss him, though he wanted to. There were too many unanswered questions.

When Arthur stepped backwards, Merlin grasped his arms to shield himself. "Are you going to annul our marriage?"

The fear in Merlin's eyes made Arthur hesitate. He wanted to say yes. Instead he answered truthfully, "I don't know yet."

Arthur traced the outline of Merlin's face with his thumb. "I'm going to find out what happened to me, Merlin," he told him. "Stay here until I return from Camelot."

Merlin looked sadly at him, answering, "Where else could I go?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Camelot**

"Oh God's."

Lady Helena Pendragon covered her heart with her palm when she saw Arthur. He embraced his Stepmother, and she squeezed him tightly just before her fist collided with his ear.

"Damn, you frightened me to death, Arthur. I thought heathens had kidnapped you and taken you off to some forsaken island in the middle of nowhere."

Arthur rubbed his ear and managed a small smile. For all he knew, his Stepmother might have been correct concerning his whereabouts.

"I sent word before I arrived."

"You should have sent a message long before that. You left the last ball, which made your father extremely cross by the way. And then you just _vanished_ , even the servants couldn't tell me where you were."

Lady Helena guided Arthur to sit down, and poured a cup of tea. "Now, tell me everything that's happened since you left."

"There isn't much to tell," Arthur admitted. He did not posses enough memories to offer an honest accounting, so he gave her what truths he could. "I've been recovering at the Great Dragon Estate in Ealdor."

"Y-You were injured?" Immediately she reached out and patted gently the ear she'd boxed. "I'm sorry, Arthur. And you're well now?"

"Better. I have little memory of what had happened. That's why I came to Camelot...to look for answers."

Lady Helena took a deep sip of tea, and worry lines edged her mouth. "I don't like the thought of some ruffian doing you harm. And I think you should attend the ball next week. It will take your mind off matters." She put on a bright smile and took Arthur's hand. "Your father and I insist."

At the mention of his father, a gnawing irritation formed in Arthur's gut. "Helena, I really don't think-"

"Oh, pish posh. I knew exactly what you need. A lovely woman or man at your side, that's what. Someone to share your troubles. I have my heart quiet set upon you marrying...in fact," she leaned in close as if imparting a great secret, "your father and I already begun drawing up a guest list for your wedding. All you need is to find…"

At his Stepmother's assertion, Arthur's mouth tightened. "Married?"

His Stepmother laughed. "Well of course, Arthur. If anyone is one of the most eligible bachelors in Camelot, it's you."

She was serious. Blood roared in Arthur's ears as his mind processed what she had said. It seemed Merlin Emrys had lied to him after all.

 **The Great Dragon Estate**

Arthur had been gone for three days, but Merlin's uneasiness grew with each passing hour. Was the Earl all right? Had his wounds healed fully?

 _Dammit, stop it!_ Merlin took a deep breath and knelt down on the soft lawn beside the herb garden. _He's gone. That was what you wanted._ But now matter how he tried to slip back into his former pattern of living, it wasn't the same.

With a pair of scissors, he hacked several handfuls of fresh herbs. Despondency seemed to settle over his shoulders, like a familiar burden. Normally the scent of herbs lifted his spirits, but too many questions rushed through his mind.

What if Arthur never came back? Or what if he divorced him?

His throat ached with unshed tears, even as he ordered himself not to cry. Arthur hadn't loved him when he'd offered to marry him. And now he simply had to live with those consequences.

A rough palm covered his mouth. Merlin tried to scream, but his attacker's finger encircled his throat.

"If you make a sound, I'll snap your neck," he whispered.

In a swift motion the attacker shoved Merlin to the ground, pressing his face against the damp earth. Merlin couldn't breath, his heart seizing with fear.

"You know what happened to your brother, don't you?"

Merlin's pulse raced at the knowledge that Will's enemies had found him. He tried to nod.

"I want all his documents of all his investments. Where are they?" The attacker released his grip upon Merlin's mouth.

"I-I don't know," he stammered, lifting his chin a little to gasp for air.

The attacker forced him back into the dirt, his fingers squeezing Merlin's neck. "Don't lie to me."

Before Merlin could say another word, he heard Tristan calling out to him. "Uncle Merlin!"

"Tell no one of this," his attacker warned Merlin. "Or Will's children will suffer for it."

A fist collided with his ear, and Merlin bit back a cry of pain. When he turned around the man was gone. Tristan continued calling out to him, and Merlin stumbled to his feet. With trembling hands, he wiped his face clean of the dirt.

 _They've found us_ was all Merlin could think. Will's enemies, perhaps even the man who had killed him. Why did he want his brother's documents? His demands made no sense. Will's business investments had never been anything but failures.

They weren't safe here any longer. He would not allow Tristan or Freya to fall prey to his brother's enemies. Camelot. He would have to take the children to Camelot. Arthur could protect all of them.

Merlin's bruised heart ached at the thought of being near Arthur. His promises had all been a lie, and now Merlin was entangled in a marriage that was never meant to be.

Worse was his reaction to Arthur's touch. Though he had done nothing more than hold him, it had evoked memories Merlin had tried to forget. His body warmed at the thought. Skin to skin, Arthur's flesh joining with his.

No! Never again. Merlin had learned his lesson after their wedding night. It wouldn't happen again.

Merlin went inside and found Tristan curled up on a staircase, his mouth pursed as he struggled to read a book of fairy tales he had brought from home.

When he saw Merlin, he smiled. "There you are. Will you read to me, Uncle Merlin?"

"Not now. I-I need to tell you something important. We're going to Camelot."

"To find Papa?"

Merlin shook his head, steeling his courage. The time had come to admit the truth. There weren't any words gentle enough to say what needed to be said. He knelt down and Tristan eyed him with suspicion.

"Tristan, your father is not coming back." Merlin took the boy's hands in his.

"Tristan bobbed his head. "Of course, he does. Papa promised me. He always keeps his promises."

"H-He can't keep this one, Tristan. He died."

"No! I don't believe you."

"It's true." Merlin reached out to embrace the boy, but Tristan jerked away.

"No. I know he'll come. He said he would."

With tears caught deep in his throat, Merlin squeezed Tristan's shoulder. "We're leaving in the morning. Gather the things you want to take along."

"I can't leave. Papa knows we're here. This is where I'm waiting for him. I won't go." Tristan's voice trembled, a note of anger rising.

Merlin did not reply, rose to his feet and turned his back to leave. Behind him, his nephew wept softly.


	9. Chapter 9

**Camelot**

To get the answers he needed about the marriage, Arthur dispatched messengers to all the small villages across the Mercian border. Though his stepmother insisted he was still a bachelor, he wasn't sure whom to believe.

At certain moments, erratic images flashed like shadows through his mind, of Merlin in his embrace. Arthur didn't know if they were true or not. Behind his insurmountable wall of hatred lay a man whom Arthur had cared about once. But he still couldn't believe he'd married Merlin.

The library door opened, and Arthur's father, Lord Uther Pendragon stood at the doorway. His father studied Arthur without speaking a word. Uther wore black, as he always did, a streak of grey marring the temples of his hair.

"Would you care to explain your actions?" Uther began without a prelude.

Arthur did not rise to the bait. "It is good to see you again also, father."

There was no welcome, no show of affection. Often, Arthur wondered whether his father had any feelings towards his children. They never talked. Since the death of Arthur's younger sister Morgana many years ago, his father had behaved as if nothing were amiss. He had never spoken of the tragedy.

"Helena tells me you got married," The unspoken words were, _Without my permission._

"The choice of a wife or husband is mine, I believe. I do not require your consent."

"You are wrong in that." Uther straightened into the posture of a military general. "Your responsibilities as my heir include choosing a suitable wife or husband."

"There is nothing unsuitable about Merlin Emrys. He's a baron's son," Arthur reminded his father.

"And his family is ridden with scandal. No one in society will receive him."

And, of course, society's dictates were of the utmost importance. Arthur suddenly grasped a very real reason why he might have wed Merlin. Marrying him was the perfect way to defy his father's wishes. Uther Pendragon could not control Arthur's choice of a wife or husband.

"Is that all?" Arthur asked. He stared at his father, eye to eye.

"Not quite. You will see to it that no one learns of your...indiscretion, until I have investigated the means of dissolving the marriage. I hope, for your sake, that it can still be done."

Having voiced his decree, Lord Uther Pendragon saw no reason to remain. He departed without another word.

Arthur opened a cabinet and poured himself a whiskey. As he warmed the glass in his hand, his fingers tightened around the remain. His father seemed unaware that he could no longer dictate his son's choices. He took a sip of the whiskey, revelling in silent defiance. His life was his own, and he didn't care what his father's preferences were.

Arthur set the whiskey glass down, his mind settling back to Merlin Emrys. Beneath his thin, fragile exterior was a man with an iron will, a dangerous man who resented him. Merlin was using him to provide for his niece and nephew. Just as Arthur was using Merlin to rebel against his father. The thought sobered Arthur.

Had Merlin believed he'd loved him? Why would he lie to Merlin in that way? Arthur didn't like to think of behaving in such a dishonorable manner. And yet the answers lay just beyond his reach, strange pieces of a puzzle that would not fit together.

Until he had the answers, he could not force Merlin out of his life.


	10. Chapter 10

Bloody hell! Merlin longed to find a gun and shoot himself.

After traveling for days in a tiny and uncomfortable coach, stopping only to eat something or to sleep at an inn, Freya had commenced to scream at the top of her tiny lungs. For hours. And hours.

The wet nurse Anna had tried her best to calm the screaming infant, but Freya continued to sob. Tristan had, of course, joined in the chorus, whining that he wanted go home, and threatening to run away to find his papa. Merlin counted silently to fifty and reminded himself that Camelot was not far now. It had begun to rain, the falling drops drumming against the coach in rhythm to the horses' hooves.

After Freya had cried herself into exhaustion and Tristan's tousled head rested in Merlin's lap, the familiar sight of Camelot surrounded him. _I cannot do this,_ Merlin thought. How could he arrived upon Lord Uther Pendragon's doorstep, demanding to see his husband? But Merlin had no choice. The Great Dragon Estate was no longer safe.

The coach slowed and drew to a halt. The driver opened the door.

"Wait here," Merlin whispered to Anna. The wet nurse nodded, cradling Freya in her arms.

Merlin prayed that Arthur would grant them shelter. It was long past time for callers, and rain pounded the streets. Merlin ignored the rain and marched up to the front door. Knocking, he reminded himself that he have to behave with the haughtiness of a Earl's husband.

A servant opened the door, his eyebrows raised as though Merlin were a rat come in off the streets. Merlin returned the man's curious glare with one of purpose.

"Step back from the door, if you please. I do not intend to stay out longer in this weather."

The servant blinked a moment. "The servants' entrance is in the back."

"Do I look like a servant?" Merlin stepped forward, pushing him out of the way. "And if my husband heard you accusing me as such, he would be most insulted."

The servant's expression turned curious. Merlin unfastened his cloak, offering them to the man. He did not accept the dripping garments.

"Whom shall I say is here?" the servant enquired, still seeming as though he intended to throw Merlin out.

"I am Merlin Emrys, Earl Arthur Pendragon's husband," he said sweeping past the man. "And the Earl is expecting our arrival."

Arthur had asked him to come to Camelot at first, so it wasn't really a lie. Merlin could simply say that he changed his mind. Yes, that was it.

"What's your name?" Merlin inquired the servant.

"I am Cedric," the servant replied.

"So Cedric, we have been traveling a long time. Please have our rooms prepared and ask the kitchen staff to arrange a meal for the children and myself."

Merlin completed his request by crossing his arms, deliberately giving the man a view of his wedding ring on his left hand. At the sight of the ring, Cedric's behaviour changed instantly.

"If you would be so kind to wait here, I shall inform Lord Uther Pendragon of your arrival."

Merlin set his cloak down, pacing as he held back his nerves. Minutes passed by, and at last he heard the sound of footsteps. The servant returned, followed by Lord Uther Pendragon. Merlin clenched his hands so hard, his knuckles turned white.

"What is going on, Cedric?" Uther demanded.

"I'm here to see my husband." Merlin gripped his wedding ring so hard, the metal bit into his skin.

Uther nodded to the servant. "Leave us."

Merlin's defences rose up immediately. He could tell the Lord planned to get rid of him. Did Arthur even know he was here? Not likely, given the smug expression of Cedric as he'd left. Panic set in, replaced by desperation. After his family's scandal, Merlin had no friends in Camelot, no one to turn to. He couldn't possibly let Lord Pendragon send them away.

"You are not welcome here," Uther said without preamble. "Furthermore, you are not going to touch a penny of my son's fortune."

"Damn! I don't want his money. I don't need it."

Uther glanced at Merlin's faded clothes with unconcealed disdain. At Uther's attempt to intimate Merlin, he stiffened. Merlin had no choice but to fight for the children. If they went back, Will's enemies would find them.

"I want to see Arthur," Merlin repeated.

Uther folded his arms, annoyed at Merlin's defiance. "I do not care what you want. My son does not wish to see you again. And if you don't leave of your own accord, I shall have Cedric remove you."

Merlin was strongly tempted to call out to Arthur, in the vain hope his husband would somehow appear and rescue them. He had no other choice but to beg. He couldn't leave, not with the children's future at stake.

"Please. Just let me see him for a moment. I won't cause any trouble."

Outside, Merlin could hear Freya crying again, amid the noise of the Camelot streets. Lord Uther Pendragon said nothing, his face cold and stony with resolution. With a nod from the Lord, the servant appeared from beside the staircase and opened the front door. Merlin stepped backwards, and the icy rain pelted his bare skin.

A moment later, Cedric tossed him the cloak, and Merlin caught it before the door shut firmly. Merlin stared up at the illuminated windows, not caring that the rain had soaked through his clothes.

His husband hadn't come. What had he expected?

Woodenly, Merlin returned to the coach, not knowing what to do next.

"Are we going inside?" Anna asked, bouncing Freya against her shoulder.

Merlin reached out and stroked his niece's head gently while he held back some tears. "No."

Merlin should have been prepared for this. Lord Uther Pendragon had never approved of his childhood friendship with Arthur, a fact that apparently had not changed.

"What will we do?" Anna asked.

"I don't know."

The coachman was waiting for Merlin to make a decision, but he could not think of any other alternatives. Had his husband really wanted to send him away? Or was it Uther's doing? Arthur might not know he was here.

Before he could stop himself, Merlin made a decision and opened the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Anna, tell the driver to circle around the streets. Keep going, and don't stop until you see me outside again."

The sheer force of his will-power drove Merlin to do something rash. The rain blinded him, but he pushed through it, moving towards the servant's entrance. As he'd hoped, it was unlocked.

Merlin found the back staircase and took the steps two at a time before some servants could pursue him. If Arthur were here, he would find him.

Dripping wet, Merlin steeled himself in case Lord Pendragon appeared. He didn't. He listened carefully at each door, moving down the hall. Not knowing his whereabouts, at last he choose a door and opened it.

A brunette-haired woman in an emerald-green-coloured dress sat reading. She stifled a shriek at the sight of Merlin.

"Merlin Emrys, what on earth are you doing here?"

He recognised Lady Helena. "I'm looking for my husband."

Lady Helena gaped at him. "Does Arthur know you are here?"

Merlin shook his head, "Please forgive me, Lady Helena, but I'm in a bit of hurry. Which room is he in, please."

Lady Helena tilted her head to one side, a curious look on her face. "My husband doesn't know you are here, does he?"

Merlin didn't want to admit the truth, so he said, "I must see my husband. I would not be here, if it were not urgent."

"Well then...he is down the hall, third door on your right." Lady Helena eyed Merlin's sodden clothing. "Would you care to change your clothes?"

"Thank you. But I won't be long."

Merlin nodded farewell to Lady Helena and peered out the door. No one was about, so he tore across the hallway. Throwing open the door, he closed it behind him. Arthur was in the midst of disrobing, his tunic fully unbuttoned and hanging off his shoulders.

Upon the back of his neck was a black tattoo, similar to his brother's Now where had Arthur gotten that? He hadn't had it on their wedding night.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Arthur pulled the tunic back on, a frown upon his face. "I thought you were going to stay at the Great Dragon Estate."

At the sight of Arthur's bare chest, Merlin backed away. Arthur moved towards him, and Merlin averted his eyes, trying not to look at Arthur's chest. Deep ridges of muscle were marred by a jagged scar several inches long. The skin had healed, but the redness remained from the knife wound.

"I changed my mind." Merlin simply stated.

"You're soaking wet. Come over by the fire and dry off."

"I don't have time. The children are outside," Merlin said. "I would have brought them with me, except your father tossed me into the streets."

Arthur's face tightened with anger. "Did he?" It infuriated him that his husband had come to Camelot, and his father had treated him poorly. "I'm glad you didn't let that stop you."

Arthur took a step forward, "Stand by the hearth and warm yourself," he murmured. "I'll send a servant to collect the children."

"Your father won't want them here." Merlin replied.

Arthur didn't particularly care what his father wanted, but it was late, and he had no interest in arguing. "I'll make other arrangements, then. I just purchased a house a few miles from here, it should do well enough."

Arthur reached out and palmed the back of Merlin's neck, massaging the tensions. The softness of his skin intrigued him, and Arthur let his hand slide lower.

"W-What are you doing?" Merlin's skin rose with goose bumps, his voice shaky. "Keep your hands to yourself, Pendragon."

Arthur lowered his mouth to Merlin's shoulder, inhaling the herbal scent of his skin. Merlin shivered. His cheeks redden, his pupils blown wide.

"D-Don't make me remember this." he whispered.

Arthur stopped, but held Merlin's hand, his fingers encircling the wedding ring. Then reluctantly, he let Merlin go. Merlin's shoulders lowered with relief. Arthur donned his tunic and grabbed a jacket.

"Come." He took Merlin by the hand, leading him down the servant's staircase. "The coach is outside?"

Merlin nodded. Arthur located his overcoat and an umbrella, following Merlin outside. "There. I see it."

Arthur signalled to the coachman and within moments they were inside the vehicle. He recognised the driver from the Great Dragon Estate and was thankful that at least his husband had enough sense to bring an escort with them. After giving the coachman the direction, they were on their way.

When Arthur sat beside Merlin, the young boy scowled. "What is _he_ doing here?"

"Tristan," Merlin warned.

"I'm taking you to a warm bed to sleep," Arthur remarked. "Unless you'd rather I leave you outside in the rain?"

Tristan's frown deepened, and he crossed his arms. "I'd rather sleep anywhere else than in your house."

Arthur was not about to tolerate such insolence. Knocking against the coach's door, he ordered the driver to stop.

"What are you doing?" Merlin looked horrified.

Arthur opened the door. "Be my guest," he invited the boy.

There was just enough fear, just enough uncertainty to keep Tristan frozen in his seat. When he didn't move, Arthur shut the door.

"Understand this. I will not abide rudeness in the presence of your uncle. You will respect my authority and obey."

The boy's face filled with fury, but he managed a nod.

"Good." Arthur signalled for the coachman to drive on.

But one matter was certain - he and the boy were now clear enemies.


	11. Chapter 11

Arthur unlocked the door of the town house. A musty odour blanketed the hallway, and the entire house needed a good airing. He rested his hand on the staircase banister, while Merlin ushered the children inside. He held Freya close to his cheek, while Tristan clung to his breeches. Though Merlin held his posture perfectly straight, his eyes were dimmed with exhaustion. How had he managed the two-day journey with no one but Arthur's coachman and the wet nurse as escorts?

"Sorry there isn't a nursery," Arthur apologised, leading them up the stairs to one of the rooms. "And obviously there are no servants at the moment." He ventured a rueful smile. "I hadn't expected to move my belongings for another day or two. It wasn't prepared for your unexpected arrival."

"It will do nicely." Merlin ventured a smile, the first peaceful gesture Arthur had seen. "Can you find a place for Freya to sleep?"

They went upstairs, and Arthur located two wingback chairs in one of the rooms. He pushed them together to form a bed for the baby. Freya rubbed her eyes, fussing and arching her small body. Merlin stroked the baby's back and dropped a kiss upon his niece's cheek and lay her down to sleep. Tristan removed his shoes and dived into the bed in the room, burrowing under the covers as though trying to shut out the world. For a moment Merlin envied him, wishing that he could easily forget all that had happened.

His husband was stranger to him now, a man who felt nothing at all towards him. It was like a waking nightmare, to love someone and to be forgotten afterwards.

Would Arthur expect him to share his bed tonight? Merlin stiffened, wanting to avoid it for as long as possible. How could he share the most intimate act with Arthur when he cared nothing for Merlin?

Memories of Arthur's kiss, of the way he'd laid him down like a cherished husband, pulled at Merlin's heart. Arthur had made love to him, joining their bodies until Merlin lost himself.

It was how he felt now. Lost.

Arthur had come into his life again, and it had taken only days for Merlin to rekindle the feelings he'd buried deep in his heart a long time ago. Didn't everyone want to believe in fairy tales? Arthur had made one happen for Merlin. But it had been a lie. And the only way to shield his broken heart was to stay as far away from Arthur as possible.

Arthur held out his hand to Merlin. He forced himself to take it, even though he didn't want to. His palm warmed Merlin's, and Arthur led him into the parlour, where he had lit a small fire.

The flames warmed the room, and Merlin stood before the hearth, drying his clothes. Arthur sat down in a chair, watching him. His intense gaze embarrassed Merlin.

"Why are you staring at me?" Merlin held himself erect, gripping his arms until his fingers left marks on the skin.

"I'm still wondering if we really are married." Arthur leaned forward to watching him. His blonde hair still held droplets of rain, and one trickled down his cheek toward a sensual mouth.

Merlin tried not to remember the tantalising darkness of Arthur's kiss. "Of course we are married, how often must I repeat that?" He kept his eyes upon Arthur, though his intense look made his skin flush.

Arthur stood and walked behind Merlin to close the door. Merlin's damp clothes chafed against his skin, making him even more uncomfortable. Alone in the darkness with only the glowing coals upon the fire and a single candle, Merlin felt more vulnerable than ever before.

"Do you have any other relations?" Arthur asked. "If I were not your husband, who would look after you and the children?"

"My uncle. He lives in Essetir." Tension hovered, and with every second that passed, Merlin grew more nervous. Why was Arthur asking this? Was he planning to send them away?

Arthur's blue eyes turned thoughtful. "I've sent word to the local parishes across the Mercian border. If you have lied to me-"

"Damn… I haven't." Despite his claims, Arthur would not accept the truth. Merlin doubted if even the scrawled signature upon the marriage certificate would satisfy Arthur.

Arthur's gaze grew heated and he lifted Merlin's hand to his cheek. The rough edge of Arthur's face needled Merlin's fingers.

"Did I share your bed?"

Merlin fumbled for lie, anything to keep Arthur from touching him. "You left me a week after our wedding. We… We never-"

"Then it will be easy to get an annulment." Arthur lifted Merlin's palm across his lips, and Merlin fought the protest rising.

A razor of hurt slashed at Merlin's heart. He'd given himself to Arthur and he'd forgotten about it. The most wonderful night of Merlin's life had meant nothing to Arthur.

"Unless you want to share a bed with me, now?" Arthur's voice grew dark and seductive.

Merlin closed his eyes to gather his composure. He hated the ways his body came alive, the way he wanted Arthur's embrace. His mouth, hot and urgent, had haunted Merlin ever since their wedding night. And Merlin was deathly afraid that he would succumb to his desires.

"If you have need of a man, you can go to your lover," Merlin said. The very thought of the unknown man infuriated him, for it brought back memories of Will's death.

"Damn… I already told you. I don't have one. Patrick and I haven't been together since autumn. And… Why would I need a lover when I have a husband?"

Merlin wavered, unsure of whether to believe Arthur. But even if he hadn't been with his lover, Merlin wasn't about to share his bed again. Not if Arthur was going to leave him.

"I won't be a husband to you! You'll have to force me first."

Arthur's blue eyes hardened like a barrel of a gun. "I would never force anyone." There was fury in his gaze, and Merlin struggled to remain rooted where he was.

Arthur reached out and, with a single finger, brushed over Merlin's chest. Instantly, his nipple hardened beneath the cold fabric. Arthur used his finger to toy with the erect nipple and a hot aching grew, deep inside Merlin's manhood. Merlin's breath shuddered as Arthur rubbed excruciating circles of heat. Memories of loving Arthur came flooding back. Merlin's hands fell upon Arthur's shoulders, reaching for him.

Then abruptly, Arthur drew away. Merlin could hardly breath, his body completely aroused by just a single touch.

"Goodnight." Arthur turned and walked away, leaving Merlin behind.

Merlin wanted to cry out in frustration, but he knew Arthur had done it deliberately. He had intended to stimulate Merlin's senses, to make him beg for more. But Merlin was made of stronger stuff than the Earl ever imagine. Let Arthur try to make him feel passion again. Merlin would never forget the way Arthur had abandoned him and Will.

Never would Merlin let Arthur close to him again.


	12. Chapter 12

Arthur avoided Merlin over the next week, only offering brief conversation now and then. They slept in separate bedrooms, and Arthur was careful not to spend too much time with his husband. It would be easier to send Merlin back, if they remained distant to one another.

But then the letter with the proof of his marriage arrived. That morning, sitting in the library of his father's house, Arthur read the piece of paper at least seven times, still in disbelieve. Married. It was irrevocably true, every word that Merlin had said. Everything was in order.

And yet Arthur felt uneasy.

The piece of paper opened up even more questions that begged for answers. Why had he married Merlin? Had he wanted to protect him? Had he cared for him? Or had it simply been an act of defiance against his father?

There was no doubt that Merlin fired his blood, but could there have been more between them? Each time Arthur tried to reach back, the memories of Merlin remained clouded. Only events from long ago came to mind.

Arthur climbing a tree, laughing when Merlin tumbled from a branch. The way Merlin had felt in his arms, so many years ago. Those memories were easy to grasp while the new ones remained veiled.

He re-read the letter another time before his stepbrother Gwaine entered the library. The last time Arthur had seen his stepbrother, Gwaine had been sent away to Avalon House, one of the lesser estates. When was it? Arthur struggled to think.

January. It had been the end of January when Gwaine had gone. Another piece of snapped into place, granting Arthur a brief sense of satisfaction.

"When did father allow you to come home?" Arthur asked.

Gwaine's spending habits had always been a source of contention, and his father had removed his stepson from temptation's way.

"Two days ago. But you're the black sheep now, aren't you?"

"As it would seem. You heard nothing of my marriage, I guess?"

"Not a single word." Gwaine set across from Arthur, "But it won't be long before all of Camelot knows."

Arthur finding it difficult to concentrate. It should have been easy, sliding back into his old life here. Instead, the void of memories distracted him. So much had changed in just a few short months.

"Mother's still upset that you didn't let her mastermind your marriage."

Arthur grimaced at the thought.

"Is he that terrible?" Gwaine teased. "Your husband?" At Arthur's confusion, he added, "You're looking rather glum."

A mild way of putting it. Glum didn't begin to describe Arthur's frustration why he'd married Merlin. In the past week, he's spent little time at his own house, and Merlin seemed to avoiding him.

"Were you there, the night I-" Arthur almost said disappeared, but amended it. "Left? Or were you still at Avalon House?"

"I was there. Mother dragged me back to Camelot for a few days. She seemed to think you were going to announce an engagement with one of the female or male candidates your father had chosen, and demanded that I be there." Gwaine smirked. "You certainly destroyed father's plans for the next Pendragon dynasty. When mother mentioned your marriage at dinner last night, I thought father might need smelling salts."

"Tell me more what happened at the ball," Arthur said.

"You speak as though you don't remember it." Gwaine's gaze narrowed.

His stepbrother was far too perceptive. "I don't. It's like a cloud blocking out the past few months. I know what happened in January, and I remember waking up at the Great Dragon Estate a few weeks ago. Everything in between… seems lost. I'm trying to find out what happened."

Gwaine rubbed his face, nodding. "I'll do what I can to help. What do you want to know?"

"Anything." Arthur needed a starting place, somewhere to begin filling in the past.

"You were looking for your husband's brother, Will Emrys." Gwaine's face turned serious. "When you couldn't find him, you left. That was the last we heard. Father sent word to all the estates, but you were nowhere. We worried that something terrible had happened."

As far as Arthur was concerned, something terrible _had_ happened. The vicious scars upon his chest weren't imaginary wounds. And yet he had no memory of the pain. Whether they were caused by common thieves or something more sinister, he couldn't know.

"Someone tried to kill me," Arthur admitted. "And I don't know why."

A flash of concern crossed Gwaine's face before he mustered a teasing smile. "I'll admit, I've wanted to murder you a time or two. It isn't difficult to imagine."

"Damn… I'm being serious. And there's something else." Glancing at the door, Arthur loosened his tunic. "Would you have a look at this?" He revealed the inked skin on his back.

At the sight of the symbol, Gwaine's face grew concerned. "What the hell is that?"

"I haven't the faintest notion. Do I look like the sort to get a tattoo?"

Gwaine laughed, but there was uncertainty in it. "Perhaps you lost a wager."

Arthur arranged his tunic. "Perhaps." But he didn't think so. He turned the conversation to a more neutral topic, and his stepbrother filled him in on the details of a particular shipping investment.

"The profits from the cargo were stolen," Gwaine admitted. "We lost a great deal of money."

Arthur fetched a pen and paper and began taking notes. "What was the name of the ship?"

" _The Lady Valiant_."

At the mention of its name, Arthur had hoped for a flash of memory. Something that would point toward answers. Instead, there was nothing. He recalled making the investment, but nothing struck him as different from any other ship.

Arthur began jotting down names of the investors who might have been affected by the loss. Merlin's brother had also invested in _The Lady Valiant._ Somehow, Arthur was sure of it.

"Does anyone else know I am married?" Arthur asked suddenly, looking up from his list.

"Possibly," Gwaine replied. "The servants do talk. But father wants to keep silent about it."

If the servants knew, then it was likely that half of Camelot knew it by now. Arthur grimaced, just imagining the gossip. But right now finding answers to his questions are far more important.

"If you will excuse me." Arthur rose and bid his stepbrother farewell.

Before he could leave, Uther Pendragon entered the library. He raised his hand to halt Arthur. "Where are you going?"

He met his father's accusing eyes. "I am returning home to my husband."

"He cannot remain your husband for long," his father warned. "Merlin Emrys is an unsuitable husband. His family was penniless, and after that scandal-"

"Enough!" Arthur's fists curled, and he kept a firm rain upon his temper. "It's a legally binding marriage. You can do nothing to end it."

Arthur didn't know why he was defending Merlin or the impulsive move he'd made. A part of him still questioned whether he even wanted Merlin to remain at his side. Arthur hadn't decided whether he wanted a husband at all. But bloody hell, he'd never let his father know it.

Uther's face turned crimson with fury. "If you persist in this farce, I shall cut off your funds."

"I have investments of my own." Arthur kept his voice deliberately calm.

"Do not presume to introduce him into society as your husband. I am warning you. You will not like the consequences."

"Good day, father." Arthur brushed past the man, not bothering to hide his anger.

For now, Arthur would return home to Merlin. Now that he knew the truth, there were decisions to be made. Namely, whether or not he wanted to remain married to him.


	13. Chapter 13

Merlin strolled through the streets of Camelot, enjoying the late morning sunshine. Arthur had left him funds to purchase whatever he might need, but the coins made him uncomfortable. It reminded him of how much he was bound to Arthur. He truly had rescued his family, providing for Tristan and Freya. Merlin's throat constricted, even as he stiffened his spine.

He'd been so distraught when the men had delivered Will's body. And then to learn that his husband was missing, after being seen last with his lover… It had been too much to absorb. Merlin had lived in a state of numbness, not knowing whether Arthur was alive or dead.

 _I won't let myself fall under his spell again._

He'd been weak before, letting himself dream of Arthur. Merlin knew better now, didn't he? Arthur hadn't loved him. He didn't even remember him.

Merlin gripped his purse, pushing his mind back to the task at hand. Today he would go shopping. The children needed new clothes, and it would take his mind off his worries.

Stopping in front of some stores, he decided to purchase fabric for Freya and Tristan. The vast array of costly goods was dizzying.

He glanced behind him, to see if anyone had followed him. _Don't be silly_ , he told himself. Whoever had attacked him at the Great Dragon Estate wanted Will's belongings. He wouldn't come after them in Camelot. Even so, it made him uneasy to think of it. Best to carry out his shopping and return home as quickly as possible.

As he strolled along the street, a male voice shouted a warning. Horses reared, and someone pulled him out of harm's way. The driver gained control of the animals and pulled the carriage to a halt. Someone bumped against his saviour and he knocked Merlin into a patch of heavy mud.

"Beggin your pardon, Sir." The saviour turned crimson with shame, assisting Merlin to his feet.

A well-dressed gentleman emerged from the carriage. "By Gods, it's Mr Emrys. What on earth are you doing here?"

Merlin flushed as he saw Mr Mordred Knight. A few years ago, Merlin had attend a family gathering at the Knight's country estate. Afterwards, Mordred had made Merlin the object of his worship. He never failed to send tokens of his affection, a gesture that touched Merlin though he had no feelings towards Mordred.

"Mr Emrys, I am devastated by the accident. No amount of apology is sufficient. Please allow me to escort you home."

"No, really, I'm fine." Merlin tried to brush the mud from his clothes, but it only made matters worse.

"My dear Mr Emrys, it would delight me no end to have you call me Mordred."

Merlin was not at all comfortable with the idea. Sure it would only start up the courtship again. And now that he was married, Mr Knight needed to understand that it would be entirely inappropriate.

"Mr Knight, thank you, but I… believe you may not heard of my recent marriage. I am Earl Arthur Pendragon's husband now."

"Really?" His voice transformed, with a hint of irritation. "I hadn't heard."

Merlin's cheeks reddened, a he managed a small nod. "Yes. Well I really must be going now. It was good to see you again."

Mordred's face became a mask, as if he'd suddenly realized the angry tone. "Forgive me. It was rather a shock to hear of your marriage."

With a warm smile, Mordred, opened the door to bis barouche and bowed. "Please. Since it's my fault you fell into the mud, you must allow me to bring you home."

"I do not wish to soil the inside of your carriage. I'd best walk home. It isn't far."

"No, no… I wouldn't hear if it."

Mordred wasn't going to relent, and Merlin decided there could be no harm in accepting a ride, so he gathered up his belongings.

"Seeing you again does my heart good," Mordred insisted. "The beauty of you perfect face and the sweetness of you deportment have haunted my dreams."

Merlin nearly choked. He doubted if his husband would call his deportment sweet. And hadn't Mordred heard him when he'd said he was married? What were his intentions?

Mordred's smile faded into melancholy a moment later. "I should like to extend my sympathies upon the loss of your brother."

Merlin nodded slightly. It still hurts to much to think of Will. "Thank you."

"Were you… with him, the night he-" Mordred's voice broke off, embarrassed his question.

Merlin shook his head. "No. I found out when they brought his body, and-" Merlin broke off, not wanting to remember. "I-I'd rather not speak of that night."

"I understand. Please forgive me for asking." Mordred coughed and then asked Merlin for directions to the house.

Merlin told him the way, and within minutes they had arrived. Mordred's expressions darkened at the sight of his residence.

"It is my fervent hope that your husband brings you the greatest happiness. And if you need a friend, please know that I am your most humble servant."

"Mr Knight, it really has been good to see you again." Merlin said while getting out of the barouche.

Mordred gave him an answering smile, "The pleasure was mine, dear Mr Emrys.

Merlin watched him ride away, packages still clutched in his hand.

He nervously bit his lip as a servant opened the door for him. Inside, he found the Earl pacing the floors, a scowl lining his face.

"Where have you been?." He didn't wait for Merlin's reply before he frowned at the condition of his clothing. "What the hell happened to you? You look as though you've been rolling in the gutter."

"Perhaps I have," Merlin answered challenging. "Forgive me while I change my clothes." Arthur's arrogant tone annoyed him. Did he think he'd fallen in the mud on purpose?

Merlin thrust the packages in Arthur's arms, "Put these away, if you don't mind."

Arthur handed the packages to the waiting servant and followed Merlin upstairs.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Arthur reached over and turned the doorknob to Merlin's room. "We need to talk. Alone. I don't want the servants listening to our conversation."

The blood within Merlin's body grew cold. If Arthur wanted to be alone with him, the conversation would not be a good one. Obviously he would annul the marriage. All the breath seemed to leave Merlin's lungs at the thought of being alone again. Merlin hadn't forgotten the hard times they'd endured before.

Was there a way to convince Arthur to… keep him as his husband? As he followed him in the room, Merlin fought against his instincts to flee. Arthur's hand captured his, warm and imprisoning. Merlin kept his eyes wide open to hold back the emotions threatening.

Arthur had never claimed to love him, though he'd courted him over the course of a week. He'd vowed to take care of Merlin and his family, and it had been enough. But oh, Merlin had hoped for more. He'd wanted Arthur to love him, wanted to bring back the heady excitement from their adolescence. It hadn't happened. Even after the brief ceremony was done, Merlin noticed Arthur's distractedness. After another week, he'd returned to Camelot, claiming he would find Will and bring him home.

Arthur closed the door behind him. "I owe you an apology," he began. "I accused you of lying. But… you were right about our marriage."

Merlin didn't answer, his heart still uneasy at the thought of what Arthur would do. Surely he would end their union.

"Did… did you remember anything about it?" Merlin asked.

"No." Arthur neared him. Merlin forced himself not to move away, to let Arthur say what he wanted. "But I don't know if we should remain together. It isn't fair to you."

Merlin lowered his gaze, feeling so terribly alone. He wouldn't beg. No matter what happened.

"Merlin, please say something."

"What do you want me to say? That I never should have married you? That I was foolish to follow my heart instead of understanding that this was nothing but an arrangement?" A tear broke free, And Merlin pushed it away, furious with himself.

"I-I didn't want to hurt you."

Merlin wanted to strike out at something, to release the hot anger at himself. "I-I know."

Arthur reached out to touch Merlin's shoulder. The gentle brush of his hand brought shivers to Merlin's flesh. It was meant to bring comfort, nothing else. He could smell Arthur's shaving soap, and a part of Merlin wanted Arthur to draw nearer. Another part chided him for his weakness.

 _Arthur doesn't want you._

But Merlin found himself saying. "We should begin again,"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that we don't even know each other. You're already wanting to end a marriage that never really started."

Merlin's words silenced him. Arthur didn't respond, seemingly turning over Merlin's suggestion in his mind. The opportunity was here, laid bare. Merlin took a step forward. Then another, until he stood so close, they were almost in an embrace. Arthur reached out and took Merlin's hands in his.

"Come with me tonight, then. My family was invited to a ball." Arthur whispered.

The very thought of entering society made Merlin's knees tremble. He couldn't. Lord Uther Pendragon and society would cut him to shreds.

"I-I can't go." Merlin fumbled for an excuse. Arthur would never understand his fears. "It isn't proper for me to attend a public gathering. I'm still in half-mourning."

"You're hiding."

Of course he was, but Merlin wasn't about to admit that. "This is about respect for my brother."

"You've mourned him long enough." Arthur drew him closer, resting his hands upon Merlin's waist. "If you truly want to try again with our marriage, you cannot remain at home."

"I-I don't have suitable clothes. Everything I own-"

"I order suitable clothes for you and have them sent to the house."

Though Arthur's offer was kind, Merlin rather be flayed alive than attend the ball. If he ever choose to set foot in society, it would be on his terms, not Arthur's.

But Arthur appeared unaware of Merlin's fears. Instead, he touched gently his cheek. "I will see you this evening."


	14. Chapter 14

"Look at these." Anna, the wet-nurse, carried several boxes with her, smiling as she entered the parlour. She laid the boxes upon the sofa, bubbling with excitement. "The Earl sent you these, for the ball tonight."

Merlin reached inside the largest box and found a black tailcoat and a white dress shirt, both of the finest quality. He ran his fingers across the delicate fabric, it had been so long since he'd had new clothes of his own.

And yet, the idea of wearing them out in society made him feel sick. He'd never had a Season, didn't have the slightest idea what to do.

Opening the other boxes, Merlin found matching black shoes, a white necktie and silver cuff-links with the Pendragon crest engraved.

But Merlin could not attend the ball. It would only make Arthur more aware of his shortcomings. Arthur mistakenly believed that if he gave Merlin new pretty clothes and brought him into his world of affluence, Merlin would metamorphose.

 _No_ , Merlin thinks, _inside he would feel like the same old person._ And no one would forget his family's scandal, and they would be quick to shun him. And what if he happened upon Lord Uther Pendragon, he despised Merlin. No, that wasn't right. Merlin was nothing more than dust to him, something to be ignored and swept away. Only now, when he threatened his son's future, was Merlin a danger.

It chilled Merlin to think of it. He didn't fear his husband, but Lord Uther Pendragon's power was more greater than Arthur's. If Merlin attend the ball, he would invoke Uther's fury.

Merlin dismissed Anna and sat down, touching the delicate clothes once more with his fingertips. If only...

Arthur drummed his fingers against his thigh, as he watched the dancing crowd of people. He'd waited for over two hours, and there was still no sign of Merlin. He never should have agreed to go on without him. He'd claimed he needed more time to dress and take care of the children's wellbeing. Now it seemed Merlin had no intention of coming.

Beside him, a elderly woman sent him a quiet smile. He didn't return it. Though he would not humiliate her by avoiding her, Arthur simply could not encourage the woman's thoughts of his marriage.

And what of his own? Merlin claimed he'd wanted a new beginning. Arthur had invited him to attend, as a way of becoming better acquainted. Though he'd protest the event, Arthur had believed Merlin would be looking forward spending an evening together.

Instead, Merlin lied, remaining at home. This wasn't the old Merlin he was used to. He'd never been frightened of anything, a daredevil who had called him a prat. When had Merlin changed? What had happened?

Arthur had heard the whisperings about the family scandal surrounding his father's death. But had that truly been enough to transform Merlin?

Arthur thought about returning home, he wanted to understand why Merlin had married him - and he married Merlin. What if he kept him as his husband? Could they made the most of their arrangement?

Arthur rose from his chair, intending to find out. Before he could leave the room, his father blocked his path.

"The evening has not yet concluded." A threat underlined his father's tone.

"I'm aware of that," Arthur said, keeping his voice low. "But I have decided to return home to my husband."

"This impulsive wedding was a ridiculous idea. Any other man would never have done something so foolish without thinking of the consequences."

Then his father suddenly brightened, his attention focused behind Arthur. "Ah, Miss Elaine. Are you enjoying yourself?"

The young woman blushed, lowering her eyes and dropping into a curtsy. "Yes my lord. I'm enjoying the evening very much."

The silent message from Arthur's father said - _This is someone you should have married. She is far more suitable._

Arthur bowed politely and made his excuses to Miss Elaine. With a tight smile to his father, he departed.

Merlin was only in his breeches when Arthur opened the door to his room. With each step closer, Merlin took another step back.

"What are you doing here? This is my room. Y-You shouldn't be here!"

"Damn… I'm your husband. I've every right be here." Arthur's tone came out sharper than he's intended, but he was completely distracted by Merlin's state of undress.

"Why didn't you come tonight? I thought you wanted to begin again." Arthur reached out to his waist and turned Merlin to rest his back against his chest.

"I did- I mean, I do." Merlin lowered his chin. "But I couldn't go."

Merlin shuddered at Arthur's touch, trying to escape his embrace. Arthur lowered his mouth to Merlin's neck, not really caring how discomfited he was. He wanted to taste Merlin's skin, to know if it was as smooth as he suspected. At the touch of Arthur's lips, goose-flesh rose upon Merlin's skin.

"Arthur, please don't," he whispered.

But he kept Merlin trapped, using his mouth to trail a path of heat across his neck and shoulders.

"Why did you stay behind?" Arthur asked again.

"I told you. I'm mourning for my brother."

"I don't believe you. What are you afraid of?"

"I cannot be your husband in front of everyone else."

"Why?"

"Your father wouldn't allow it. Did you forget that he tossed us into the streets? What do you think he would have done tonight? Embarrassed both of us in front of everyone, that's what. I would never humiliate you like that."

Arthur didn't want to admit that Merlin was most likely correct. But he would have defended him, if anyone had dared to insult him. It was a matter of pride.

"You should have had more faith in me."

"There's nothing you could have done." Merlin turned to face him. "It's better for everyone if I just stay out of society."

"Then you've already given up, haven't you?" There wasn't any hope of starting over again if Merlin wasn't going to try. Arthur wouldn't force him to stay here against his will. "I'll send you back to your brother's home with the children. We'll end the marriage and go our separate ways."

"There's nothing for me to go back to. I can't take them home again. There's hardly any furniture, and I need money and food. Tristan has outgrown his shoes and he needs a new coat. Freya will need dresses, soon enough."

"I'll give you the funds you need." When Merlin remained silent, he prompted, "Isn't that what you want? Your freedom and a means of caring for them?"

Merlin shook his head and crossed the room to the door. With his hand resting on the knob, he said, "I want you to go."

Merlin's indecision made Arthur question what it was he truly meant. He needed to break through Merlin's shield of indifference, to find the Merlin he'd known before.

Arthur pulled Merlin's mouth to his, kissing him with all the pent-up frustration he felt. His lips were slightly open, and Arthur stole his mouth, tasting the warm sweetness of Merlin. Unexpected desire blasted through Arthur. Merlin tried to push him away, but within seconds his hands relaxed until he was kissing Arthur back. It was the innocent kiss of a man who had not been kissed in a long time.

He held Merlin in his arms, a gorgeous man who made Arthur lose his sense of reason the moment he touched him. Arthur drew Merlin against his body, moulding the base of his spine while he ached to claim Merlin as his. He cupped Merlin's firm backside, pressing himself against the juncture of his thighs. He drew away, his pulse pounding. Arthur wanted to strip Merlin bare and make love to him. They'd been married for nearly four months now, and he'd never seen his own husband naked.

"Do you still want me to go?" Arthur breathed against Merlin's mouth.

His face was flushed, his breathing unsteady. "Please. I-I can't bear it when you touch me."

Arthur let him go, unable to say anything. He didn't bother to look at Merlin before he slammed the connecting door shut.

Wrenching tears broke from Merlin, and he longed to throw something at the wall. It was just like before. Arthur had driven him into wild need, his body aching to receive him. If there were any way to leave Camelot, to hide elsewhere, he'd depart immediately. Being here with Arthur only dredged up the feelings he'd tried to bury.

Arthur wanted to share his bed. Merlin knew it, and even now, he wanted to feel Arthur's body against his. But it would be wrong. To him, it would be nothing more than an act of passion. While to Merlin, it would reopen the past.

More than ever, Merlin wished he'd never married Arthur. He hadn't thought about the future, of what it would mean to be the husband of Earl Arthur Pendragon. He would have to host parties, to assume the duties of being his husband. Arthur's position demanded more than Merlin could manage.

He didn't want to leave Arthur, though it was the right thing to do. He deserved a better husband, or even a wife, than Merlin could be. With a sigh, Merlin finished undressing and donned his nightclothes. And tried not to think of his husband in the next room.

Arthur tossed back a second whiskey, his fury rising. What did Merlin mean, he couldn't bear his touch? Merlin's rejection cut him deeper than the knife wound across his ribs. Tonight Merlin had proved that he didn't want Arthur at all. As a husband, Arthur was failing miserably.

What would it be like to have Merlin willing? Arthur pictured him full of fire, as passionate as he. Long ago, it had been that way between them. A flash of memory took hold, and he saw a vision of Merlin laughing, pulling Arthur into his arms.

A cloak of guilt shadowed the memory. Arthur had given Merlin the security of his name, an arranged marriage to bring him out of the hardships Merlin was enduring. In return, Merlin had helped him to break free of his father's interference. He'd asked only one thing of Arthur - that he would find his brother and bring him home again.

And in that, Arthur had failed.

Now… what he didn't know was whether or not to remain married to Merlin. The simplest solution was to let him go. Merlin deserved a second chance at happiness.

Merlin intrigued him in a way no man had before. He couldn't reconcile the two parts of him - the headstrong adolescent boy and the fiercely protective man who was terrified of society.

And then, it struck Arthur why. Merlin hadn't received the necessary training a Baron's son deserved, he hadn't had the years of etiquette lessons. From his own mouth, Merlin had confessed his reluctance to embarrass Arthur in public.

What if he gave him what Merlin had been missing? Perhaps it would atone for what Arthur had done.

In the morning, he would send word to the men's tailor's that Merlin was to be outfitted with the best clothing to befit his rank. And as an afterthought, Arthur decided to order new shoes for Tristan and clothing for Freya.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hope you don't mind, but this one's a little shorter than the others. But it's more fun to sit in the sun and relax. Ehehe…**

The first present arrived on Monday. Arthur disregarded the box filled with finest sweets. By Friday a dozen of confectionery and different flowers had arrived. They weren't from him.

What the hell was going on? Had his husband an admirer?

Arthur discovered Merlin arranging the blooms in the parlour. He wore the clothes he hated; brown seedy breeches and the blue tunic with the frayed hem. Why he insisted on wearing the old shabby clothes instead of the new ones Arthur brought him, he didn't know.

"Who sent you the presents?" Arthur asked impatiently.

Merlin's cheeks flushed. "Mordred- I mean, Mr Knight did."

Mordred Knight? Damn it all, now what was that little weasel doing in Camelot? Arthur had never liked Knight, even when his father had invited their family to share in a country dance or evening supper.

Arthur glanced at one of the cards. "Good God! What is this?" he demanded. The verse, on the card, held some of the most ridiculous lines he'd ever read.

"Poetry, I believe. And… I like it." Merlin shoot back.

Had his husband lost his mind? _He_ had sent him the finest clothes that he still hadn't worn. But when Mordred Knight sent him confectionery, flowers and poetry, Merlin was beaming.

Not likely!

"You will not accept presents from other admirers." Arthur grabbed the bouquet of flowers and tossed them in the hearth. When the blossoms scattered with a soft thump, he felt better.

Merlin sighed. "I told Mr Knight I had married you. But I've known Mordred for years, and he's not a man who abandons a courtship easily. I suppose you don't remember him from when we grew up together."

"Oh, I remember him well enough, and if he doesn't cease this nonsense, I'll shove the damned presents down his throat." Arthur spat angrily.

Merlin shrugged. "It's harmless, really. He told me… what was it? He's adoring me from afar."

"What utter rubbish!"

"I think… it's rather flattering, actually. Like an unrequited lover, pining for me. And, I suppose I should keep my options open."

"Hell, what do you mean by that?"

"Well… In case you divorce me, and I decide to remarry."

"Absolutely not!"

Merlin laughed. "Mm… looks like you're jealous."

"Of course not." It was only a moment later that Arthur realised Merlin had been teasing him. "I could do far better than him at courting."

"I wouldn't know."

Arthur tried to make sense of that remark. "I-I courted you before I wed you, didn't I?"

Merlin shook his head. "Not really."

"I must have brought you a gift."

Merlin held up his wedding ring. "You gave me this."

"And in all the time I spent with you after I returned to the Great Dragon Estate, I-I never gave you anything?"

Merlin's face turned pitying. "It wasn't that long, Arthur. Only a week before you proposed. Then after we got married, you left me for Camelot."

"I still don't understand. Why did you marry me if I gave you nothing except the ring?"

Merlin lifted his shoulders in a shrug. "You rescued me from the life I had. And we were friends, once."

"Once?" Damn, Merlin spoke as if that were no longer the case.

"It's been a long time, Arthur."

Arthur took Merlin's hand and raised it to his lips. Pressing a kiss against his husband's pale skin, he held Merlin's fingers far longer than was proper.

Merlin eyed him with suspicion. "And just what are you doing?"

Arthur gave him a wicked smile. "Maybe courting you."


	16. Chapter 16

Freya's little hand grasped Merlin's long slim fingers and, with a determined look, trod her first wobbly steps around the parlour. Merlin helped the baby balance, unable to stop his smile when Freya reached out to clutch the sofa. There was something magical about watching a child learn to walk.

A light knock sounded at the door. "Yes?" Merlin turned just as the door opened.

Anna carried a large box of sweets, and of course they were from Mordred. The affection made Merlin uncomfortable. Merlin pointed at the table, "Please set it down over there, Anna."

"Uhm… There was another gift for you as well," Anna added. The wet nurse folded her hands behind her back and rocked to her heels.

Another one? Merlin held back his irritation, wishing Mordred would just stop. Like a clinging vine, he was smothering him.

Anna left the room and returned a moment later with a simple wrapped packet. Merlin carefully removed the wrap and smiled. This one was not from Mordred… it was from his husband. A book about herbs and their medical usage.

Arthur had always teased him about his interest in herbs and their effect, when he was a boy. Merlin smiled remembering it. It hadn't mattered then that Arthur was an Earl. He'd been the first boy Merlin had kissed, the one he'd fallen completely in love with. Arthur had been everything to him.

And now? He didn't know. A note of melancholy drifted over Merlin, trouble encircling his spirits. He'd made such a mess of things.

Abruptly Merlin seized the box with sweets and threw it into the hearth. To encourage any other man was wrong. He was using Mordred to make Arthur jealous, and that wasn't fair.

Freya began to fuss, so Merlin picked her up and took her over to Anna. The nursemaid opened her arms, and Freya snuggled in, her eyes drooping shut. Merlin's heart caught at the sight of his niece. Freya and Tristan were his children now. He would do anything for them.

Their future rested on his shoulders, and he had to ensure that they were cared for. His nerves wound tighter. What if society gossips resurrected the past scandal? They would not have forgotten his father's unspeakable death. Merlin couldn't bear it if those secrets were revealed.

The society would ply him with questions, questions he didn't want to answer. Merlin was desperately afraid of the glittering world far beyond his reach.

Playful shouts of delight sounded from Tristan's room. When Merlin reached the door, he peered inside. The room was in shambles. His nephew had stripped his bedding from the mattress, and one sheet dangled from a scone upon the wall.

"Ahoy, sailor!" Tristan yelled as Merlin walked inside. Tristan's hair flopped across his shining eyes as he bounced on the bed. "I'm a pirate!"

"Mm… Are you?" Merlin reached up to untie the sheet, which had served as a main sail. "Do not tie these to the gas lamps, sweetie. Else you'll set fire to us all."

A gleam of mischief crossed Tristan's face. "I could burn the house down. Then we'd be rid of the Earl."

"Tristan, how dare you say such a thing?" Merlin scolded. "Without Arthur, we'd be out on the streets."

"That's okay… I want to live on the streets. Tristan said, slashing his shoe toward Merlin, as though it were a sword. "We could rob the rich and give to the poor," he said. "We'd be outlaws like Robin Hood."

"And were would you sleep at night?" Merlin asked, taking the shoe away.

"Hah… I'd sleep in a tree, of course."

Tristan bobbed his head again, falling backwards on the bed, his arms and legs spread wide. The battered leather shoes suddenly caught Merlin's attention. Tristan had used one as a sword while he wore new shoes made of fine leather.

"Where did you get these?" Merlin asked.

"They were here this morning upon my bedside cabinet." Tristan snatched a pair of tin soldiers and began a mock fight. Then he paused a moment. "Didn't you buy them?"

Merlin shook his head. Yet he knew who had bought them - Arthur. He really had been listening to him last night. The thoughtful deed meant more than Merlin wanted to admit.

Tucking the sheets back on the bed, Merlin said, "It's a lovely day. Shall we go for an outing?"

Tristan beamed at Merlin's suggestion and within moments helped him put the room to rights.

After donning his cloak, Merlin noticed Tristan struggled with the buttons of a new coat. The black wool was perfect for a boy of his size, and Tristan put on a new straw hat. He beamed at Merlin as he showed off his finery. Once again Merlin knew who had brought them - Arthur.

Merlin tried to push away the feeling gathering around his heart like a warm blanket. He followed Tristan outside, wondering how to reconcile himself to this new side of his husband.

Arthur rubbed his eyes tiredly. He'd spent hours poring over ledgers in his study. Endless accountings of estate figures, harvest yields and rents paid lay before him in his own familiar script. He had the sudden urge to set it all on fire.

He hadn't come any closer to finding a reason why anyone had attacked him. There were no records about _The Lady Valiant,_ regarding any sort of stolen profits. It was as if the ship had never existed.

Arthur wanted to believe that the scars he bore were nothing more than the result of common cut-throats. But the inked skin on his neck and the missing memories suggested otherwise.

 _Start at the beginning,_ Arthur thought. He struggled to remember why he'd left Camelot. Had he merely needed an escape from his life? Had he run away, intent on avoiding his father's interference? Or had Merlin's brother asked him to come? Will was an acquaintance, not a friend. But Arthur suspected that perhaps there was a connection between himself and Merlin's brother.

Closing his eyes, Arthur struggled to remember. He inhaled slowly, trying to keep his mind relaxed. He allowed his imagination to wander, and it settled on an older memory.

 _It had been winter, and a seventeen-year-old Merlin was shoving handfuls of snow down Arthur's collar. Arthur had thrown him down upon the hillside, both of them laughing as he smashed snow into Merlin's own face. Merlin had flung his arms around him, and Arthur's body had risen to Merlin's innocent call. For a brief, frozen moment, Merlin had waited for Arthur to lean down._

 _Arthur had kissed Merlin's cool mouth, a touch that left him reeling. When Merlin pulled back, he smiled. Then he'd shoved Arthur's face back into the snow, until his clothes were sodden._

The vision faded, and though he fought to reach one of the hidden memories, Arthur couldn't grasp anything.

Was Merlin still the same laughing boy he'd known? Arthur couldn't deny that he wanted him in his bed. He wanted to peel away each layer of clothes until he found that man beneath.

Merlin had a passionate nature, one that heated Arthur's blood just to look at him. But he was afraid. Although he had thanked him for the book and the clothes, Merlin seemed apprehensive, as though he expected anything to vanish.

Perhaps it would. Everything about their union had been a mistake. And Arthur still didn't knew if there was any chance of a successful marriage between them.


	17. Chapter 17

A strong knock sounded at the library door. Uther Pendragon disliked being disturbed, especially when he'd told the servants to keep everyone out.

"Enter," he commanded in a sharp tone.

Frustration curled up within him at the sight of his son. He had tried reasoning with Arthur, tried to make his son understand why he could not remain married to Merlin Emrys. The man knew nothing of manners and etiquette, had only his birthright as reference. As a man who had never been presented in society, he was utterly unsuitable. But Arthur did not grasp the true meaning of duty, not the way he should. Uther feared it was too late. The scandal of divorce far outweighed the scandal of wedding someone inappropriate.

His son remained standing, an inconvenient behaviour because it forced him to look up. "I came to ask you about the night I left Camelot, several months ago."

Uther stood to meet his son eye to eye. He leaned upon the desk,taking some of the weight off his bad leg.

"When? That time when you ran off to marry an improper young man? Or when you disappeared from the ball, two weeks later?" Uther made no effort to conceal his irritation. Arthur had a duty to behave in a manner befitting the family name.

"The second time," Arthur responded. "I have no memory of what else happened that night when I was hunting Will Emrys. Did you hear anything about it, after I disappeared?"

"No. Nor do I care about the reasons why you shirked your responsibilities."

"A man tried to murder me," Arthur stated. "And unless you help me to understand what happened that night, it could happen again."

Uther didn't believe it. Likely his son had run into thieves, if anything. "Exaggeration does not become you."

At that, Arthur pulled up his tunic and revealed a deep red scar. "Damn father… Does this look like exaggeration?"

The jagged wound struck Uther silent. Arthur continued talking about theories of what had happened and talk of danger, but Uther heard none of the words. He saw only the physical evidence that someone had tried to take his son away from him. The emptiness of loss shadowed him as he thought of Morgana, his daughter. A father was not meant to outlive his child. With effort, Uther forced his thoughts back to the present.

Arthur added, "I intend to lure him out into the open so I may deal with him. I want your help, father. And-" Arthur narrowed his gaze "-I expect you not to meddle with my marriage. I would rather concentrate on finding my enemy than worrying about what you've done to Merlin."

Steeling himself, Uther asked. "What do you wish to know?"

"Tell me of my dealings with Merlin's brother. I remember Will in a vague manner, but aside from his gambling habits I don't recall much."

Will Emrys had been a desperate man who'd spend most of his hours at the gaming tables instead of earning a proper living.

"The man had no money," Uther answered. "Disgraceful really, the way he gambled every penny."

"Did he owe any debts to me?" Arthur asked.

"If you loaned him money, it was charity. Will Emrys never repaid any debts."

"I'll have to bring him out into the open then," Arthur murmured.

"Who?" Obviously his son was not speaking of Will Emrys, since the man was dead and buried.

"The man who's trying to kill me." Arthur simply stated.

Uther let out the breath he'd been holding. Words of protest died upon his lips, smothered by denial. "What do you intend to do?"

"I want to host a ball and invite all of our acquaintances," Arthur said, Grimly, he added, "If someone is trying to murder me, I want him to know I am back in Camelot."

Uther did not care for the tactic at all, though he recognised the logic. "What if he tries again?"

"Then father… I will be ready."

ooOooOoo

In the past three nights, Arthur had seemed more distracted than usual. It was starting to bother Merlin, and he wished he could somehow make things better between them. But Merlin was afraid… afraid that Arthur would turn him away.

He sometimes woke up in the middle of the night, reaching towards the other side of the bed. The sheets remained empty and cold. The connecting door between their rooms might as well have been made of stone.

This afternoon, Merlin's fingers itched to do something, so he retreated to the kitchen. The familiar warmth of the space and the aroma of freshly baked bread relaxed him. He shooed the servants out and gathered ingredients for a pound cake, creaming butter into sugar and cracking each egg into the bowl.

Arthur had always teased him in their youth about his hobby, _"You're such a girl Merlin",_ but the act itself always calmed Merlin down.

With each broken eggshell, his uneasiness grew. Though Arthur behaved as though nothing were wrong, that they were friends, it was starting to wear upon Merlin's nerves. They shared meals and conversation together, speaking about dull topics such as the weather.

But what Merlin really wanted to know was when Arthur would kiss him again. If he would kiss him again.

Now, more than ever, he was beginning to believe Arthur, that he hadn't been with his lover. Not in all the weeks since he'd returned had he spent time with another man or woman. The realisation embarrassed him.

Merlin had blamed Arthur for his brother's death, but that wasn't fair. He couldn't be with Will at every moment. And though he might never know what had happened that night, Merlin needed to let go of the anger or else their marriage would not have a chance.

The door to the kitchen opened, and Arthur entered. "I thought I might find you here." A cheeky smile curled around his lips as he thought, _such a girl, Merlin_.

Merlin's knuckles curled over the wooden spoon as he met Arthur's gaze. "What is it?"

Arthur's eyes watched him with interest. Merlin became aware of just how warm the kitchen was, and moisture dampened the back of his neck. Arthur was eying him the way he might stare at a piece of chocolate before he devoured it.

"Do I need an excuse to speak with my husband?"

Merlin cracked another egg into the bowl, the shells crumbling under his shaking hands. "N-No."

Honestly, what was the matter with him? He hadn't meant to add that egg. To cover his flustered mien, Merlin focused on blending the batter.

"Really… Ten Eggs?" Arthur remarked, glancing at the fallen shells. "I suppose we should fashion a hen house in here somewhere." he teased.

"It's for a pound cake," Merlin said. "And-and-I've some strawberries, too."

"Well… I look forward to tasting them."

The deep timbre of Arthur's voice suggested he had other items in mind for tasting. Arthur reached in to taste the batter. His finger disappeared inside his mouth, and, God help him, it only reminded Merlin of Arthur's sensual kiss. Merlin imagined Arthur's mouth capturing his, asking him to bend, to yield to him. Closing his eyes, Merlin wrenched his attention back to the cake batter.

Arthur dipped his finger into the mixture again and held it out to Merlin. "Want a taste?"

The idea of licking Arthur's finger made all the blood rush to Merlin's face. "N-No, thank you."

"Too bad." Arthur's finger disappeared into his mouth.

Oh, he knew exactly what he was doing, embarrassing Merlin in such a manner. Merlin turned his back, but Arthur trapped him against the table. His hand surrounded Merlin's waist, and Arthur drew him against his chest. Merlin could smell the spicy male scent of Arthur, of shaving soap and pine.

"I'm hosting a ball tomorrow night, at Pendragon House."

Merlin was completely distracted by Arthur's physical presence. "O-Okay."

"It isn't necessary for you to attend. You may remain here, instead." Arthur released Merlin, and he turned his attention back to the cake.

"Oh."

It wasn't necessary? Confusion filled Merlin up inside, and he didn't know what to think. This ball was a second chance, after he'd declined the previous invitation. Why wouldn't Arthur want him there?

Merlin's stomach tightened with fear. Did Arthur still want him to remain his husband? He didn't know Arthur's intentions at all.

If Merlin were a better husband, he'd attend the ball at Arthur's side. He'd face his fears and fight for their marriage. But Merlin hadn't the slightest idea how to conduct himself. It was impossible.

Not to mention Arthur didn't want him there. No, that wasn't right. He'd said it wasn't necessary for him to attend. But what if he did come?

 _Think Merlin_. There was only one day. Not enough time to prepare himself. His mind whirled while he began pouring the batter into greased pans. He picked up a tin of candied almonds for the cake tops, and Arthur filched one. Out of instinct, Merlin's hand covered Arthur's to stop him.

Arthur halted, amusement in his eyes. "What? Am I not allowed to have one? Or did you want it for yourself?"

Arthur's teasing startled Merlin, and he didn't protest when Arthur slipped the candied almond into his mouth. The act made Merlin's body tighten, made him want to drag Arthur closer for a kiss. But no, Merlin couldn't do that.

"I'll see you at dinner." Arthur whispered in his ear, then took a handful of candied almonds with him, striding away.

Another dinner, another conversation. Another empty bed. Merlin closed his eyes. It was time to take a chance on what he really wanted.


	18. Chapter 18

Someone was following him. Though it seemed an unreasonable suspicion with all the hired hacks and other carriages out on the road, Arthur couldn't shake the heavy premonition.

The evening air held the coolness of spring, and a low fog obscured the road. Flickering gas lights shone through the mist, while another carriage drew closer. Arthur ordered his driver to take another route, the man was one of the newer servants sent over from Pendragon House, but he was a friendly enough sort.

They rode in silence for half a mile, perhaps more. No one appeared to be traversing the same path. In time, Arthur was forced to admit he'd been wrong. When they reached an area towards the Camelot lake, the carriage slowed to a stop.

"What... Take me to Pendragon House," Arthur commanded.

Instead of following his command, the driver turned. A revolver glinted, and out of raw instinct, Arthur threw himself sideways. The shot exploded inches from where he'd been sitting.

 _Damn_. Survival instincts took over, and Arthur seized the assassin's arm. Muscles burned and perspiration slid down his forehead as he held the revolver away. The man's finger eased across the trigger, ready to fire.

Arthur slammed his head against the man's nose, twisting his body to gain control of the weapon. Caught off balance, the driver lurched forward, and Arthur fired the gun. Blood spread across the driver's shirt, and he slumped against the door.

With a dead man lying at the bottom of his carriage, Arthur stilled. Though outwardly he showed no sign of exertion, his pulse pounded with energy. He had hoped to draw his enemy out, and now it had happened.

He felt no remorse for the assassin's death. Nor did Arthur believe this was the same man who had tried to murder him back several months ago, likely the man was only a hired killer.

Arthur had been careless, too trusting, and it had nearly cost him his life. Arthur withdrew his handkerchief, wiping the blood from his hands. He had achieved his goal, it seemed. His attacker now knew he was back in Camelot. And he wanted Arthur dead.

ooOooOoo

Merlin searched the glittering ballroom for a sign of his husband. He wore the black tailcoat with the white dress shirt and necktie Arthur had given him. Anna had taken care of his hair, but it still looks a little bit messy.

For a moment, Merlin hesitated at the door, afraid of disgracing himself by heaving up the contents of his stomach. He had arrived separately from Arthur, since he hadn't told him of his intention to attend.

Already he was breaking so many rules of good manners, that's for sure. Nervously, Merlin twisted his hands, terrified of what they would say. He recognised Cedric, the servant who had tossed him into the streets some weeks ago. Across the ballroom, Merlin saw Lady Helena Pendragon signal to the servant, shaking her head slightly. The acerbic feeling in Merlin's stomach worsened as Arthur's stepmother did not come forward to welcome him.

The servant stared at him though he were an unwanted insect. "I do not believe you were invited, sir."

Merlin struggled to maintain his composure. A deep flush suffused his cheeks, and he forced himself to hold his head high. _Do not let them see your feelings._

"I am Earl Arthur Pendragon's husband," he murmured. "I rather think my husband would be offended you if you deny me entrance, don't you?"

Where was Arthur? Merlin looked around, but did not see him anywhere. Without him as an escort, Merlin felt the curious eyes of the crowd watching him. A wall. He needed a wall where he could blend into the background and await his husband.

Then, a voice rescued him, calling out, "Mr Emrys! It is such a delight to see you again."

Mordred Knight beamed as though Merlin had handed him the sun on a silver plate. He wore a black frock-coat with a matching waistcoat, a white dress shirt and black trousers.

"Mr Knight, it is a pleasure to see you as well."

"But where is your husband? Surely you did not come alone?"

Before Merlin could fabricate an explanation, Mordred waved his hand. "Well... Please allow me to be your escort. It would be an honour."

"Well, actually, I-"

"Did you like the presents I sent to you?" Mordred interrupted.

Before Merlin could answer, Mordred held up a hand. "No. If they were not to your taste, I would rather not know."

"They were… quite lovely, but really, you shouldn't-"

"Ah perfect! I shall see to it that you receive more this week. I intend to woo your heart yet."

"No! You won't." The sharp voice of Arthur intruded. He wore all black, except for the snowy white cravat that was impeccably tied.

Mordred jerked with surprise at the Earl's unexpected arrival, but he quickly recovered. "Earl Pendragon. It has been many years, has it not?"

"It has. Thankfully."

Merlin couldn't believe Arthur's rude behaviour, but at last he managed to say, "Mr Knight, I am grateful for your offer, but now that my husband is here, I do not need an escort."

With a false cough Mordred said, "Mr Emrys, perhaps I should be going."

"An excellent idea," Arthur interrupted. "And stop sending presents." he added.

After Mordred beat a hasty departure, Merlin hissed, " That wasn't very nice."

Arthur didn't seem to care. "Why are you here?" His voice was edged with anger, cutting down Merlin's fragile courage.

Merlin stared at one of the potted plants, taken aback by Arthur's tone. "You said it wasn't necessary for me to come, not that you didn't want me here. Should I return home?"

"We'll need to talk first. Meet me by the stone urns near the garden."

Arthur did not wait for a response, but strode away. Merlin glanced around, and saw several people staring at him, whispering. He didn't know what stories were coursing around Camelot, but Merlin was sure their gossip was not at all flattering. One of the gentleman and his wife stared at him, before turning their back. It cut Merlin apart to see it, but he didn't know if his father's scandal or his marriage was the reason.

Merlin waited endless minutes, trying to avoid notice. Eventually, he made his way to the terrace and located the stone urns Arthur had mentioned. The light fragrance from verbena drifted from the soil.

Arthur emerged from the shadows, gesturing. Merlin moved forward until he stood beside a tall boxwood. From the ballroom, no one would see him speaking to his husband.

Arthur lowered his voice so as not to be heard. "Someone tried to kill me tonight just before the ball. He took the place of my driver. I left his body near the lake and alerted the authorities."

Though Arthur had tried to push the memory out of his mind, it lingered. The smell of gunpowder, the slick feeling of a man's lifeblood, haunted him. It intensified Arthur's need to understand why his life was in danger. And he regretted bringing Merlin into this.

"W-What? I thought the danger was over. Why would anyone want you dead?"

"I have my suspicions. It may be related to a shipping venture I made several months ago."

"What does that have to do with the attacks?"

"According to Gwaine, the investment was a loss. All of the cargo profits were stolen. Your brother was involved with the shipment as well."

A guilty look crossed Merlin's face. "Will did nothing wrong."

"I did not accuse him. But the man who murdered your brother is likely the same person who is trying to kill me." There are too many connections, and Arthur needed to fit the pieces together before the man could strike again.

"I thought you said he was dead?"

"I don't think it's over. He was a hired man, likely."

Merlin took a deep breath, his eyes cast downwards and he said in a low voice. "Someone attacked me as well. Just after you left for Camelot, while I was at the Great Dragon Estate."

Merlin's words stunned him. Arthur listened to his explanations, while his mind seized the logistics. Why hadn't Merlin told him sooner? Damn it all, he was his husband. Arthur had the right to know when someone was threatening those under his protection.

"Did… Did he hurt you?"

"No. He pushed me down, but that was all."

Arthur's fist clenched, along with his gut. "Did you speak of this to anyone else?"

"Only you." For a long moment, he stared at Arthur, Merlin's face bathed in the moonlight.

"Damn… I cannot protect you if you keep holding secrets from me." Arthur's voice sounded more irritated than he'd intended. "You should have told me about the attack."

Arthur studied Merlin for a long moment, his pale skin sheens in the moonlight and he looks rather dashing in his black tailcoat.

"W-Why are you looking at me that way?" Merlin whispered.

Arthur palmed Merlin's waist and pressured him toward the darkness. Without a word, he pulled Merlin against the boxwood. Merlin's breath hitched, his shoulders rising.

"I think you know why." Arthur's own breathing grew harsh, but he continued the game. Teasing Merlin. Tempting him. Leaning close, Arthur kissed the soft spot beside Merlin's ear.

"A-Arthur-"

Arthur brushed his mouth against Merlin's cheek, moving towards his lips. Before Merlin could protest, Arthur stole his mouth, tasting the sweetness of the boy Merlin had once been. And the man, who was slowly captivating Arthur's heart.

"You kissed me like this when we were younger," Arthur breathed. "Do you remember?"

"Of Course," Merlin whispered.

When Arthur tried to kiss him again, Merlin stepped back. "D-Do they know about our marriage?"

"Probably," Arthur acceded. "I've heard the gossips whispering."

"And what will you tell them."

" 's the best they think I didn't want a husband. It will protect you from my enemies."

Had Arthur struck Merlin in the face, it couldn't have hurt any worse. "Y-You want me to go back inside, letting them think I trapped you into marriage?" Merlin disentangled himself, stepping free from Arthur's embrace. "No, thank you."

It wasn't what Arthur had meant at all. "Just stay away from my side for tonight, Merlin. Let me worry about the details."

"And that very small detail that you _chose_ to marry me?"

"It would not be for long," Arthur added. "You need only keep out of society until the man is caught. After that, I'll reveal everything."

"Don't make me a part of your games, Arthur." Merlin took another step backwards. "If you won't admit the truth, then don't cast the blame upon me. I'd just as soon keep our marriage a secret, if it's all the same to you." Merlin strode away from Arthur, not looking back.

But it was far too late for secrets. Arthur let Merlin go, biding his time. Tonight, when they were alone, Arthur would make his husband understand. And perhaps then, he'd demonstrate exactly what he wanted.

Merlin. In his bed.


	19. Chapter 19

Merlin shared another conversation with Mordred and endured the fascinated glances of strangers. Beneath his posture and masked smile, Merlin was drowning inside. His husband was tearing him apart, one moment making Merlin feel hope, and then another one pretending he didn't exist.

Merlin did want Arthur back in his life… of course he did, but not as his convenient husband. Not as a man cast aside whenever Arthur choose. If Arthur could not acknowledge him, Merlin didn't want him at all.

Mordred ended the conversation, and he departed to pay his respects to their hostess, Merlin meanwhile stood among a group of young people. Beyond polite responses, they made no further conversation. It was as though Lord Uther Pendragon had branded Merlin as an Untouchable. Likely the only reason he had been not removed from the ballroom was due to Merlin's avoidance of Arthur.

A bitter taste rose in Merlin's mouth. Arthur had said it was to protect him, and maybe it was true. Arthur's earlier revelation had shaken Merlin. A man had tried to murder him, and Merlin hadn't let himself think about it. If that man had succeeded, Merlin truly might have been widowed this night.

A coldness slid beneath his skin, like a blade. Merlin didn't want to think of being alone again. Not after all that happened.

Later Merlin stumbled into Lady Mercia. The grey-haired matron wore a saffron silk gown that made her look like a large dandelion.

"Ah… Mr Merlin Emrys. What a surprise to see you here." Lady Mercia studied Merlin with eyes eager to pry out the story.

"Lady Mercia," Merlin responded with a slight nod. He remembered his mother speaking of the dowager Viscountess. One of the most rumour-mongers in society, she could shred a person's reputation faster than a pair of scissors.

"After your father's and brother's tragedy, why, I can hardly believe you are here. Such a scandal what happened."

Merlin said not a word, but the barb had struck true. Lady Mercia knew it, too.

"And you captured Earl Arthur Pendragon." The Dowager shook her head in disbelief. "I can hardly believe he would marry someone such as yourself."

"We are married, yes." Though the matron was fishing for more information, Merlin refused to give it. He searched the ballroom, desperately hoping for an escape.

"Well-," Lady Mercia paused, her gaze sweeping over Merlin. "-I do not wish to be the bearer of bad news, but I know you would wish to put the stories to rest. They are saying that you were caught in a compromising situation, and the Earl wed you to preserve your family honour."

"That… is not the truth!" Merlin clenched his fists, trying hard to hold back his temper. "And I don't believe our marriage is any of your business!"

Lady Mercia stared back as though Merlin had slapped her. With a huff of air she continued. "Well… I was only trying to help. You will want to put the stories to rest, won't you? And how can we ever do that, if you won't tell us _why_ the Earl married you?"

"Well then… You may ask him that himself." Merlin's voice came out harsher than he'd intended, and he tried in vain to escape Lady Mercia.

"Now, now. There's no need to take offence." Lady Mercia placed herself directly in Merlin's path. "But I did think you should be warned. No one else would dare to tell you about this, but I should hate for you to have your feelings hurt. It would be a most awkward situation."

Merlin wasn't sure which of his feelings hadn't already been crushed by the woman's meddling gossip, but he waited.

"The Earl intended to wed Miss Vivian Bannister, long before he met you. This scandalous marriage has quite broken her heart." Lady Mercia fanned herself, tut-tutting. With a sly smile, she added, "You really shouldn't have chased after the Earl, you know. It speaks of ill breeding."

Merlin gritted his teeth. "I never chased after him."

Lady Mercia offered a sympathetic smile. "It isn't obvious to you, I'm sure. But the Earl has kept his distance from you tonight, hasn't he?"

Merlin squared his shoulders. "He did not know I planned to attend." Merlin counted to five, calming down his nerves. Losing his temper in front of the Pendragon household would not precisely endear him to the Lord. He managed a nod. "Now, if you'll excuse me…"

The matron shook her head sadly, and with a pat to Merlin's shoulder, she sailed across the ballroom to find another target.

Merlin sighed, from the stares directed toward him, no doubt most people sided with Lady Mercia in believing that Arthur was embarrassed by him. He watched his husband mingle with the guests and dance with simpering young ladies and gentlemen vying for Arthur's attention. His husband didn't look at Merlin once, though he watched Arthur's every move. It hurt to see him pretending as though Merlin didn't exist.

Merlin went over to stand by the refreshment table, wishing he had never opened his mouth.

"I suppose you think to worm your way into our lives," a deep voice said.

It was his father-in-law. And here, Merlin had thought the evening could not get much worse. He had come to finish Merlin off and pick his teeth with Merlin's shattered feelings.

Lovely. Just what Merlin needed.

Lord Uther Pendragon stood just behind him, behaving as though he weren't speaking to Merlin. But Merlin knew the remark was aimed at him.

"You don't like me," Merlin said, keeping his voice calm. "I am aware of it."

"You don't belong here. You could never dream of being a part of us."

"Hide the silver, is that it?" Merlin turned to face Uther and offered a small smile. "Let me reassure you. I am not after Arthur's wealths."

"You've blinded him. He isn't thinking clearly."

"I have not blinded him, my lord. Nor will I be a target for your aimed insults. I am your son's husband. You had best get used to it."

It would have been a rather grand exit, had Merlin's hands not been shaking so badly he had to set down his glass of water. But no matter what, he promised himself he would not lose his temper.

Especially when he caught the triumphant smile of Lady Mercia.


	20. Chapter 20

Merlin held a plate of strawberry cream moulded in the shape of a flower. He gripped the plate hard enough to stop his shaking hands. Tonight had beyond his worst nightmares. Not only had he endured the stares and gossip, but his own husband had abandoned him. Would this _damned_ evening never end?

Merlin cast a longing look towards the door, hoping to escape. Perhaps if he kept his back to the wall, slowly moving forward towards it, he could slip away without Arthur noticing. Merlin started moving, but when he passed one of the corridors he heard the sound of weeping.

He really shouldn't interfere. It wasn't his business, after all. But someone else was having an even worse evening than his own, by the sound of it. The noise led him to a young woman, who was crying just beyond the ballroom. She wore a dark-blue satin gown trimmed with matching ribbons and her hair was a lovely auburn colour. Glittering diamonds sparkled around her neck.

"Are you alright?" Merlin asked carefully.

The young woman tried to dry her tears, nodding and waving her hand. "I am fine." When she looked up and saw Merlin's face, her expression transformed into hatred. "Oh. It's you." Merlin didn't know what to say, but the woman continued. "Lady Mercia warned me that you were here."

"Have we met?" Merlin asked, uncertain of why the girl would hate him so much.

"I am Vivian Bannister."

Ah the spurned maiden. "I am Merlin." He desperately did not give his surname, because really, what was the point upsetting the woman further? Already the young woman knew that he had married Arthur.

"You stole Earl Arthur Pendragon from me," Miss Bannister said in a tight voice. "We intended to marry."

Whether or not it was true, the woman certainly believed it. Merlin held his dessert spoon like a weapon, even as Vivian advanced upon him.

"This is not a battle between us," Merlin said. "If you have a quarrel, you should discuss it with the Earl."

"You should be ashamed of yourself," Miss Bannister reproached. "How can you believing he would want someone like you? What did you do? Place yourself in his bed?"

Merlin bristled and bit back a nasty retort. Oh, he could easily argue with Miss Bannister, but this was a battle of words not worth fighting.

"I believe there is nothing left for us to say to one another." With a curt nod Merlin returned to the ballroom.

He found an empty spot against a wall and took deep breaths to calm himself. Miss Bannister's spiteful words were meant to wound him, to make him doubt himself. And they raised questions he'd tried to avoid.

Why had Arthur married someone like him, when there were so many other men or women to choose from? Miss Bannister embodied everything an Earl's wife or husband should be: graceful, poised and completely at ease in society. Merlin, on the other hand, couldn't imagine feeling comfortable amongst the society.

Arthur crossed the ballroom, heading straight towards Merlin. And though he made a brief eye contact, Arthur did not speak to him, as if Merlin weren't there. His husband's deliberate evasion made Merlin's anger rise another notch.

His husband kept walking past him, until Merlin heard Arthur's voice saying, "I believe the next dance is mine, Miss Bannister?"

No. Arthur was not going to dance with that woman, was he?

As they passed, Miss Bannister shot Merlin a triumphant gaze. Merlin was sorely tempted to throw something. The dessert spoon, perhaps, or better, the remains of the strawberry cream. But then… a civilized person would never cause such a scene in public, even if it did wound Merlin's feelings watching them.

That was it. Merlin wasn't going to stay a second longer. Arthur swept Vivian into a dance, but even as he moved her across the ballroom, his gaze remained upon Merlin. Merlin recognised the look of possession, but he took no comfort from it.

Instead he saw Miss Vivian Bannister at ease among the gentry gliding across the floor in Arthur's arms. And Merlin saw Lord Uther Pendragon's nod of approval.

Merlin handed a servant the remains of his dessert and strode towards the terrace. Never again. Though he'd mistakenly believed he could fit in, it was useless. He was not, nor would ever be, a man who could belong at such a gathering.

Merlin's imagination conjured up a vision of what it would be like to have gentlemen or women vying to dance with him. What must it be like to receive pretty compliments instead of warnings.

All he wanted was to be in Arthur's arms, knowing that he belonged.

Merlin planned to walk through the gardens and along the side of the house to make his exit. But Arthur caught up to him a few moments later. Concern lined his face.

"What did Miss Bannister say to you before I arrived?"

"She was angry about our marriage… What else?"

Arthur grimaced. "I feared as much. You looked ready to scoop out her eyes with that spoon."

Merlin ignored his husband and continued his walk through the garden. Arthur continued to follow him, and Merlin didn't bother to ask why. This time Arthur could say nothing that would convince Merlin to stay. He would throw himself in front of a carriage before setting foot back in that ballroom.

Starlight illuminated the darkened skies, and Merlin inhaled the fragrance of flowers mixed with the sentence of herbs. From the ballroom, the faint strains of music calmed Merlin's mood.

"I want to dance with you now," Arthur said, his hand reaching towards Merlin.

"I am a terrible dancer." Did Arthur really think he wanted to dance with him, after all that had transpired this evening? "I might cripple you."

Arthur's answer was to hold out his hand. "I'll take the risk."

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

The music changed into a lively polka. Arthur took Merlin's hand, but he could not manage the steps. He tripped over his own feet, Arthur almost caught him, but Merlin crashed them both into the boxwood hedge.

A laugh escaped Merlin, breaking his terrible mood.

What would Lady Mercia say if she saw him now? _Merlin Emrys, it is truly bad form toss your husband into shrubbery._

Arthur lifted him up, plucking a twig from Merlin's tail-coat. "Well that was interesting." he teased.

"God's… I am worse than I thought I was." A snort escaped Merlin, and he reached up to remove a leaf from Arthur's hair.

From the ballroom, a slow melodic waltz began. Arthur clasped Merlin around the waist, drawing him closer. "Shall we try it again?"

With his hands around Merlin's waist, Arthur waltzed with him. Merlin's heart beat faster, and he swallowed hard. He could smell Arthur's shaving soap, and his palm rested upon Merlin's spine. Arthur pressed him closer, and memories welled up inside.

"I am sorry about the way I treated you back there," Arthur murmured. "But after tonight, I don't want to put you or the children at risk of attack. I wouldn't forgive myself if they harmed you."

Merlin didn't acknowledge the apology, but shivered at Arthur's warm breath against his neck. When the music ceased, Arthur held him for a moment. The faint light of the moon cast shadows over Arthur's face. Upon his collar Merlin saw the faint stain of blood, and it bothered him. Arthur had almost died tonight. Merlin found himself watching his husband, his breath rising and falling in rhythm with Arthur's.

God help him, Merlin remembered too well what it was to love this man. His hand move up to Arthur's face, as if to memorise it. The warmth of his skin, the striking features of his face captivated Merlin.

And this time… Merlin kissed Arthur. At first, the lightness of his husband's lips against his was like a soft breeze, barely there. Then, Arthur slanted his mouth to take Merlin more deeply, Arthur's tongue touching his. The wet sensation sensation relive every moment of his wedding night in Arthur's arms.

Arthur had been every dream come true, both gentle and passionate. Merlin had loved him so much, believing that Arthur loved him, too. The memory shadowed him, the past colliding with the present.

 _Don't think of it. Just be with him now._

The seduction in Arthur's eyes held Merlin spellbound, stealing his breath while intense heat spread through his skin. His nipples tightened against the delicate fabric of his dress shirt, as Arthur's mouth moved away from Merlin's to trail down to his neck.

Merlin closed his eyes. "Y-You don't remember anything of what it was like, do you?" Merlin's own memories haunted him, of feeling Arthur's hardened body atop his. "Our wedding night."

"I want to remember it." Arthur's mouth nipped at Merlin's ear while his hands skimmed over his husband's spine. "Perhaps you can show me tonight."

Merlin inhaled the crisp spring air, trying not to think of how Arthur had forgotten. He hadn't loved him then. And he didn't love Merlin now.

"You married me to escape Miss Bannister," Merlin said slowly. "I was a means to an end, not someone you wanted to wed."

"Damn… That wasn't the only reason, and you know it." Arthur's fingers grasped his husband's wrist, softly tracing a pattern over his skin. "Don't shut me out. Merlin."

Thoughts of Arthur's carnal embrace invaded his mind. Merlin wanted to be with him, more than anything. And yet, if he shared Arthur's bed, what if he were nothing but an evening's entertainment?

Merlin wanted to be more. Although Arthur had broken his heart, Merlin still cared for him. And one night would never be enough.

He stepped away, not even knowing the syllables that escaped his mouth, and fled. Merlin ran through the gardens to the front entrance where the carriages waited.

All through the ride home, Merlin tried to harden his heart. He shouldn't want to be a part of society, or desire a taste of Arthur's world.

But when Arthur had danced with him alone in the garden, in that moment he once became the man Merlin had fallen in love with. Handsome, strong and capable of fulfilling Merlin's every desire, it had taken all of his willpower to resist Arthur.

And worse, was the knowledge that Arthur desired him, too.


	21. Chapter 21

Arthur swirled the whiskey in his glass, watching his uncle Lord Agravaine de Bois pour his own glass. He'd chosen his father's study for their meeting.

"I am glad to see you are well, Arthur, after everything that has happened." Agravaine sat down. "I've not seen you since the night you left your father's ball several months ago."

"My apologies, uncle, for my sudden departure," Arthur replied watching his uncle for any suspicious gesture.

Agravaine shrugged. "Understandable, given the circumstances. But honestly, Arthur, you should have waited for my men to assist you. Going after Will Emrys on your own was not wise. I am surprised you lived to tell the tale." Agravaine's face turned serious. "Did he give you the list?"

Arthur wasn't certain what list his uncle was speaking of, but he played along. "No. I did not find it."

"Damn… We need the names of the other investors." Agravaine took a sip of his whiskey.

Arthur kept his face neutral, wondering why his uncle was so interested in a list of names. He ventured a guess. "The investors in _The Lady Valiant_ you mean?"

"Yes, of course." Agravaine's eyes narrowed. "Have you any idea of where Emrys kept his records? Did you send men to his residence?"

"No. I've only just returned to Camelot." From the desperate tone in his uncle's voice, Arthur suspected there was more to the shipment. "Has something else happened?"

"I've received notes of a threatening in the past few weeks. He wants a thousand pounds, or he'll harm my family." Agravaine slammed down the glass, anger glinting on his face. "I couldn't pay him if I wanted to. I was relying upon the profits from that shipment."

The revelation financial problems made Arthur even more cautions. "Why would he target you for his blackmail?"

"I suppose he thinks I stole his money."

Arthur made no comment, waiting for his uncle to reveal more. Agravaine tossed back the remainder of the whiskey.

"One last matter, Arthur. You should straighten your collar. Someone might see."

"See what, uncle?"

With a twisted smile, Agravaine unbuttoned his cuff and raised his sleeve. There, upon his forearm, was a black tattoo exactly the shape of Arthur's.

ooOooOoo

Arthur handed his cloak to one of the servants and walked upstairs. When he reached the landing he wondered where Merlin had chosen to sleep. Tonight something had changed between them. For the first time, Merlin had kissed him. It was the last thing Arthur expected, especially after such a gruelling night.

He didn't like the way Merlin had been treated. More than one heartless guest had trod upon Merlin's feelings. Arthur blamed himself for not interfering. And yet, he couldn't remain at Merlin's side the way he wanted to. If he even hinted that he cared about Merlin, Arthur endangered him.

For all he knew, the man behind the attacks might have been present at the ball. It might even be his uncle himself. Agravaine had most definitely played a part in the shipment. But was he a threat? The tattoo suggested he was not.

Arthur heard the low cry of a child from one of the rooms, opening the door, he saw a downy head lift from the two wingback chairs pushed together. It was the infant, Freya. He realised he should have purchased a cradle for the baby, long before now.

The baby grinned, revealing a set of two teeth on her bottom gums. "Da-da-da."

"Not a chance," Arthur warned. "We'll have none of that foolishness. Now cease this noise before someone hears you."

Freya's face crumbled, and she screwed up her face to cry. Arthur closed the distance and lifted her up before she could shriek. He had no doubt that the girl would not hesitate to wake the household with her infernal screaming.

Freya buried her face in Arthur's neck, snuggling close. Her soft hair smelled of a floral soap. A curious protective instinct curled around Arthur, and he held the baby at a distance to study her.

"I don't suppose you'd know where your Uncle Merlin is sleeping?"

"Gah," Freya replied.

"You are a veritable wellspring of information." Arthur set the girl down in the wingback chairs, and Freya whimpered, holding her arms out to him.

"Go to sleep."

Freya looked ready to cry, and so Arthur arranged her sideways in order to rub her back. She gave a soft sigh. After several minutes, Freya succumbed to sleep.

Arthur tiptoed out of the room, wondering whether 'Gah' meant left or right.

ooOooOoo

I know, I know… it's a little short. But after that sweet little moment between Arthur and Freya, I could not continue writing, with all the trouble that comes around the corner. And I'm so,so sorry… no update till the end of next week.

Take care ~ Chrissi


	22. Chapter 22

Suddenly the door to one of the rooms flew open, Merlin raced towards Arthur, his face paler as usual. "He's gone."

"Who's gone?"

"Tristan." Merlin was already running down the stairs to fetch his cloak. "I went to say goodnight to him, but he wasn't in his bed nor room. I think he's run away."

"Why would you say that?"

"The other day he told me he wanted to look for his father."

"He'll be looking for a long time, then," Arthur remarked, but Merlin did not react to his dry comment.

Arthur hoped that the boy was only hiding, for a small child would not make it far in the Camelot streets without facing danger. "How long has he been missing, do you think?"

"I don't know. Perhaps hours. His coat and cap are gone."

Arthur needed to calm Merlin, they would not find the boy without a clear, logical plan. Merlin had nearly reached the door when Arthur stopped him.

"Have you searched the house?"

Merlin nodded. "Of course, I have. But I can't find him. W-What if we don't find him?"

"We will. But I wanted to search the house another time."

"I told you, he's not in any of the rooms."

"There are many other places, for Tristan to hide, Merlin." Arthur led him up the stairs again, calm and steady he took Merlin's hand.

Though Arthur did not believe his enemies would go after a small boy, he could not know for certain. When Arthur threw open the door to Tristan's room, Merlin whispered, "What if someone took him? The man who attacked me in the garden might have…"

Merlin had echoed Arthur's own fears, but he wouldn't acknowledge them. Not yet.

Arthur studied the room, checking beneath the bed and behind the curtains. When his search came up fruitless, he tried to allay Merlin's fears with a lie.

"I doubt if anyone would kidnap Tristan."

"How can you be sure?"

Arthur's lips lifted in a slight smile. "I cannot. But I ran away a few times myself, as a lad."

Merlin did not appear consoled. "If anything has happened to him… I-I won't forget myself."

The curtains billowed slightly and Arthur stepped forward, planning to close the window. He looked for Tristan again, this time outside. A tall oak tree grew not far from the house, a long branch stretching beside Tristan's window. Arthur peered into the darkness.

"Bring me a lamp."

When Merlin did, Arthur opened the window wider and held the lamp into the darkness. There, curled against two crossed branches, Tristan slept. A pair of linen drawers were tied around his head, pirate style. He wore his black coat, and underneath his nightshirt bared his legs to the cool air. His cap rested on a smaller branch nearly.

Arthur handed Merlin the lamp, and he held the curtains back as Arthur prepared to climb onto the branch. It was a precarious balance, but Arthur managed to edge onto a thick limb, holding the windowsill for balance.

"Tristan," Arthur said gently, "it's time to come inside."

The boy yawned and blinked sleepily. "I want to sleep outside."

"You worried your uncle, do you know that?" Without waiting for the boy to argue further, Arthur lifted him into his arms and slid across the branch to hand Tristan over to Merlin.

When they had both returned inside safely, Tristan murmured, "Is the bad man gone?"

"The bad man?" Merlin and Arthur said in unison.

"The man who was searching my room. He was trying to take my toys."

Merlin didn't move, didn't breathe. All the blood had drained from his face and he stood motionless as a statue.

"What did the man look like, Tristan?" Arthur asked, helping the boy into bed.

"He was green with tall horns." Tristan yawned. "He had a red tail, too."

Merlin visibly relaxed. "It was only a dream, sweetheart." He tucked Tristan in and pressed a kiss to his temple, removing the drawers from his head. Soothing Tristan's hair, Merlin kissed him a second time. "Goodnight." Tristan mumbled a sleepy response, pulling the covers up to his chin.

Arthur held the lamp up, waiting for Merlin to follow him from the room. When they reached the privacy of the hallway, Merlin turned.

"Do you really believe there was someone here tonight?"

Arthur shrugged. "It sounds like a young boy's overactive imagination."

"And what if he wasn't imaging things? Someone tried to kill you, Arthur."

Arthur hadn't forgotten about that at all. Though he didn't know why, he suspected it had something to do with his uncle Agravaine and Merlin's brother Will.

"The man who attacked you at The Great Dragon Estate," Arthur began, "what did he want?" Arthur sensed that there was another connection, something he hadn't foreseen.

"He wanted investment papers that belonged to Will."

The stolen shipment. No doubt the attacker had something to do with the theft. And if he wanted the papers, likely he was trying to cover up his own involvement.

"Did you give him anything?"

"I had nothing to give." Merlin rubbed his arms, as if to ward of a chill. "But I think he went to my father's house. Will had some of his belongings there before he-" Merlin's voice broke off, and he lowered his gaze to the floor.

"We need to go back to The Great Dragon Estate. I think your brother was hiding informations. It may have cost him his life." Arthur said.

Merlin looked so glum at the knowledge, Arthur wondered if perhaps he shouldn't have said anything. It had been a difficult night for both of them. And tonight Arthur intended to keep a close watch over Merlin. There had been too many dangerous encounters.


	23. Chapter 23

"What have you learned?" the voice asked.

"They are leaving for The Great Dragon Estate. I will follow them and locate the records. I'm sure Pendragon will lead us to them."

"The Earl supposed to be dead." The voice grew frustrated, a note of anger rising higher.

"I will not fail you again, my lord. The records will be destroyed."

"See to it. Or you will not like the consequences." The voice paused a moment, then continued. "Use every means necessary."

ooOoo

Freya Emrys was a traitor of the worst sort. Instead of sobbing for hours on end as she had done on the trip to Camelot, the little girl had spent most of the journey, on their way back to The Great Dragon Estate, happily curled up in Arthur's arms. He'd given her a pocket watch to play with, and she had entertained herself by chewing upon it.

In time, the children fell asleep. Merlin's body had grown slack against Arthur, his fist curled beneath his chin as he drooled upon Arthur's shoulder. The wet nurse Anna had offered to take Freya, but Arthur refused. Merlin's heart softened to see him holding the little girl as if the child were his own. For a moment, they seemed like a true family.

The hours passed, Anna had taken Freya to nurse, and in time, both fell asleep with the rocking of the coach. Tristan stretched out with his head upon Anna's lap, his eyes closed while one hand firmly gripped a tin soldier.

With everyone else asleep, the interior of the coach grew intimate. Merlin was more aware of his husband, Arthur's eyes meeting his with unspoken promises. Arthur reached out to take Merlin's hand. His fingers touched his skin, moving up to cradle Merlin's wrist. Though Arthur did nothing more than brush his thumb against the pulse at the base of Merlin's hand, the sensation made Merlin's breath catch.

"We'll stop at an inn soon," Arthur whispered in Merlin's ear.

Heaven help him, but his suggestions tempted Merlin with the proximity of such close quarters. "I know," Merlin whispered.

"There is no need to be afraid. I won't touch you unless you want me to." Arthur's voice captivated Merlin, seducing him with a dizzying need.

Arthur's fingers slid up his arm, and Merlin shivered. "The children," he reminded him. Arthur accepted to his wishes, drawing back.

Merlin's breathing was unsteady, and he pinched himself without letting Arthur see. He needed to distance himself. But more than anything, he wanted Arthur.

Merlin forced his gaze away, staring outside at the blackness of the night. Why was he even considering sharing Arthur's bed? Too much had changed. He'd left him and all but disappeared from his life. He couldn't let Arthur hurt him that way again. And yet, Merlin could not deny that Arthur tempted him. Could he let Arthur be his husband in body, as well as in name?

The longings rose up inside Merlin, so deeply. As he watched Arthur lift the children from the carriage, he was very much afraid of loving him again.

Arthur arranged two rooms for them at the inn: one for Anna and the children; the other for Merlin and himself.

Once Tristan and Freya were asleep, Merlin returned to the room he would share with Arthur. He stared at the small bed, suddenly wary of sleeping in the same room with his husband. He quickly changed into his pajama trouser and slipped beneath the covers to await his husband.

It was like his wedding night, all over again. If he let Arthur make love to him, he risked losing his heart again. And Merlin didn't want the emptiness of such a one-sided marriage.

The door opened, and Arthur entered, fastening the bolt behind him. He removed his boots and breeches, lifting his tunic away. Merlin buried his face in the sheets, though not before he's caught a glimpse of a broad muscular chest and the black tattoo eding Arthur's neck.

"Merlin?" Arthur whispered, sliding in beside him.

Arthur's warm body nestled against his, and Merlin realised in a panic that Arthur wore nothing. His mouth rested against Merlin's ear. His thighs brushed against Merlin's, Arthur's rigid length against his spine.

"We shouldn't," Merlin managed, his whisper breaking. A storm of sensations ignited his body's hunger.

"Shhh-" Arthur's hand slid beneath the fabric of Merlin's pajama trouser, caressing the heavy fullness of his cock. "Don't be afraid."

"I'm not," Merlin lied. Not afraid of Arthur's touch, only of his crumbling will-power.

"I've been waiting to touch you all day." Arthur cut off any further arguments by lifting Merlin's chin to kiss him.

 _Tell him to stop_ , Merlin's mind pleaded. But Arthur's warm mouth was melting away his uncertainty, making Merlin want him. _So much_.

They shared longingly kisses, and a few minutes later Arthur managed to get Merlin out of his pajama trouser. Merlin's cock slid along the skin of Arthur's groin, flames of desire licked at Merlin's skin, making him burn for Arthur.

"God's I want you, Merlin." Arthur whispered roughly, stroking over his body until Merlin arched his back.

Arthur's mouth covered Merlin's nipple, his hand reached down and grabbed Merlin's cock, touching that spot just near the head. Merlin shuddered and nearly orgasmed at the touch of Arthur's hand wrapped around his cock.

"It's too much," Merlin gasped.

Arthur let go at once. But Merlin gave a moan of disappointment, grabbed Arthur's rear and squeezed him as he pumped into Arthur's fist, rubbing, rubbing. Just perfect.

Merlin released first, but the tension, the swelling, the signs of that amazing pleasure and then the spurt of seed, brought Arthur's own orgasm less than a heartbeat later.

ooOoo

Arthur propped himself up on an elbow, to watch Merlin, and to wonder what on earth would happen next.

"It was like this before," Merlin whispered. He hadn't forgotten a single moment of their wedding night, and the wonderful, sweet and passionate moments he shared with Arthur.

What if Arthur left him again? Merlin couldn't stop some tears spilling on to his cheeks. _Arthur doesn't love you_.

"Did… Did I hurt you?"

Merlin shook his head, biting his lip. No Arthur hadn't hurt him. Not physically. But Merlin should have known better than to share a bed with him.

"This was a mistake," Merlin whispered.

For a long moment, Arthur stared at the ceiling, not speaking a single word. Then, at last, he rolled over and turned his back to Merlin.

Merlin curled his hands into a fist, wishing he'd never let Arthur back into his heart.


	24. Chapter 24

**So my lovely readers, a long chapter ahead. Have fun while reading, and see you all next weekend for the new one. Greetings Chrissi**

Upon their arrival at The Great Dragon Estate, the butler George mumbled apologies, "My lord, the other servants arrived only a few hours ago. I am terribly sorry. I fear your rooms may not be ready yet."

"Then prepare them now. And put my husband's belongings with mine."

Merlin bristled at Arthur's order. His face burned at the thought of their stolen night at the inn and his refusal to lie with Arthur. "I would prefer to sleep in my own room."

Arthur's gaze fixed Merlin's in a direct challenge. But he voiced his command to George. "Obey my orders."

Merlin's posture stiffened. Of course Arthur was angry. Nevertheless, Merlin didn't regret his decision. Too much was unsettled between them. There would be time to argue about this later.

Freya awoke and started whining, her fists rubbing her eyes. Tristan said nothing, following slowly behind Merlin. "George, please prepare the children's rooms first," Merlin instructed. Both children had reached the point of exhaustion. "Are you hungry?" Merlin asked Tristan. The boy shook his head. "Then let's get the two of you off to bed. You'll feel better in the morning."

Tristan's face grew worried and he stopped to tug at George's sleeve. "Did my father come for me while I was gone?"

The butler blinked. "I beg your pardon?" He sent Merlin and Arthur a questioning look. Merlin shook his head, sending him a silent warning.

"Tristan, it's late. We've discussed this before."

"He wouldn't leave us here without coming to get us, I know he wouldn't."

Merlin didn't know what to say. Though he had told Tristan that his father was never coming back, the boy denied it.

Arthur took Tristan's hand in his. "Come on, it's time for bed, Tristan."

The boy fought him, kicking Arthur in the shins. "You cannot tell me what to do. You're not my father!"

"You're father is dead," Arthur said softly. Merlin winced at Arthur's direct tone, but there was nothing to be done. "And you dishonour his memory with your temper tantrum." Arthur continued.

Tristan let out an infuriated roar, pounding his fists upon Arthur's shoulder. "Let go of me! I don't want to go to bed."

Arthur ignored him. To Merlin he directed, "I shall look after him. Take care of Freya, will you?"

Merlin wanted desperately to interfere. Would Arthur give the boy a whipping for his tantrum? The determined expressions on Arthur's face suggested that he would brook no further arguments.

Freya wailed louder, and Merlin was forced to give her over to Anna to feed her. When it abruptly fell silent upstairs, Merlin worried that Arthur had done something drastic.

ooOoo

"Your uncle is not here to rescue you, so you might as well be silent," Arthur told Tristan. "If you continue to disobey me, you will receive a sound thrashing."

Of course Arthur had never actually beaten an errant child before and had no real wish to do so. But as he'd hoped, the threat worked. Tristan stopped struggling, staring at Arthur with fascination.

The boy wasn't staring out of fear, but out of curiosity. "What is that?"

Likely Tristan had glimpsed the tattoo. "Have you seen this before?"

Tristan bobbed his head. "Father had one."

Interesting. Though Arthur was no closer to learning the meaning of its design, he wondered whether his uncle Agravaine or Merlin's brother had been responsible for the stolen shipment profits.

"Do you know what is means?"

Tristan shook his head. He scowled, even as he climbed into bed. "I still don't like you."

"I still don't like you either. Sleep now."

Tristan closed his eyes and Arthur pulled the door shut behind him. Down the hall, he heard Freya shrieking loudly enough to shatter glass.

Arthur ignored it and entered his room. George had delivered the baggage to his room. But his husband's belongings were nowhere to be seen. Why did Merlin insist on being so stubborn?

Last night he made Merlin cry. Arthur had been completely unprepared for the tears after their lovemaking. Though Merlin had claimed that he hadn't hurt him, Arthur knew differently.

Arthur had hurt him when he couldn't remember their wedding, or their first night as newlyweds. And the night at his family's ball, when he'd refused to acknowledge Merlin.

The sound of Freya's incessant screaming kept interrupting Arthur's thoughts. Time passed on and there was no sign of Merlin. The little girl's cries would lie down, only to rise up again within minutes. Arthur didn't know what was going on, but if it meant he had to take charge of matters, so be it.

ooOoo

Freya sobbed, her face puckered with fury. Merlin tried to rock her, but the motion only made the girl cry harder. Looking at his niece, Merlin wished he knew what was wrong. He had never felt so helpless.

Merlin walked the length of the nursery, holding Freya to his shoulder and bouncing her in a rhythm. Freya's cries diminished at the new position, and her arms clenched around Merlin's neck. When the girl drifted into sleep, Merlin tiptoed to the crib. He prayed that Freya would finally surrender to her exhaustion.

The moment Merlin laid her down, the girl shrieked and screamed louder. Merlin lifted her up again, shushing the baby as tears ran down his own face. How had he ever thought he could do this? How could he believe he would make good father when he could not even put a baby to sleep?

The door opened and Arthur stepped inside. "What's going on?"

"I don't know. She's already been fed. Perhaps it's the unfamiliar room. She might be frightened."

"But she needs to sleep."

"Don't you think I know that?"

Arthur held out his arms and took Freya. The little girl wriggled in his grasp, arching her back and howling. "Hush," he said gently. He patted her on the shoulder, but it did nothing to soothe the baby.

Merlin itched to take his niece back from Arthur again, but he dared not. Arthur wanted to help, and Merlin owed him the chance to try.

Just as before, Arthur settled Freya into a rhythm of walking, holding her close and rubbing her tiny shoulders. His velvet voice murmured words of comfort to the little girl.

"Go to your room," Arthur instructed. "I'll be there as soon as Freya's asleep."

"But what if she doesn't? What if-"

"You're tired, Merlin. I'll look after her until she's asleep."

Arthur settled Freya against his chest, and the girl wept with fatigue. His eyes gleamed. "You should always await me naked in bed."

Merlin didn't respond to Arthur's teasing. "Are you certain you want to stay with her?"

"Go."

Merlin left them alone, the crying slowed and Freya emitted whimpering noises. He closed the door and waited with his ear pressed up to the wood for several minutes. The crying didn't stop, but he felt a rhythmic vibration on the floor from Arthur's pacing.

Though Arthur had told him to go back to his room, Merlin couldn't until he knew Freya was asleep. He sank down against the door, his body weight resting against the wood. As time drifted on, Merlin hugged his knees to his chest, exhaustion weighing down his shoulders like a heavy woolen blanket. Minutes drifted into hours, and at last Merlin fell asleep when Freya's crying faded into silence.

ooOoo

"Sir?" a male voice asked.

Merlin opened his eyes and saw George standing before him. His back ached, and Merlin had no idea what time it was. But somehow it was morning. George carried a tray with breakfast.

"I shall take the tray to my husband," Merlin volunteered, rising to his feet. His neck felt as though someone had hammered it repeatedly with a mallet, but Merlin accepted the tray.

George waited, and Merlin nodded toward the room. "Open the door for me, if you please."

He did, and after he closed it behind him, Merlin gaped at the scene he beheld. Arthur lay stretched out, his feet propped up while he sat in a stuffed wingback chair. Upon his chest, Freya snored, her body draped across Arthur's.

Arthur must have walked the floor for hours, comforting Freya. Merlin couldn't begin to tell Arthur how much it meant to him.

Merlin sat the tray down, tiptoeing so as not to wake them. Arthur's blonde hair fell over his eyes while a strong arm held the baby securely in place. Freya gripped Arthur's tunic in her fists. The sight of them held Merlin transfixed. He longed to tell Arthur how grateful he was for helping with the children. Last night he had handled both Tristan's tantrum and Freya's crying.

Merlin reached out to Arthur and brushed the wayward strand of hair from his forehead. His straight nose and gentle mouth lured Merlin closer. Before he could stop his impulse, Merlin leaned down and pressed his mouth to Arthur's.

Arthur woke at the touch of his husband's lips. For a moment, he appeared confused about where he was. Then he straightened, careful so as not to wake Freya.

"How did you get her to fall asleep?" Merlin whispered.

"I put a warm cloth beneath her left ear. She kept tugging at it last night, and the heat seemed to ease her pain. You might wish to have Dr Gaius examine her today, however."

"I'll send for him." Merlin poured his husband a cup of tea and set it on the table, taking Freya from his arms. The baby moaned, tucking her head beneath Merlin's chin. Gently, Merlin set her down in the crib. Thankfully, the little girl did not awaken.

Arthur took a sip of tea. "Somehow I doubt you waited for me in bed last night."

Merlin shrugged. "I slept outside the door."

"I made you cry the other night," Arthur changed the subject, "and I'm sorry for that. But not for touching you." Arthur's voice took on a deep timbre, making Merlin flush.

"What is it you want, Arthur?" You haven't even decided whether or not to keep me as your husband."

"And what if I do?"

Arthur rose and took a step forward. Then another. He lifted Merlin's chin until his husband could not turn away. His hands cupped Merlin's face, Arthur's eyes weary. Beneath the shadows of fatigue, Merlin saw a man who had stayed up all night for a child he barely knew.

"Let us try, Merlin."

Merlin lost himself in Arthur's eyes, in his compassion. When Arthur's mouth met his, Merlin met his kiss without holding himself back. Heat and feverish sensation spiralled through Merlin, awakening him with desire. Arthur's mouth moves over his lips, not forcing him, but letting Merlin know the fullness of Arthur's own need.

It was happening again. Merlin was falling under Arthur's sensual spell, letting himself believe in the fairy tale. Merlin pulled back, his pulse trembling. Arthur's blonde hair was unkempt while Merlin's lips were raw from the bristle of Arthur's unshaven face.

"Send for Anna and the doctor." Arthur suggested.

Merlin's brain wouldn't work, couldn't understand what Arthur wanted. "Anna and the doctor?" he replied.

"Anna can watch over Freya until Dr Gaius can have a look at her. In the meantime, we've unfinished business between us." Arthur laced his fingers with Merlin's, pulling him towards his body.

Merlin suspected his intent, and he shied away. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Arthur's hand moved down Merlin's spine, fingers curled below the dip of his waist. "I'd rather show you what I mean. I shared your bed once before, didn't I? On our wedding night."

"Yes, but you don't remember any of it."

"I remembered every thing last night. All is clear."

"Liar." Merlin didn't believe a word of it. "I think you would say anything to me, if it brought me back into your bed."

Arthur nodded solemnly. "I would , yes."

At this blunt honesty, a choked laugh escaped Merlin. "Not a good idea, Pendragon."

Arthur moved Merlin's palms upon the muscles of his chest. He captured Merlin's lips again, devouring his mouth until fire ignited upon Merlin's skin. He fell alive as sensations swelled within him. Merlin's hands threaded through Arthur's hair while the Earl taught him what it meant to burn for him.

Merlin pulled himself back again. His breathing was unsteady and he held on to Arthur for balance. He was afraid that when Arthur let him go, his knees might buckle.

"I promise you, Merlin, to tempt you as you've never been tempted before." Arthur whispered huskily.

Arthur's words made Merlin long to cast his inhibitions away, to welcome him into his arms. But he was afraid to trust Arthur, afraid that he'd betray him again.

"You can try Pendragon," Merlin said at last, terrified of what he had just agreed to.


	25. Chapter 25

Merlin held Freya tightly in his arms, Dr Gaius offered a small bottle of tonic. "Give this to her before she sleeps at night. It will ease the pain," he said. "Her ears troubling her."

Arthur had suspected as much, but if the physician's reassurances brought Merlin comfort, so much the better. He was grateful that the little girl would not endure another night like the last one. Arthur did a yawn, hoping to get some rest before tonight.

But first he needed to make further progress on the identity of his attacker. The only link between himself, his Uncle Agravaine and Will Emrys was the tattoo.

When Arthur entered the library, he rummaged through his desk for paper to make a list, when he saw Tristan hiding behind the curtains.

"You can come out. I can see you hiding there."

Tristan peered out from behind the curtains. Arthur saw the boy holding a book. When Arthur drew nearer, Tristan tried to hide it behind his back.

"What are you reading?"

"N-Nothing."

"May I have a look?" Arthur stretched out his hand, but Tristan shook his head.

"It's mine."

Arthur sat down beside the boy, crossing his legs. "Is it a good story?"

"It has nice pictures."

Arthur changed the subject. "I could use your help in a casual matter, if you don't mind."

"I'm reading," Tristan said. "I haven't the time just now."

"Ah. Well, it's about the tattoo you said your father had."

Tristan's ears perked up in interest. He closed the book, as if trying to decide whether or not to give Arthur his attention.

"You see, I'd like to make a copy of the design to learn what it means. But it's on my neck, and I cannot see it properly. Would you hold a mirror for me?"

"I'm busy," Tristan argued.

Arthur was never one to turn away a challenge. If it meant using his wits to convince Tristan, so be it. He was counting on the boy's natural curiosity. First, Arthur rang for George and ordered two mirrors. Tristan had not moved, but was now studying his book again.

When George returned, he carried a covered tray, along with the mirrors. "My lord, your husband sent this." He set the tray upon the desk.

Arthur lifted the cover and found a plate neatly covered with slices of pound cake. Atop the cake rested luscious strawberry halves, drenched in sweet cream. He tasted the cake, savouring its sweetness. Arthur did know that Merlin enjoyed baking, and it had taken time to make this. It tasted all sweeter because of it.

Arthur offered some to Tristan, who used his bare finger to soak a piece of cake in cream. "Mmm…" Tristan sighed. With strawberry streaks upon his lips, he wiped his hands upon his trousers and returned to his book.

After he'd finished the cake, Arthur set the plate aside. He'd have to thank Merlin for it later, and that was something he anticipated with pleasure.

Arthur balanced one mirror against a stack of books on the side of his desk. Then loosened his tunic, placing the other mirror between his knees to see the design of the tattoo more clearly. "I wonder if this symbol has any meaning," he mused out loudly.

Tristan merely licked his finger and turned a page from his book.

"Of course, I'm certain your father never told you what it was. Such a thing would be quite a secret."

Tristan shifted in his seat, but said nothing. Arthur traced the design, dipping his pen into the inkwell. The swirling black symbols resembled in ancient language. His step-brother Gwaine thought it was druidical.

"Did your father ever travel to Avalon?" Arthur asked.

"Yes." Tristan turned his book over, "And I'm going to travel to Avalon someday."

"Why?"

"Our butler was from Avalon. Edwin was his name, he was a soldier. He used to tell me stories of battles between his people, the druids, and ours."

Arthur finished copying the tattoo and was surprised to see Tristan had set the book aside.

"When I'm older, I went to be a soldier, too." The earnest tone in the boy's voice and the solemnity of his posture gave Arthur pause.

Tristan came and stood beside Arthur. "You have that part wrong," he said. Arthur handed him the pen, and Tristan redrew the tattoo. "There."

"Thank you." Arthur said softly. But even with Tristan's correction, the design was nothing like anything he'd seen before. "Do you know this symbol?"

"I don't know what it means, but Father had one on his arm."

"When did he get it?"

Tristan lifted his shoulders in a shrug. "A year ago. When he went to Avalon with Edwin."

"Where is Edwin now?"

Tristan shrugged. "In the village, I think. Father made him leave when we had no money for servants."

It was worth investigating. The man might be able to shed light on the meaning of the symbol. Arthur set the design aside, intending to ask Merlin to accompany him to the village later.

"So you want to be a soldier, do you?" Tristan bobbed his head. "Then you'll have to learn how to ride a horse, won't you?"

A sudden shining dawned in Tristan's eyes. "We never-I mean, I never rode a horse before." He took Arthur's hand in his. "C-Can we go now?"

At the feeling of the small palm grasping his, a tightness rose up in Arthur's chest. He wanted to be a different man than his father had been. Though Tristan was not his flesh and blood, the boy was now his responsibility. He would be the one to teach Tristan how to sit on a horse, how to command the animal.

"Yes, we can go now."

With Tristan's hand tucked in his own, Arthur passed Merlin on the way, offering him a look of what-could-I-do? while Tristan babbled on. "Am I going to learn how to gallop and I'll go faster than anyone!"

His husband had a smudge of flour in his dark-brown hair, and never had any men or women looked more delectable. Arthur wanted to brush the flour aside, kissing Merlin senseless. "The cake was delicious." Arthur caught Merlin's hand and kissed the inside of his wrist.

"You said you likes strawberries. And I was in the mood to bake a cake, so…" Merlin shrugged, as though it were nothing. But Merlin had tried to please Arthur, had created the dish with his own hands. He cared.

Deep blue eyes met Arthur's, and, on impulse, he caught Merlin by the nape and kissed him. His lips parted in surprise, but Merlin kissed him back. It was too short by half, but the softness of Merlin's touch, the scent of vanilla, inflamed Arthur.

"Uncle Arthur, come on." Tristan pulled him away, and at last he relented.

"Later," Merlin whispered, after they had both left.

Merlin wanted so badly to believe Arthur could be his helpmate and friend. But a part of him held back. For three months he'd been alone. It had been the worst time of his existence. Arthur had disappeared, and he hadn't known if he was dead or alive. Merlin had woken up in the middle of the night, wondering if he'd only imagined the marriage. And when Arthur returned, he hadn't remembered him at all. Would Arthur ever learn to love him? And if not, was it enough?


	26. Chapter 26

George cleared his throat, "There is a solicitor to see you. Mr James Hengist." The butler handed Merlin the man's card.

What was this all about? A wave of fear washed over Merlin. He hadn't seen Mr Hengist since his brother's death, when they'd been unable to locate Will's testament. They had assumed that the title and property went to Tristan. Dread gathered in the pit of Merlin's stomach, gaining momentum. Was there something wrong?

"Please, George, serve him tea in the parlour while I prepare myself." Then Merlin added," And send for my husband."

The butler bowed, and when he had gone, Merlin raced up the staircase to his room. He rummaged around, looking for something suitable to wear. There was nothing, save the tail coat, which was completely inappropriate.

There was no choice but to continue wearing his old brown breeches and blue tunic. Quickly he tried to tame his messy looking hair. He washed his face and tried to blot some flour spots from his clothes. Merlin prayed it would not take long for George to find Arthur.

Merlin's heart pounding, he took a deep breath. Each step toward the parlour felt like a step closer to execution. He opened the door, preparing for the worst. Mr Hengist sat upon the couch, a cup of tea in his hands. The man's dark-blue wool jacket strained against the buttons, and he brushed the crumbs of some biscuits from his black trousers.

"Merlin Emrys." His brother's solicitor rose and inclined his head in greeting. "Thank you for receiving me." With a warm smile he added, "I'm glad to hear that your husband has safely returned."

"He has, yes." Merlin bade the man sit down. "What business brings you here, Mr Hengist? Have you located Will's testament?"

"I have." The solicitor accepted a fresh cup of tea when Merlin poured it. "As you know, after your brother's untimely death, we spent several months searching for it."

"Tristan inherited the title and lands, didn't he?" Mr Hengist nodded, and Merlin was able to breath again. "That's good, isn't it?"

The solicitor took a sip of tea, his eyes troubled. "I'm afraid there's more. It came to our attention that your uncle Aredian was named legal guardian of the children, instead of you and your husband as we assumed."

Merlin's mind barely registered the solicitor's words. Uncle Aredian? As an elderly widowed gentleman, Aredian had no use for young children. Why would Will have done such a thing?

"Aredian is still in Avalon," Merlin informed Mr Hengist.

"He was. But he recently returned to his estate here, upon hearing of your brother's death. His men contacted me, and, thanks to his efforts, we were able to locate the testament. It seems your brother put it into his safekeeping."

Merlin's suspicions darkened. It seemed a bit convenient for Aredian to suddenly find the testament. He barely remembered his uncle, from when he wa a little boy. But they'd had little contact with him before he'd gone to Avalon, save the occasional letter.

"Why hasn't he come to see us, if he's back?"

"He has invited you and the children to come and visit. Here." Mr Hengist handed Merlin a folded envelope.

Merlin read the contents of the letter, and when he'd finished, he clenched his hands into fists. "H-He expects me to leave the children behind." It was a struggle to control his anger. "Tristan and Freya belong in my care for almost a year now."

"True, yes. But according to the law, they are now your uncle's protection. Unless he agrees to name you as their guardian, you have no choice." The solicitor reached for another biscuit, offering Merlin a sympathetic smile. "I would suggest that you go and ask your uncle to relinquish his rights. He may well agree-"

Merlin cut him off. "I will not give my brother's children to Aredian or anyone else." With a hard stare at the solicitor, Merlin rose to his feet. "Good day."

"Forgive me Mr Emrys, but if you do not abide by the conditions of the testament, your uncle has the right to alert the authorities." Mr Hengist shook his head. "While I hope he would not do so, I beg you not impose such a hardship upon the children."

"I will have a servant escort you to the door, sir," Merlin repeated.

The solicitor sighed. "I am sorry to have upset you, Mr Emrys. I shall send you a copy of the testament for you to pursue at your leisure. And you may wish to answer your uncle's invitation."

Merlin's answer was to crumble up the letter and top it into the hearth. "Good day, sir." Mr Hengist bowed and departed.

Merlin clenched his hands, willing himself to remain calm. He was not going to allow anyone to take Tristan or Freya. Testament or not, they belonged to him. Not his uncle, who hadn't even bothered to come and see him once in almost fifteen years.

At long last, Arthur and Tristan arrived. The boy's hair was rumpled, his face glowing with excitement.

"I rode a horse!" Tristan exclaimed breathlessly. "Arthur thought me how to canter it." The joy in Tristan's voice made Merlin not want to spoil the moment.

"You wanted to see me?" Arthur asked.

"I'll tell you about it later," Merlin replied to Arthur. "I would like to hear about your first ride." Giving Tristan his full attention, Merlin forced a smile while his nephew described his experiences.

Merlin's eyes met his husband'. There was amusement in his expression as he listened to Tristan's boyish excitement. "He did well, though I imagine his little bottom will be sore in the morning."

"I am fine," Tristan insisted. "Can we ride more today?"

Arthur shook his head. "Tomorrow." With a glance down at the empty plate, Arthur asked, "Why don't you go into the kitchen and see if Cook has any more biscuits?"

After Tristan had left, Arthur returned his attention to Merlin. "You look worried," he said. "Is everything alright?"

Arthur reached out to rub the tension from Merlin's neck, and goose-flesh rose up on Merlin's skin. Merlin could smell Arthur's skin, the light scent of shaving soap and the outdoors. It made him want to pull Arthur closer. Merlin wanted so badly to pour out his troubles, to lay his head on Arthur's shoulder and let him relieve the burden of responsibility.

"Will's solicitor, Mr James Hengist, came to speak with us about my brother's testament."

"What did he want?"

"The original testament was finally found. Mr Hengist claims that Will did not name us as guardians of the children. He named my uncle guardian."

Arthur's hand moved down to Merlin's waist. "Have you seen the testament?"

"Not yet. He says he'll send a copy to us." He gripped Arthur's hands in his. "My uncle has invited us to visit and bring the children."

"You're troubled about it. Why?"

"It seems too sudden. Why now? Why wouldn't Aredian have contacted me after Will's death?"

"It takes time for a letter to reach Avalon, Merlin."

Arthur nipped at Merlin's lips, and Merlin found it difficult to think clearly while his husband was touching him. Arthur lowered his mouth to Merlin's neck, sending fierce shivers through his skin.

"Don't, please." Arthur was not taking him seriously. "This is important to me."

"Why are you afraid? Is there something the matter with your uncle?"

"No, there's nothing wrong with Aredian. But I can't understand why he would want custody of small children, at his age. Something feels wrong about this."

"Tristan and Freya are under my protection. You needn't fear." Arthur took Merlin's hand, his thumb caressing his knuckles. "I'll look into the matter. I'll go and talk to your uncle myself, if you wish."

Merlin forced himself to calm down. Arthur had given him his promise. It would have to be enough for now. "Thank you."

Arthur sat down and poured himself a cup of tea. "Earlier today, Tristan told me about your former butler Edwin."

"Edwin Muirden. He worked for us a few years ago."

"If Mr Muirden still lives in the village, I want to pay him a visit tomorrow morning," Arthur said.

"Why?"

"He may know something about the tattoo on my neck. Tristan claimed that Mr Muirden accompanied your brother on a trip to Avalon."

Merlin knew Will had gotten the marking in Avalon, but had never questioned why or what it meant.

"It's not a coincidence that both of us have the tattoos," Arthur said. "My ship must have gone to Avalon when I was away those three months."

"What do you think the symbol means?"

"I don't know. But I intend to find out." Arthur stifled a yawn, and then took Merlin's hand, pulling him forward. "Come to bed."

Merlin's face turned scarlet. How could Arthur think of such a thing now?

Arthur sheepishly smiled at Merlin, "That's not what I had in mind, dear husband."

Arthur stood and beckoned for Merlin to follow. He led him down a corridor and upstairs. At the door to their room, Arthur waited. Merlin waited at the threshold, shaking his head.

"Why do I sense this is not a good idea?"

"You are entirely too suspicious," Arthur remarked. Once inside Arthur sat down on the bed and removed his tunic, boots and breeches. He laid back upon the pillow, his eyes mischievous. "You should remove your clothes too."

"No. And why is that every time I am alone with you, you keep trying to remove my clothing?"

"Because it's fun?" Arthur suggested. Turning serious, he continued, "You cannot sleep in them."

"Sleep?" The idea of sinking into a soft bed was appealing as a dish of strawberry ice. "B-But it's still the late afternoon. They'll be expecting us for supper. And what about the children?"

"George will hold our supper for us. And I feel certain that he won't deny the children food."

Merlin sighed, removing slowly his clothes and leaving him in his undergarment. Arthur patting the pillow beside him, Merlin climbed into bed and Arthur pulled him close. "That's nice." he said.

Arthur's arms surrounded Merlin, warm and strong. The spicy scent of his shaving soap made Merlin want to snuggle into Arthur's neck.

"I slept little last night, between Freya's crying and your snoring outside the door."

"I do not snore."

"Of course you do. And if you snore while I am napping, I'll be sure to kick you."

Merlin grabbed a pillow and squeezed it hard. If Arthur believed Merlin could fall asleep like this, then he had gone mad. Merlin's body craved him, but he refused to weaken.

Beside him, Merlin heard Arthur's breathing grow deep and even. Arthur held him close, Merlin's back up against his chest. It reminded Merlin of the way Arthur had held him the first time he'd made love to him on their wedding night.

Skin to skin, Arthur had treated him with such gentleness. Sadness pricked Merlin's eyelids, for Arthur hadn't loved him then. And Merlin didn't know what Arthur felt for him now.


	27. Chapter 27

They rode out the following morning. Arthur was accustomed to riding, his body naturally adapting to the horse's gait. Merlin, in contrast hung on to the reins with white knuckles. Arthur suspected Merlin hadn't ridden a horse in years, and his backside would be sore later. And yet, Arthur knew Merlin would die before complaining.

The village Ealdor appeared upon the horizon, a pastoral scene of thatched cottages and wisps of smoke rising from the chimneys. A farmer driving a horse-drawn cart rumbled along the dirt road. When they reached the centre of Ealdor, wooden signs hung outside to mark the establishments. They passed a tavern, a blacksmith's and a shoemaker's, before Merlin called out to Arthur to halt. Both dismounted quickly.

Tethering their horses outside the shoemaker's, Arthur walked alongside Merlin and his thoughts drifted to last night. He had managed to sleep beside Merlin without making love to him, though the effort had nearly been his undoing. Arthur wanted Merlin to desire him, to give their marriage a chance. But it had to be Merlin's choice.

After a while they reached an apothecary shop, the spicy aroma of cinnamon and cardamom filled Arthur's nostrils as they entered. The owner a stout man with long hanging jowls, set down his mortar and pestle at the sight of Merlin.

"Ah, Merlin Emrys," he greeted, "it's a surprise to see you."

"Hello, Mr Barrow," Merlin responded, offering the man a bright smile. "May I present my husband Earl Arthur Pendragon?"

The apothecary gave a slight bow. "My lord."

Arthur greeted the man and added, "I hope you may be able to assist me in a small matter. I am looking for a man called Edwin Muirden. He used to work in my husband's household."

"I am afraid Edwin is not here at the moment," Mr Barrow apologised. With a quick glance toward the back room of the shop, he shrugged. "I shall give him your message, however. Is there a place where he can find you?"

"I will be at Will Emrys estate in the next hour," Arthur offered. "Or if he cannot meet me there, he may come to The Great Dragon Estate."

Merlin's expression sharpened when Arthur mentioned Will's house, but he thankfully said nothing. Arthur hadn't told his husband of his intent to search the property.

Mr Barrow promised to send the message on their behalf, and both men departed. Once they were back outside, Arthur and Merlin mounted their horses.

"Why do you want to visit Will's estate? There is hardly anything left."

"If your brother had any records relating to _The Lady Valiant,_ they would be at his house."

"Unless someone found them first."

"Which is what I intend to find out."

"You're right. We go and see what we can find."

"Not you." Arthur didn't know what to expect at the estate, and he refused to endanger Merlin.

"I'm a grown man, Arthur. You're not leaving me behind." Merlin spurred his horse into a gallop, wincing at the jostling horse.

With no choice, Arthur followed him. They passed the village and rode into the open countryside. Amidst the profusion of wildflowers, a modest manor house stood atop a hillside. Abandoned and broken, Arthur doubted if there was much left to it. The horses travelled uphill until they reached the gates. Merlin dismounted without waiting for Arthur and led the animal to the stables.

Arthur didn't like the look of the place. Once, the name Emrys had possessed an estate known for breeding the finest horses. Now all that remained was a crumbling manor and empty stalls.

The malodorous scent provoked a sudden memory. Visions poured through Arthur's mind, filling in the rifts of the past. He remembered travelling by coach to Mercia, Merlin's face radiant with happiness. Arthur had brought him back to The Great Dragon Estate three days after the wedding.

Vivid memories crushed into him, and bitterness filled Arthur's throat when he recalled Merlin's smile. "You were in love with me, weren't you?"

Merlin tethered his horse to one of the stalls and stopped to stare at Arthur. "What do you mean?"

"You married me because you loved me. You said it on the day we wed."

"I-I don't know what I said."

Arthur remembered it as though he were standing beside Merlin just yesterday. "You said you'd dreamed of marrying me. That this was what you'd hoped for."

Merlin kept his gaze averted. "I might have been caught up in the moment."

Arthur drew nearer, trapping Merlin against a stall. "I married you to avoid my father's interference. And to take you away from here." He rested both hands upon Merlin's shoulders. "You never knew that Will sent me, did you?"

Merlin shook his head.

"He asked me to come and ensure that you were all right. When I saw this place... " Arthur shook his head. "You didn't deserve to live like that."

After a pause, Merlin inclined his head. "It no longer matters."

But it did. Arthur could see it in the way Merlin guarded his emotions. "You thought I was in love with you. Would you have married me if you had known the truth?"

Merlin shrugged. "You said everything I wanted to hear. I had no one to blame but myself."

"I hurt you when I left. I am sorry for it."

A tremulous expression glimmered in Merlin's eyes, but he shielded the vulnerability. Though Merlin might have dismissed it as unimportant, Arthur knew better. Arthur wanted to atone for it, to start again.

Without acknowledging the apology, Merlin said, "Let us go into the house."

The manor boasted fifteen rooms, but Arthur could not remember a time when the house had held all its furnishings and paintings. The brick facade was covered in ivy, the vines smothering cracked windows. The panes were rotted, the wood crumbling in places. It was a home that evoked despair.

"Are you certain you wish to enter?" Arthur asked.

Merlin nodded. "It wasn't always like this."

Merlin moved up the crumbling steps, running his hand along the entryway until he felt a loose brick. Wiggling it forward, he reached into the hollow and withdrew an iron key. He unlocked the door, and pushed it open. The smell of dust and decay permeated Arthur's senses.

Nothing of value remained. The walls were discoloured with light squares where paintings had once hung. As Arthur walked toward the drawing room, he spied an old, battered couch peppered with moth holes. Spider webs glistened against the heavy blue curtains by the windows.

"Were you happy here?" Arthur asked.

Merlin shook his head. "They always argued over money, over which pieces to sell. After Father died-"

A shudder pulsed through Merlin. His family's tragedy had been retold in countless drawing rooms. Rather than beg for help from a family member, Merlin's father had hanged himself. Merlin buried his face in his hands, trying to gather his composure.

"Were you there when it happened?"

"I-I was the one who cut him down."

Arthur was aghast. "What?" And where was your brother?"

Merlin took a breath. "Will had gone to play. He brought home money that night. It was one of the few times he won."

Arthur placed an arm around Merlin's shoulders. He wanted to grant his husband support, to let him know that he regretted what had happened.

"You should not have had to face such a tragedy alone."

"I was not alone. Will's wife was with me. But she was pregnant and could not help much." A cynical expression formed. "I should have found a way to stop it from happening."

"It wasn't your fault. No one blames you, Merlin."

"No, but it is a convenient excuse for the society to keep me out of their drawing rooms. They know that this is what I came from, Arthur." Merlin gestured towards the dishevelled room. "This is who I am."

"No. It was a tragedy, not a judgement of your character."

Merlin didn't argue, as though it wasn't worth the effort. Arthur could see the disbelief in Merlin's eyes, and he didn't know how he could change it.

"Let us go into Will's study." Merlin suggested. "There might be some papers that could help you remember the night you were attacked."

Arthur followed Merlin, stepping over a fallen table and broken glass. When they reached the study, ledgers lay everywhere, the room in shambles. Someone had searched thoroughly for something. Evidence, Arthur was certain. But what?

"Someone was here before us," Merlin guessed. Trying to push the heavy desk upright. "Maybe the man who attacked me at The Great Dragon Estate."

Arthur assisted him and they picked up the fallen drawers. "I agree. But he may have overlooked something."


	28. Chapter 28

They spent the next hour sorting through the papers and righting furniture. Arthur knew that Merlin's family had lost everything, but seeing the reality was much more worse than he'd imagined. Only months ago, Merlin lived here with his brother and the children. Arthur didn't like to think of rats living here, much less his husband and family.

His family. The thought sobered Arthur. He was responsible for their well-being and protection. Although Tristan and Freya were not of his blood, he was growing accustomed to them. And whether or not he retained guardianship, Arthur made a personal vow never to let any of them suffer through this kind of existence again.

Arthur continued searching through the books when he spied a tin horse, just the size of the soldiers belonging to Tristan. The horse was small enough to fit inside his palm, the brown paint nearly gone. Arthur tucked the toy inside his pocket, planning returning it to Tristan later.

"Look at this one," Merlin said, handing Arthur a bound log.

Arthur thumbed through the pages, stopping when he saw the name of one of his ships: _The Lady Valiant._ It was the one whose cargo profits had been stolen. But several pages of the log were missing.

"This was my ledger, not Will's. I wrote these entries." Arthur frowned, wondering how Merlin's brother had come by the pages. "How do you think it ended up-" Arthur stopped short when a man entered, dressed in flowing robes of brown.

The man was tall, and he moved with the swiftness of a snake. A vision flashed through Arthur's mind. This man raised a knife, delivering a vicious blow against someone… a shattering pain invaded Arthur's body… and later he recalled the scent of healing herbs against his wounds.

"My lord, Mr Emrys," he greeted. A strange expression crossed his cicatrized face when Arthur was about to introduce himself.

"It's good to see you, Edwin." Merlin took the man's hand in his own. "You look well."

Edwin returned Merlin's smile, and he seemed like an older brother, protective of Merlin. He bowed to Arthur, his eyes discerning.

"My lord, I see you have recovered from your injuries."

From the way the man noted the healing, Arthur ventured his prediction. "You were there the night I was attacked."

"I was." Regret shadowed his face. "To my sorrow, I arrived too late to safe Will Emrys life. But yours-" He broke off, his gaze flickering toward Merlin before he shielded the thoughts.

"What happened to me after the attack?"

The man glanced at Merlin again. "While I fought your attackers, you escaped… elsewhere, my lord."

"Where?"

After a long moment of hesitation, Edwin admitted, "It was a man's house."

Merlin's face whitened. "Your lover."

Though Arthur wanted to deny it, he couldn't. A vision flashed through his mind of staggering the streets, blood drenching his clothes. He'd gone to his lover's home for sanctuary.

"Yes," Arthur admitted.

Merlin's gaze turned away from Arthur, as though he couldn't bear to look upon his face. Did Merlin still believe he'd been unfaithful? Arthur had been bleeding, while men were hunting him. Infidelity was not even possible. Arthur's anger flared, for they'd been through this before.

But Arthur could see the questions in his husband's mind, the suspicions rising. Although they'd begun rebuilding their marriage, a servant's words were already tearing it down. His resentment rose higher, and Arthur forced back his temper. He would talk to Merlin later, and allay whatever mistrust he was feeling.

Arthur redirected his interrogation back to Edwin. "Why were they trying to kill me? Were they Will's creditors?"

Edwin shook his head slowly. "They wanted the profits from your ship." A dark undercurrent cloaked the servant's words, almost as though he resented the loss. "I overheard them arguing about it. They were trying to locate the missing funds and thought that Will Emrys knew where they were."

Merlin rubbed his arms and shivered. "Will would never steal anything. Why would they suspect him?"

Edwin bowed his head. "I regret, Mr Emrys, that he had numerous debts."

"What happened when he went to Avalon with you last year?" Arthur questioned. "Tristan told me about a tattoo that Will received. Was it druidical?"

Edwin looked uncomfortable. "Yes, my lord. But I'm afraid that's all I know."

Arthur didn't believe him. The marking most definitely had a darker meaning, one that the servant did not wish to disclose.

Edwin turned to Merlin, his expression softening. "The children, Mr Emrys. Are they well?"

Merlin forced a smile and nodded. "They are at The Great Dragon Estate, should you like to see them."

The two talked quietly, Edwin helping Merlin to set the room back in order. As the sun grew lower, Arthur drew Merlin to his side. "Go and wait with the horses. Before we leave, I wish to speak with Edwin alone."

"There is nothing that cannot be said in my presence," Merlin argued.

"It does not concern you."

Anger blistered in Merlin's eyes. "All of it concerns me. If you plan to talk about my brother, I deserve to know what happened." He clenched Arthur's arm. "Or is this about your lover?"

"We'll discuss that later."

"Discuss what?" That you went to his residence instead of your own family's? What am I to think?"

"For god's sake, Merlin, I was bleeding. I wasn't about to ravish him. He saved my life." Merlin's shoulders lowered in defeat, and Arthur added, "Wait at the stables, and I'll take you back."

Merlin obeyed, but from his demeanour, Arthur sensed that this conversation was far from over. When he was certain Merlin had gone, he returned to Edwin.

"The druidical tattoo. There is another man who wears the same marking." Arthur choose his words carefully, not wanting to reveal too much. "de Bois is his name."

"Were I you, I should not trust him, my lord. The man betrayed Will Emrys to his enemies."

Arthur recalled his uncle's confiding financial troubles. Could Agravaine have stolen the shipping profits and tried to behave as though Will were the thief? Or someone else?

"If I have more questions, will you be in the village?"

Edwin nodded. "I will answer whatever I can, my lord." His face softened. "And if you would permit it, I should like to see Tristan and Freya once more. I helped to care for them when Will Emrys was unable to do so."

Arthur granted permission and thanked Edwin once more for the information. The man bowed deeply, and moments later, he disappeared on foot towards Ealdor.

The revelation troubled Arthur deeply, for he had trusted Agravaine at one time. And yet, Arthur was not prepared to accept Edwin's assertions without proof. The events were more complex than he'd anticipated and would take time to unravel.

One matter was certain. He would protect Merlin and the children above all else.


	29. Chapter 29

At night in Merlin's room, a fire burned low in the hearth. A servant had turned back the covers of the bed, while Merlin sat with his knees curled up to his chest, only in his pajama trousers. When the door opened, he jerked his gaze and saw Arthur.

"What are you doing here?" All through the ride back to The Great Dragon Estate, Arthur hadn't spoken to him. Now, he reminded Merlin of a wolf, stalking his prey.

"You know exactly… why I'm here. We have an argument to finish."

Arthur removed his riding boots, then he turned away to undress his tunic, catching Merlin's attention. At the sight of Arthur's bare back, Merlin's cheeks heated. His muscles appeared sinewy with rough planes like carved marble. Upon the back of his neck, Merlin saw the druidical tattoo. The foreign marking gave Arthur a dangerous edge, like a mercenary. A slight fear rippled through Merlin, and he wondered what it meant.

Arthur leaned against the chair, his corded muscles tight in the fire light. He stood so near, Merlin smelled the faint of whiskey on Arthur's breath. But there was no doubt his husband was sober.

"Oh." Merlin had been so angry with Arthur this afternoon, hardly able to talk to him. No, that wasn't right. He'd been jealous. Another man had tended Arthur's wounds, putting him upon a ship so that his enemies wouldn't find him.

Though logic reminded him that Arthur had done nothing wrong, Merlin wanted to claw the man's eyes out for touching _his_ husband. Even if it was innocent.

Arthur's hand curled around the back of Merlin's neck. "You accused me of letting your brother die while I was with my lover."

Merlin rose from the chair, putting his hands upon Arthur's warm flesh. "I was angry at the thought of your infidelity, yes. And I did blame you for Will's death." Merlin lowered his gaze. "That was before I knew the truth."

"I never touched him that night or any other night afterwards. I swear to you."

Merlin rested his forehead against Arthur's chest, and he believed him. Arthur's hands settled upon the crown of Merlin's head, his thumbs brushing his husband's temples.

"Aren't you going to lash out at me? Threaten to poison my tea or something?" Arthur teased.

"Well… to be honest, I thought about it. And you're right. It would be different to ravish a man while you were half-bleeding to death."

Arthur touched Merlin's neck, his hands moving down his husband's back. Gently, he pressed Merlin's body closer until both feeling their cocks through the fabric of their trousers.

"I'd rather ravish you." Arthur whispered huskily.

A tiny spiral of fear hovered, but Merlin pushed it aside. He wanted to be with Arthur tonight, to pretend for a moment that the danger didn't exist. To claim Arthur as his own, removing the memory of any other man or woman but himself.

Arthur's fingers moved down Merlin's spine, he reached beneath the delicate fabric of Merlin's pajama trousers, his palms cupping Merlin's bare bottom. At Arthur's touch, Merlin closed his eyes.

"Did I touch you like this on our wedding night? Please Merlin, help me remember." he whispered.

Arthur drew Merlin against him, their cocks hard now against the thin barrier of clothing. He kissed Merlin, his mouth conjuring up the past as though their wedding night were only a day ago. Merlin wrapped his arms around Arthur's neck, holding him close.

Merlin stepped away from Arthur and undressed his pajama trousers, standing naked before him, Arthur's eyes turning hot. Arthur kissed him again, a demanding embrace that took Merlin's mouth fully captive. Merlin surrendered to Arthur's mouth, meeting his passion with his own feelings.

Merlin needed him so much, needed to know that he meant something to Arthur, even if for only this night. The lonely months fell away, and Merlin ached to join with Arthur.

Arthur lowered his mouth to Merlin's chest, his tongue swirling upon his husband's tight nipple. A throbbing feeling shot through Merlin's cock. With trembling hands, he unbuttoned Arthur's trousers, freeing his cock. Unable to resist, Merlin took him in his fist, stroking the smoothness of the length, the rounded head.

The expression on Arthur's face was of a man caught unaware. His eyes were closed, and he sucked in a breath when Merlin dragged his hand in a gentle friction along his cock. "I touched you like this before. Do you remember?"

Arthur shook his head, groaning when Merlin's thumb caressed the wetness coating the tip of his cock. His mouth crashed down upon Merlin's, a wicked kiss that made Merlin's body shiver.

Arthur trapped his husband's wrists, guiding Merlin backwards on to the bed. Merlin laid down upon the soft sheets, his erect cock slapping against his stomach, needing Arthur.

"You are my husband," Arthur whispered. "There is no one else."

A hot fist of desire caught up inside Merlin, and when Arthur stroked over his sensitive cock, Merlin's breath shattered. Blowing a light wisp of air against his husband's body, Arthur's mouth moved lower, lower still, while his hand still worked on Merlin's beautiful cock. Arthur's kiss edged up the inside of Merlin's thighs, tantalisingly close to his cock.

"I want to taste you."

Before Merlin could protest, Arthur's tongue licked him intimately, sliding over the smoothness of Merlin's length. Merlin arched his back, shaking with unfulfilled need. "Arthur-"

But Merlin could no longer speak when Arthur's tongue worked on his cock, pushing him closer to the edge. His hands gripped Arthur's hair, his legs wide open until the madness swept over him, rocking his hips with waves of pleasure.

"A-Arthur… please." Merlin breathed heavily.

"Shh… Merlin, just a little longer."

Arthur found his hand shaking as he moistened two fingers with his own saliva and finally pressing inside Merlin's tight hole, working him open.

"Come to me Arthur," Merlin begged.

Merlin felt the tip of Arthur's cock hovering at his entrance. Then he slid partway into his tight hole, using his body to tease Merlin. Merlin's breath spasmed as Arthur entered and withdrew in slow moves.

"A-Arthur, please!"

There was a moment's hesitation, before Arthur sank inside Merlin completely. Arthur held his husband's bottom, easing himself back and then filling Merlin again. The rhythm of his penetration caught hold until Merlin's body moved against his.

Merlin had been so innocent, so unknowing on their wedding night, and yet Arthur had made love to him until his body was sore the next morning. Sweet heaven above, how he'd missed Arthur.

Arthur forced Merlin's legs to wrap around his waist, deepening the strokes. He kissed Merlin's chest, sucking his nipples hard as he buried himself inside Merlin's tight hole. Merlin slid his hands down Arthur's back and grabbed his backside, his hands warm against Arthur's skin, their touch making the Earl shiver.

Merlin was shaking now, his body welcoming Arthur deep within. Arthur pounded his full length inside, seemingly growing harder. A rush of hot moisture flooded over Merlin's stomach, as his release hit him, and he bit back a scream, his tight hole squeezing Arthur's cock with aftershocks. Merlin saw Arthur's own release come seconds later, his hips flexing until he groaned out loud.

Arthur lay atop Merlin, his warm body covering him completely. Merlin couldn't stop from trembling. "Did I hurt you?" Arthur whispered.

"No." But Merlin offered no elaboration. He couldn't bring himself to confess how much he'd missed Arthur.

Arthur withdrew from inside Merlin, rolling his husband's back against him. He pressed a kiss upon Merlin's bare shoulder. "I need to return to Camelot."

"Why?"

"I want to speak with my uncle again, about the tattoo and the shipment." Arthur slid his palm over the smooth skin of Merlin's body. "And I want you and the children to remain here."

Merlin didn't like the thought of Arthur going off to fight an unseen enemy while he remained alone with the children. Thoughts of the solicitor's visit preyed upon his mind, and Merlin rolled over to face Arthur. "What about my Uncle Aredian?"

"What about him?"

"What if he tries to take the children from me while you are gone? Mr Hengist said I had to bring them to his estate."

"We will decide what to do when we see the testament. And as I said, I'll go and speak to him. Perhaps I can convince him to wait."

"A-And what if I have to give them up?" Merlin couldn't bear the thought.

Arthur's arms tightened around Merlin. "Then we must obey the law."

Merlin drew back and turned to face Arthur, unable to believe what he'd just said. "You'll just hand them over without fighting for them?"

Arthur's expression remained stoic. "Do you honestly believe I would give the children into a stranger's care?"

"I-I don't know." Merlin sat up, folding his arms around his waist. A brittle pain laced across his heart as he reached for his pajama trousers.

"You don't believe I'll protect them." Arthur's face darkened with resentment.

"I'm afraid." Raw images seared into Merlin's memory, of his laughing brother now gone, a cold corpse buried in the ground. "I don't want anyone to be hurt." Not the children not his husband. But the words wouldn't come forth.

"Trust in me," Arthur demanded. "The children are safer here than in Camelot. You know it as well as I."

"No, I don't know it. I was attacked here," Merlin argued. "We should stay together."

Arthur set his hands upon Merlin's shoulders, pulling him back into his embrace. "They want me dead, Merlin. Not the children."

Merlin couldn't allow himself to think about Arthur facing danger in Camelot. Flipping back the coverlet, he reached for his pajama trousers again, but Arthur stopped him.

"Let me look into the matter. I'll do what I can to make sure the children stay with us."

"I won't give them up," Merlin insisted, his eyes brimming up. "They're my children. Not my uncle's."

"You may not have a choice."

Did his husband truly mean that? Arthur didn't understand. Tristan and Freya were the only family Merlin had left. A storm of emotions tangled within Merlin's heart. "I don't care what the law says."

"I do."

Arthur's words shocked Merlin speechless. Would he truly follow the law, rather than keep their family together? The iron set to his jaw suggested Arthur would.

And Merlin could not remain with a man who would not defend those Merlin loved.


	30. Chapter 30

The mid-morning sun cut a blade of light through the drapes. In the solitude of his study, Arthur occupied himself with household ledgers. Merlin had ordered him to leave his room last night, which added to Arthur's foul mood. He had become the enemy again, and it irritated Arthur. After their lovemaking, he'd thought they were past this.

If the testament will did indeed grant guardianship of the children to Aredian Emrys, then the law protected those rights. Nevertheless, Arthur would not give Tristan and Freya over to a stranger's care without verifying the truth. He knew, better than Merlin, what kind of a threat they faced.

A knock sounded upon the door, and Arthur rose. Perhaps his husband had come to his senses and meant to apologise. Instead of Merlin, George stood at the entrance.

"Forgive me, my lord. These were sent by the solicitor, Mr Hengist." The butler handed Arthur a sheaf of papers.

"Thank you, George."

After the butler left, Arthur studied the sealed document. He found it strange that papers could wreak such havoc in their lives. Though he did not know for certain whether the document was legal, it did appear in order. Aredian Emrys was indeed named the guardian of Tristan and Freya, as Merlin had feared.

Arthur read the testament twice more, but could find nothing out of the ordinary. With no other recourse, he penned a note to his own solicitor. The only way to argue the law was with an expert. In the meantime, Arthur would obey the dictates, but only with the greatest of caution.

Merlin's uneasiness, that the testament had been found only upon Aredian's return, resonated with him as well. It was possible that the document was a forgery.

Aredian had invited them to stay, with the intention of leaving the children behind. It might be best to visit the man. Only then would he know whether or not Aredian was trustworthy. No time like the present, Arthur decided. And though his husband would be furious, Arthur wanted to see for himself what sort of man Merlin's uncle was.

ooOoo

The journey lasted a day and a half. To Arthur's surprise, Aredian's estate was magnificent, far surpassing his expectations. His coach circled around the gravel entrance, and Arthur noted the impeccable gardens and manicured lawns.

Although Merlin's uncle did not possess a title, his wealth rivalled any Baron or Earl. The Great Dragon Estate would have fit into a single wing. It led Arthur to question how Aredian Emrys could have led such a life of luxury while allowing his other family members to suffer in poverty. Unless Aredian had sent money and Will had squandered it, which was possible.

After Arthur disembarked from his carriage, a servant opened the frontdoor and accepted his card. He was led into a drawing room. Before long, a gentleman entered, smiling brightly. He leaned heavily upon a walking stick.

"You must be Earl Arthur Pendragon."

Arthur inclined his head, and the gentleman gestured for him to sit down. "I am Aredian Emrys. Delighted to meet you, I must say. When I heard that you'd come, I had hoped my nephew and the children would be with you."

"Maybe on another visit."

"Well, then, what brings you here? I assume this is about the testament." Before Arthur could reply, Aredian continued. "Terribly sorry to hear about my nephew Will. He always seemed to be pouring money into unfortunate investments. I regret that I could not be there to help him."

"He was in Avalon a year ago, did you see him?"

Aredian nodded. "Of course, of course. Will told me about some of his losses, and I loaned him funds." Shaking his head, he added, "I should have sent them directly to Merlin, it seems. I sent Will hundreds of pounds over the years, but I fear Merlin saw none of the benefit. I was gratified to hear that he married you, by the way. He's had too much hardship in his life."

Though the man's regret appeared genuine, Arthur wasn't entirely convinced that all was what it seemed to be. "How did you hear about our marriage?"

"Will wrote to me about it several months ago. He seemed to think his fortunes would change, now that Merlin was settled."

"About the children," Arthur began. "Merlin was quite upset to hear that his brother named you their guardian. He has been like a second father to them, all this time."

Aredian smiled warmly. "I am sure he has given them the best of care. But you see, at the time Will made out his testament, Merlin was unmarried with no prospects. We thought it best I oversee Tristan's inheritance, should anything happen to Will. And, unfortunately, his life was cut far too short." Aredian shook his head sadly.

"Why did it take you so long to return?" Arthur asked. "And, for that matter, Merlin says you never once visited him or the children."

Aredian rested his wrists upon his knees. "There has been unrest with the Druids, I'm afraid. My own estate in Avalon were threatened, and I've been preoccupied with them." He brightened. "But now that everything has been put to rights, I can atone for my mistakes. I'll confess," Aredian continued, "I have the selfish desire to spoil Will's children, since my wife and I were never blessed with our own."

Rising to his feet, Aredian leaned heavily on the cane. "Come, now. I should like for you to see the children's rooms. I fear, I went a bit mad with shopping. I couldn't decide what toys they would like, so I bought them all."

As Aredian led Arthur upstairs, the man had to stop at the landing to catch his breath. his wrinkled face gave an apologetic smile. "Forgive me, Pendragon. The effects of being old, I'm afraid." He leaned upon his cane and the banister, pausing a moment. His eyes glistened with intensity. "I'll always regret that I couldn't help my nephew Will. I blame myself for it." With a heavy sigh Aredian added, "But I look forward to seeing his children. And, as you can see, I have the funds to ensure their comforts."

Aredian continued up the stairs, leading Arthur to a nursery that was brimming with toys and dolls of every kind. It contained everything a child could want. And yet, Arthur hesitated about bringing Tristan and Freya here. Perhaps it was because he'd grown to care about them. He, too, was reluctant to see them go. But they had to obey the testament. There was no alternative.

"Will you bring Tristan and Freya here?" Aredian asked. "I fear travelling does not agree with me. And have Merlin come, as well. I should welcome the chance to see him again."

"He has his doubts about you," Arthur admitted. As did he, though he couldn't see anything wrong with the older man.

"Then allow me to set his mind at ease. All of you may stay for as long as you wish."

Arthur supposed he would have to accept the invitation. And he had no doubt that if anything were wrong, Merlin would discover it.

"I will let them know."

ooOoo

Upon his return to The Great Dragon Estate, Arthur decided to speak to Tristan first. But before he could seek out the boy, George awaited a chance to speak to him. Clearing his throat, the butler looked embarrassed.

"What is it?"

"The young boy gave us quite a bit trouble while you were gone, my lord. He climbed a tree and refused to come down."

"And what did my husband do?"

"He sent him to his room without supper. But I did promise the boy I would inform you of his actions."

"Would you care to trash him yourself, George?"

Scarlett suffused the butler's cheeks. "I would not dare, my lord. But the lad could use more discipline." His colour deepened to purple. "It is not my place to offer opinions, however."

"No, it is not. But I shall speak with him."

"Thank you, my lord." The butler bowed, keeping his gaze towards the floor as he left.

Arthur went upstairs to his room and retrieved the tin horse he'd brought back from Will's house, days ago. Then he knocked upon the door to Tristan's room. The imaginary sounds of battle and cannon explosions sounded from the boy's mouth. Arthur entered quietly, watching as Tristan clashed two tin soldiers in a pretend skirmish.

"I heard you were climbing trees again," Arthur began.

Tristan stopped the battle and grinned. "George couldn't reach me. He looked like a sausage, red and puffing, while he called for me to come down."

It wasn't hard to envision the butler's protesting and shouting, but Arthur knew he had to be firm. "You must respect your elders, Tristan. If you had fallen, you could have broken a bone. Perhaps your neck."

Arthur reached out and ruffled Tristan's hair, settling his palm on the boy's nape. He reached inside the pocket of his breeches and pulled out the toy horse. "Is this yours?"

Tristan's eyes widened, and a broad smile spread across his face. "It's Aithusa! I thought I lost it."

Arthur held the toy out of reach. "You owe George an apology for your actions. And this day you will follow him about his duties, helping him in whatever task he commands to you."

Though distase lined the boy's mouth, Tristan didn't argue. And to Arthur's surprise, Tristan wrapped his arms around his waist and hugged him. "Thank you, Uncle Arthur, for found Aithusa!"

The affectionate gesture caught Arthur unawares. He had tried to hug his own father once, after Morgana had died. His father had boxed his ears, claiming he wanted to be left alone. It angered Arthur that his father could not grant him a kind word or an embrace. Awkwardly, Arthur patted Tristan's shoulder.

"You're a good boy," Arthur said softly. "And a brave one." He hated having to import the news that Tristan would be leaving, even temporarily. A direct approach was the best way.

"Tristan, have you ever met your Great-Uncle Aredian?"

The boy shook his head. "He lives in Avalon."

"He used to live in Avalon, but not anymore. You'll be going to visit him tomorrow."

"I don't want to." Tristan made a neighing sound and placed one of his tin soldiers atop Aithusa."

Arthur stopped himself from saying, _You have no choice._ Instead he said," I wonder what sorts of adventures Aredian has had. Living in Avalon, he must have seen many exciting things."

"Do you think he could tell stories about the Druid's, like Edwin?"

Arthur held back a smile. "You could ask him and find out. It would only be a short visit. A few weeks, perhaps. Would that be all right?"

Tristan pondered the idea. "I want to stay here with you and Uncle Merlin."

"All of us can go together," Arthur suggested. "Freya wishes to go and hear his stories. She's told me how eager she is."

At that Tristan shot him a suspicious look. "Babies can't talk."

"Oh, but your sister can. You simply have to learn her language."

Tristan wrinkled his nose. "I don't believe you." Then he suddenly waved at the door.

Arthur turned and saw Merlin holding Freya in his arms.

"Look what Uncle Arthur brought me." Tristan cried. "He found Aithusa!"

Merlin's face softened, but Arthur detected the cool anger beneath the veneer of serenity.

"I'm so glad."

"And I might go and visit Great-Uncle Aredian. He's been to Avalon, you know."

At Tristan's revelation, Merlin's posture stiffened. He sent Arthur a look of fury before turning his back.

"I will see you at dinner this evening." Arthur told Tristan.

"Thank you for Aithusa, Uncle Arthur," the boy said again. His boyish face revealed pure happiness and Arthur was glad he'd thought to bring the toy.

"You are most welcome."

But although Tristan was considering the possibility of visit Aredian, Arthur sensed that Merlin would be much harder to convince.

ooOoo

Merlin remained silent all through dinner and when they were in his room.

"We've been invited to bring the children to your uncle," Arthur began. "I met with him, and I think he would provide Tristan and Freya a fine home and good education."

"You should have told me where you were going." Merlin said angrily.

"I wanted to investigate him myself," Arthur admitted.

"And what did you find?"

"Nothing. He has a large house and has purchased toys for the children. He seems eager to meet them."

"I know my brother. Will wouldn't have given Tristan and Freya to a stranger. Not after I married you."

"Will made his testament before we married. And Aredian isn't a stranger; he's Tristan and Freya's great-uncle."

Arthur came up behind Merlin and laid his hands upon his husband's shoulders to calm him. "The testament is legal, Merlin. And if we wish to petition for guardianship, we must follow the proper protocol. Defying the law will not help our cause."

"But Aredian has never even see the children." Merlin crossed his arms about his waist, turning to Arthur. "He doesn't know them the way I do. Tristan lost his mother when Freya was born. Now he's lost his father, too. I'm all they have."

"You are not all they have," Arthur said quietly. "They have me, as well. I promised you I'd protect Tristan and Freya." Why couldn't Merlin see Arthur as a part of their lives? It was though Merlin cut him off without a second thought. "I think we should go together when we take Tristan and Freya." Arthur slid his arms around Merlin's waist, drawing him closer. "If there is anything that bother you, we'll leave."

"You're not taking the children anywhere. They're staying here, where they belong."

"Do you think to defy the law?" Arthur kissed his husband's shoulder, trying to soothe his bad temper. "Come with me,Merlin. Meet him yourself."

"No. As I said, Tristan and Freya will not leave The Great Dragon Estate. And neither will I."

"Dammit Merlin! You're being ridiculous. Hasn't it occurred to you that this may be a place where you'll be safe? The last time I left for Camelot, you were attacked here. My enemies know where we are. It's only a matter of time before they find us."

"I don't want to go," Merlin said quietly. "Aredian never did anything for us while we were struggling to keep the estate running. Why would he help us now?"

"He's old Merlin. He admitted that he wanted make up for what happened years ago."

"I don't like it. And I don't want you taking Tristan and Freya, either."

"The testament states-"

"Hang the testament. If you try to take them, I'll find a way to stop you."

"How? By sabotaging the carriage?" The flicker of interest in Merlin's eyes made Arthur wish he hadn't made the sardonic remark.

"I will do whatever it takes."

ooOoo

Merlin couldn't breath with the suffocating rage infusing him. If Arthur thought he was going to take Tristan and Freya from him, then Arthur was sorely mistaken.

He paced the floor of his room, after Arthur left, trying to think. What could he do? He dismissed the idea of tampering with the carriage, for that would only hurt the children.

In the mirror, Merlin caught a glimpse of himself. His pale face appeared haunted and drawn. His hair was a mess, desperately in need of attention. Raising his palms to his cheeks, Merlin realised he would make any men or women run in horror. Simply dreadful.

He had to stop Arthur from leaving the house. Somehow, some way. If Arthur couldn't leave, then he couldn't take the children. Would seducing him change Arthur's mind? Merlin knew that a woman could control a man with her body. He glanced down at his own, doubtful he could do the same. Yet, Merlin didn't rule out the possibility. His skin prickled at the thought.

Merlin padded downstairs to the kitchen. The maids were sleeping in a corner of the room, and he tried to not to awaken them while he made himself a cup of tea. The scent of burning coal mingled with the faint aromas from the evening meal. The large wooden table held knife scars where the servants had sliced vegetables.

An idea formed, but there wasn't much time. But it might work. Merlin opened a drawer and searched for the sharpest knife he could find. This wouldn't be easy. But then again, nothing worth doing was easy.

Merlin lifted the knife and headed upstairs to Arthur's room.

 **I can't believe I've already written thirty Chapters - Wohoo! Thanks to all you lovely readers who follow the story from the beginning. I hope you enjoyed the ride so far. Greetings Chrissi**


	31. Chapter 31

The next morning, Arthur groaned. He'd slept poorly that night, wishing he could coax Merlin to go with him to Aeridian's residence. He pulled on a shirt, fumbling with the buttons in the darkness. When he was fully dressed, he reached for his riding boots and slid them on.

His foot went completely through the sole. The bottom of his boot hit the floor with a loud thunk. Arthur cursed and forced his foot into the other boot. Like the first, the boot had no sole. _What the hell?_

When he opened the wardrobe, Arthur realised someone had butchered every pair of shoes he owned. And he knew just who that someone was. He strode barefoot down the hallway to his husband's room. With a loud crash, Arthur threw Merlin's door open.

"Good Morning," Merlin muttered sleepily, yawning.

"Do not 'Good morning' me," Arthur demanded. "You ruined my best pair of riding boots!"

"Yes, I did. Now you won't be leaving the house." Merlin yawned and rolled over. "Close the door. I'm going back to sleep."

Arthur obeyed, but only to keep the servants from hearing their argument. "If you think such a childish trick will prevent me from leaving, you are wrong. I'll simply borrow shoes from George."

"You don't wear the same size."

"I'll leave whenever I damn well please, boots or not." Arthur sat down on the bed and threw back the covers, revealing a very naked Merlin in bed.

"Do you really wish to leave?" Merlin asked softly.

Arthur's words caught in his mouth. "You don't control me, Merlin."

"No?" Merlin's hand stripped away Arthur's shirt, so he sat bare-chested beside his husband.

Arthur didn't know what Merlin's intentions were, but so long as he was removing clothing, he did not particularly cared. "We're not finished arguing," he informed Merlin.

In response, Merlin pressed his chest against Arthur's skin. "No. We're not finished. I can see how angry you are."

Anger was the furthest thing from Arthur's mind at the moment. It took only moments to rid himself of the rest of his clothing. "I'm furious."

Arthur pushed Merlin onto his back, pulling his husband's hips against him, and Arthur's body reacted instantly. Too fast. He needed to slow Merlin down, take control of the situation. Arthur suspected his husband intended to seduce him. It was a blatant ploy to get his way. But Arthur had more restraint than Merlin knew.

He moved the tip of his cock to hover at Merlin's tight hole while his hand played with one nipple. Merlin gasped, the nibble pebbling in Arthur's fingertips. Though Merlin tried to bring Arthur inside him, Arthur kept him trapped in place. Arthur moved his mouth against the curve above Merlin's ribs. Then with his thumb, he teased Merlin's cock.

Merlin had gone too far this time, destroying his best pair of boots, and Arthur had a pleasurable punishment in mind. He slid the tip of his cock inside Merlin.

"Arthur?" he whispered, his tone begging.

Arthur withdrew, caressing Merlin's tight hole gently. Softly. Tormenting him in the darkest form of sexual pleasure. "Was there something you wanted?"

"You," Merlin breathed.

Arthur exhaled upon Merlin's bare skin, watching his nipples tighten with excitement. "Do you want me to kiss you?"

Merlin nodded, lifting his lips to Arthur's. Eager and urgent, he reached for Arthur. He took possession of Merlin, and his husband pressed his body close to his. Arthur's mouth vanquished his husband's lips, and Merlin moaned in surrender.

If this was Arthur's idea of punishment, Merlin intended to be disobedient every day for the rest of their marriage. He had missed this. Like a luscious slice of chocolate cake, Arthur tempted his past all reason.

Arthur ran his mouth over his husband's neck, down to his collar-bone and shoulders. His warm tongue tasted Merlin's sensitive skin, drawing close to his nipples, but not granting Merlin what he wanted.

Merlin's cock twitched, and Arthur startled him when he pushed his knees back to his chest. Spreading him apart, Arthur moved on top of Merlin and penetrated him deeply without preparation. Shocked, Merlin cried out at the wicked sensation. Arthur drew himself out, excruciatingly slow. Then he invaded Merlin's hole again. He pulled back, moving with such tormenting ecstasy that it bordered on pain.

Merlin didn't know when he had surrendered to Arthur, when he'd allowed him to command him. Somehow Arthur had regained the upper hand. The new position gave Arthur complete mastery of Merlin's body, letting him slide against every inch of him until he thought he would go mad.

Merlin shattered in Arthur's arms, the pleasure intensifying with each stroke. Arthur kept up the driving force until Merlin broke apart again, spiralling pleasure fisting deep within. Waves of need burst forth until at last Arthur took his own release.

Arthur wrapped the sheets around his husband, holding him close. Merlin wept silent tears, for this was what he'd wanted all along. Arthur, loving him again. But he had tried to use sexual pleasure as a weapon, to keep Arthur from sending the children away. Worse, Arthur knew it.

Merlin's body felt more weary than ever before. Safe in Arthur's arms, he closed his eyes. Only for a moment, Merlin thought. He'd slept for just a moment.

Later that morning, bright sunlight pierced through the curtains. Merlin awoke, filled with dread at the empty sheets beside him. When he went to find Arthur and the children, they had already gone.


	32. Chapter 32

"I am relying on you to remain with the children and alert me if there's anything suspicious about Mr Aredian Emrys," Arthur said to Anna, while the coach continued the journey toward Aredian's estate.

Though nothing had struck Arthur as unusual wrong, he wanted to be certain that all was well. Servants were notorious for gossiping, and likely if anything was amiss, Anna would hear about it.

Arthur handed the wet nurse a sovereign. "I will stay here until my husband arrives. Send word to me if anything goes wrong." Only then could he assess the true character of Merlin's uncle.

The wet nurse cradled Freya in her arms, her eyes wide. "Of course, my lord."

"After that, I will be in Camelot. I trust that you can get word to me, if I am needed." Anna nodded, but looked worried. "I will see to it that you are rewarded for your service," Arthur reassured her. "An extra year's wages will be added to your pay."

Anna's mouth opened in surprise. "I promise I will take good care of them, my lord. But-" she patted Freya on the back, her worry deepening "-are you certain your husband will come?"

"He will be arriving shortly," Arthur told the wet nurse. He had no doubt that Merlin was already on his way to Aredian's residence. And though he would hate him for this, Arthur had to keep them safe. Aredian, if he was truly the man he seemed, could provide a haven.

The problem was, convincing his husband to stay here. Never Arthur had met someone like Merlin, so determined and stubborn. He couldn't drive Merlin from his mind. The way his husband threatened him, and the way Merlin welcomed him into his arms… Leaving Merlin's soft warmth was harder than Arthur had thought it would be. He glanced down at the pair of cracked leather shoes he borrowed from a servant. _Such foolishness._

ooOoo

By the afternoon, they arrived at Aredian Emrys' estate. Robust and jolly, the man greeted them with enthusiasm. "So glad you've come Pendragon. And the children. Ah, you must be Tristan." Aredian bent down and smiled. "You're the image of your father, I must say."

Tristan drew back, but Arthur put his hand on the boy's shoulder for reassurance. "It's all right," Arthur said beneath his breath.

"I don't believe you were really in Avalon." Tristan kicked at the carpet, his face sullen.

"That I was, my boy." Tristan reached out for Arthur's hand, not at all convinced. Aredian sent Arthur a wink. "And this must be Freya. Oh my, you are a pretty little thing."

Freya buried her face in Arthur's neck and wailed. Although Anna offered to take her, Arthur refused to hand Freya over just yet. He soothed the little girl, rubbing gently her back.

Arthur accompanied the children to their rooms, hoping that Tristan would brighten with all the toys. Instead the boy clenched one of his toy soldiers. "I want you to stay, Uncle Arthur," he pleaded.

"I shall. But as soon as your uncle Merlin arrives, I must return to Camelot. It will be only for a short while."

Freya rubbed her eyes, whining to go to sleep, and Arthur exchanged glances with Anna. The nurse nodded in silent understanding. The little girl unleashed a furious howl when Arthur handed her over to Anna, crying out, "Pa, pa, pa!" Though he was not her father, he'd wanted nothing more than to turn around and sweep the little girl into his arms. Leaving her behind would be even more difficult than he'd thought.

But it was only temporary. As soon as he spoke with his solicitor, Arthur would try to coax Aredian into giving back custody of the children.

Arthur leaned down and touched Tristan's shoulder. "It's late. Best get to bed." The boy glowered at Aredian before he took Anna's hand and let her take him into the bedroom.

"It will take time for them to know me," Aredian said sadly. From the look of longing on his face, no doubt he'd been disappointed by the children's reaction.

"Indeed." As Arthur followed a servant to his own room, he tried to dismiss the uneasiness creeping over him.

This was for the best, Arthur knew. Though he'd have preferred to bring Merlin and the children together, his husband had made his feelings quite clear. Only in this manner, could Arthur ensure that Merlin made the journey.

Arthur grimaced, wishing he'd thought to take the rest of his wardrobe with him. He didn't like to imagine the state of his shirts at the moment, given what Merlin had done to his boots.

ooOoo

Merlin's body was numb, and cold with fear as the coach pulled up to his uncle's residence. The estate sprawled across acres of green fields, a stone manor with turrets similar to a castle.

Arthur had known he would come after them. In fact, he'd had a coach waiting, along with Merlin's packed belongings and two servants. Though Merlin had tried to catch up to them, his coach had been mired in the muddy roads, and they'd lost several hours on the journey. Then, too, he'd had to spend the night at an inn along the way. Even with his escorts, Merlin had hardly slept at all, worrying about someone following him.

Now, it had been a full day since he'd last seen Arthur and the children. Merlin had missed Tristan and Freya desperately, his heart sick with fear. How could Arthur have left him behind? It infuriated him that Arthur had done it, and Merlin intended to blister his husband's ears once he saw him again. Right now, the very thought of Arthur made him want to strangle him.

Merlin moved as if in trance as he disembarked from the coach. Aredian lived like a king, but it made Merlin even more nervous at the thought. Though he was wealthy, it did not mean he would treat the children well.

A middle-aged servant with brown hair welcomed Merlin, accepting his belongings, before leading him into the parlour. "Mr Emrys hoped you would come," he said. "I am Smith, and if there is anything I can do to ensure your comforts, you need only to give the orders. I've arranged for refreshments, and I shall inform Mr Emrys of your arrival."

Merlin did not sit, but studied the room. Oil paintings of landscapes hung on intervals, along with portraits he recognised. He saw his mother and father, and a deep loss cut through him. He had been only fourteen years old when his mother died of consumption. And Father had… Merlin winced at the memory, not wanting to relive his father's death.

"Merlin?"

He turned and saw Aredian. His uncle gave him a warm smile. "I am delighted you have come. I hope you will stay for a while?"

Merlin did not answer the question. He had come with the intention of taking Tristan and Freya back to The Great Dragon Estate. Without prelude, Merlin demanded, "Where are the children?"

"They are playing upstairs in the nursery. Would you care to see them? I promise you, I have not sent them to a work house or enslaved them.." Aredian's eyes gleamed with amusement.

"Yes, I want to see them."

"Come then." Aredian leaned heavily upon a walking stick, and from his slow, steady movement, Merlin realised Arthur was right. Aredian's age revealed a weakness he'd not expected, and Merlin saw the pain Aredian tried to hide as he moved up the stairs.

"What about my husband?" Merlin tried to keep his voice nonchalant, but the nerves broke through. "Is he here?"

Aredian tilted his head, stopping to catch his breath. "He is out riding, I believe. He told me you would arrive soon." He led Merlin down the west wing, and gestured toward one of the doors. "The nursery is here."

Aredian was about to open it, but Merlin stopped him. "A moment, please." Aredian inclined his head, and Merlin gently eased the door open. Inside, he saw Tristan playing with his tin soldiers. The soldiers were lined up around a wooden castle, complete with catapults and wooden carts. Tristan clashed the soldiers together in a mock battle.

Freya was grasping the edge of a toy chest, holding fast while taking steps around it. The little girl reached out to accept a biscuit from Anna. As soon as she saw Merlin, Freya's face lit up. "Dada-Dada-Dada," she chortled. Then she crawled towards Merlin, determined to reach her uncle with all haste.

Merlin scooped the little girl up, cuddling her close. He hadn't even known it was possible to miss the children this much. It was evident they were well treated.

Then Tristan spied him. "Uncle Merlin! There you are." The boy flew into Merlin's arms, squeezing him tight.

"Are you enjoying your visit?" Merlin asked while Freya clutched his tunic.

Tristan shrugged, seemingly uninterested. "There are lots of toys."

"I was just telling Tristan that he should come with me tomorrow to help choose his own horse. He'll have to decide what colour he wants." Aredian smiled indulgently.

The blatant bribery incensed Merlin. How dare Aredian try to entice his nephew by offering a horse? But Tristan seemed unaware of it, and he returned to his tin soldiers. The boy's lack of excitement made Merlin wary.

"Why don't we go and have a chat?" Aredian suggested. "I'm certain you must have many questions for me." He opened the door and gestured for Merlin to accompany him.

Merlin handed Freya back to Anna. The little girl let out a screech, but Merlin dropped a kiss on the child's cheek, stroking her hair. To Tristan he added, "I will see you later, Tristan."

When they were alone, Merlin commented, "Do you feel it necessary to buy Tristan's affections? He is more intelligent than that."

Aredian's smile faded. "Is it wrong to provide the boy with the things he wishes to have? You would do the same, were you in my position." As before, it took Aredian some length of time to descend the stairs, but at last they reached the parlour.

"Why should I believe you want to provide Tristan and Freya with toys and luxuries when you never lifted a finger to help the rest of our family?"

"Now that's not true at all. As I told the Earl, I sent money to your father and your brother every year. It might not have been a fortune, but certainly it was enough to feed and clothe your family."

"You sent nothing," Merlin replied angry at Aredians lies. "You abandoned us and went to Avalon."

Aredian's face paled. "Is that what Will told you?" He looked visibly shaken. "I knew he gambled some, but all of it? You truly thought I never cared?" An expression of pity moved over Aredian's face. "No wonder you must hate me so."

Aredian led Merlin inside the parlour and sank down upon a deep-green wingback chair, signalling towards a maid, who brought a tray of tea and refreshments.

"Lizzy, would you pour, please? I'm afraid my hands aren't strong as they used to be:"

The maid did, and Merlin noticing that Aredian's face was worn and haggard. Deep lines creased his mouth as he added sugar to the tea cup. His uncle took a sip, his hands trembling.

Aredian cleared his throat. "I still cannot believe that Will withheld everything from you. It doesn't seem possible." He set the cup upon the saucer. "I do not know what happened to the money, but I must explain matters to you. In particular about the children. First, did Will ever mention Tristan's inheritance?"

Merlin thought of Will's desperate attempts to bring in more money. "I don't think there was anything left for Tristan, except the entailed lands."

Aredian's concern doubled. "A few years ago, Will contacted me about a shipping investment he wanted to make. He borrowed money from me. The ship turned wonderful profits, enough to support the family in a fine manner. Then, from what I heard, he gambled the fortune away at the tables."

Merlin did not deny it, but he had difficulty believing Will would risk their future. "He did gamble, but often he brought home money to us."

Aredian's face sobered. "Will gambled a great deal more than that, Merlin. Which brings me to the children. I saw what was happening to your family, and I made an agreement with your brother last year. I would loan him money on another shipping venture, but with one condition. You must understand, Will was gambling away Tristan's future. I could not let it happen. And so, I asked Will to grant me guardianship of the children. Your brother changed his testament accordingly. We took the profits and set the funds aside for Tristan's inheritance. I am sure you believed I had something to gain by becoming the children's guardian," Aredian said. "But in all honesty, I was merely trying to protect Tristan and Freya." A sad smile creased Aredian's face. "I presume that Will never told you where he'd hidden the money for Tristan's inheritance."

Merlin shook his head. "I knew nothing." He set down his own cup, a sudden fear rising. He eyed his uncle, but Aredian seemed to anticipate his worries.

Aredian smiled. "I can tell what you are thinking, but as you can see, money has never been a problem for me. And, I'm certain the funds will turn up. In the meantime, I've been wanting to congratulate you on your recent marriage."

Merlin would not let his uncle distract him from the subject of the children. "Why did you want guardianship of the children?" he asked. "As you said you have nothing of it."

Aredian's eyes softened, the lines growing deeper as he smiled. "I feel as though Will has given me the chance to be a father. I want to experience that joy. Is there no greater gain than to watch a child grow up?" Aredian's countenance transformed into a wistful smile. "I can understand your reluctance to let them go. Tristan is such a mischievous young boy and Freya a pure delight."

If Aredian were lying, it did not seem so. His interest in the children appeared sincere, and there could be no doubt that he had offered them the greatest comfort.

"If you wish to stay with us while your husband travels to Camelot," Aredian suggested, "it may ease your mind. The Earl mentioned that he has business to attend there."

Merlin thought of the bitter argument between himself and Arthur. Perhaps it would be not so bad if he stayed with Tristan and Freya. At least then, he would know they were safe from harm.

Merlin nodded slowly. His uncle rang a bell and when the servants appeared, Aredian made all the necessary arrangements. It was rather like being battered by a jovial thunderstorm.

Aredian leaned forward at smiled at his nephew. There was no trace of guile, no falsehood in his eagerness. "Now I would love to hear the story of your marriage. Tell me everything."

Merlin couldn't believe he was drinking tea with the man who wanted to take Tristan and Freya from him. But he explained the story of their elopement, and Aredian beamed to hear it.

"Excellent. I am delighted to hear that you've made such a splendid match, "Aredian said. "I am certain you'll want to go and speak to your husband," Aredian remarked. "It warms my heart to see your tender feelings."

Missing Arthur was not exactly what Merlin felt at the moment. Confusion mingled with anger, perhaps. "We are married nothing more."

"I've upset you. Forgive me," Aredian said. "I truly have only your best interests at heart." He stood and moved towards the door. "I shall leave you alone. In the meantime, my servants will prepare a room for you. You may stay as long as you desire."

ooOoo

After his uncle had left, Merlin paced across the parlour. Aredian's words bothered him more than he wanted to admit. He crossed the room and watched the children, who had gone to play outside. Merlin was envious of their freedom and their innocence. They would have all the opportunities he had not received. He would stay and guard Tristan and Freya himself. And he would try not to think of Arthur.

A soft knock interrupted Merlin's thoughts. He turned and saw Arthur standing there. His husband wore riding clothes, impeccably shaped to his body. Arthur's blonde hair looked as though the wind had mussed it, and Merlin gripped his hands together to keep from straightening a wayward strand.

"You were supposed to arrive yesterday," Arthur said by way of greeting.

"Why did you bring the children?" Merlin demanded. "I told you before, I'm not giving them up."

"I don't expect you to. But you can pretend to be upholding the testament while I speak to my solicitor in Camelot. I want you to stay here, with Aredian, so that you're all protected."

"How do I know it's safe?"

"It's the best I can do. I won't leave you back at The Great Dragon Estate." Arthur glanced at the door and lowered his voice. "And I know that you or Anna will send word to me, if anything appears wrong."

"I still don't like this. You're risking too much, by going to Camelot alone."

"I'd rather go alone than risk anything happening to you or the children." Arthur moved forward, taking Merlin into his arms.

Merlin lowered his forehead to Arthur's shoulder. "You're not invincible, Arthur." There had been two attempts upon his life already, and there was bound to be another. Merlin's worry magnified at the thought.

"I need to end this. I won't live my life always looking over my shoulder. Someone wants me dead, and I need to know why." Arthur kissed Merlin lightly. "I believe you'll be safe here. And if anything happens to make you distrust Aredian, I know you'll notify me immediately.

"Don't get yourself killed," Merlin warned.

If any man laid a finger upon his _Arthur,_ he would live to regret it.


	33. Chapter 33

"Why is he still alive?"

The assassin lowered his gaze. He chose his words carefully, fearing consequences for his failure. "It has been more difficult to kill Earl Arthur Pendragon than I anticipated."

"The man gave a ball on full view of everyone in Camelot. He has not hidden from us. You could have taken care of him at any moment."

"He was in public, not alone. And his husband and the children were with him on other occasions. You did not wish for them to be harmed, I believe?" The assassin enjoyed seeing the look of irritation.

"What of the evidence? Have the ledgers been destroyed?"

"There was nothing to be found."

"Imbecile. The Earl always keeps records. Did you believe he would leave them for anyone to find?"

"He did not have time to hide anything."

"I will not take that chance. Search everywhere until you find them. I'll not risk having my reputation destroyed because of him."

"As you wish." The assassin relaxed, since it did not appear there would be repercussions for his initial failure. "He is alone and unprotected now. It will be an easy matter to kill him."

"Good. I want him dead. Fail me again and you will suffer for it."

ooOoo

In the past few days, Aredian had sent a dressmaker to outfit Merlin according to his rank as Earl Arthur Pendragon's husband. Merlin also spent hours upon lessons. His uncle had hired tutors, and Merlin absorbed every bit of information, determined not to be defeated by his earlier failures. He would win the battle against the ghosts of his past.

Living with his uncle was like living with Father Christmas. Aredian had bought not one pony, but two - one for Tristan and one for Freya. Merlin had protested that Freya would not need it, since she had only just begun taking her first steps. With her arms outstretched for balance and her chubby legs bowed, the little girl seemed determined to master walking within a few weeks. But his uncle did not want Tristan to receive gifts that Freya did not also have.

Though Merlin felt uncomfortable about his uncle's generosity, Aredian ignored his protests and bought whatever he wished. His wealth appeared endless, and despite what he'd said, Merlin couldn't quite let go of his resentment about his family's years of struggling.

Maybe Will and his father had spent all the money. Maybe it had been lost at the gaming tables. But the fact remained: regardless of what Aredian had sent, Merlin had not seen a penny of his uncle's support.

ooOoo

That night, Merlin buried his face in the coverlet, warming his body with the hot brick placed by a servant. He was restless, and he reached out towards the empty side of the bed.

Being without Arthur bothered him more than he'd thought it would. He'd had nightmares about Arthur dying, reliving the moments of when he'd been missing. Merlin couldn't bear it if something happened to him.

Merlin remembered Arthur's touch, the handsome cast of his face, the way his eyes would devour him. He missed his husband. _Oh, he was so weak_. Merlin had even ordered him several new pairs of boots and shoes to atone for his earlier tantrum. As if that would make it all right again.

His heart thudded when the door to his room creaked open. Merlin swallowed hard. "Hello?" he whispered. There came no reply.

Blood pounded in Merlin's veins at the idea of an intruder entering his room. By God, he wasn't going to cower beneath the covers while someone tried to slit his throat. As soon as the person drew nearer, Merlin sprang into motion, cracking the brick across the intruder's head. At the contact, a man yelped.

Cursing with pain, he slid the floor. "I should have known you'd do something like that."

The familiar voice of his husband transformed Merlin's fear into dismay. "Arthur?" Horrified, Merlin turned up the lamp light. Arthur clutched his head, blood seeping from his temple.

"I suppose this is a quicker way to die than from poison. But you didn't strike me hard enough."

"What are you doing in my room?" Merlin found a handkerchief and pressed it to Arthur's head.

"Visiting you, obviously. But I see you haven't forgiven me for going off to Camelot." He groaned when Merlin increased the pressure to stop the bleeding. "Aredian seems to be taking good care of you."

"He is," Merlin admitted. "But I don't like staying behind while you go off to get yourself killed."

"You nearly killed me just now."

"It's a good thing my aim did not strike true."

Arthur leaned closer, resting his head against his husband's naked body while Merlin held the handkerchief to his temple. "You should have announced your presence."

"But that would have ruined the surprise."

"It might have saved your head." Merlin's hand moved to touch Arthur's temple. The bleeding had stopped, but a vicious swelling rose up.

"How are the children?" Arthur asked.

"Well enough. Aredian is spoiling them, but Tristan keeps asking when you're coming back. I think he misses you." Merlin ran his palm over Arthur's cheek. "Aredian wants to bring us to Camelot. He spoke of re-introducing me into society." Merlin hadn't yet made up his mind on whether to go. His uncle kept insisting that he face his fears.

"No. I want you to remain here, out of harm's way."

Merlin didn't argue. "You seem to have brought yourself into harm's way." Lightly Merlin touched the wound again, and Arthur hissed. "I am sorry for this."

"You could kiss me to atone for it."

As if a single kiss would heal all between them. Merlin had longed to see Arthur again so much, in spite of everything. Now that he was here, his willpower crumbled into dust. Before he could think, Arthur met his lips, tracing them with his tongue. Threads of desire spun a silken web of need through Merlin's skin.

Was it truly that horrible if he let Arthur make love to him? Did that make him weak? _Of course it did_.

"What about the testament." Merlin whispered. "You went to investigate it. Can we overturn the custody of the children?"

"Why can you not close your sweet mouth for ten minutes until I've finished ruining you?"

Ten minutes was not such a bad thing. And when Arthur's mouth lowered to torment his nipples, Merlin lost the memory of everything he'd meant to ask Arthur.

Arthur hauled Merlin to his feet before he could change his mind and lowered him upon his stomach on the bed. Parting his cheeks, he slid his tongue inside Merlin's hole. Merlin gasped, his body fully ready for Arthur within a few minutes.

"I thought about you each day since I left," Arthur murmured between soft strokes with his tongue.

 _And I thought of you_ , Merlin wanted to say. But he could not speak at all when Arthur's hard cock invaded his tight hole. The position made Merlin completely vulnerable to Arthur, powerless to move as he drove inside Merlin.

Arthur trapped his husband's hands, filling him with every inch of himself. The fierce rhythm kept Merlin breathless, his body shuddering with the roughness of Arthur's lovemaking. With their hands, interlaced, Arthur penetrated that sweet spot inside Merlin. Faster Arthur moved, driving himself deep within until Merlin cried out at the sensations that poured through him. A rising ecstasy fragmented his body until he grasped the sheets, spilling all over the bed, his tight hole milking Arthur's cock.

After Arthur met his own release, he kept moving gently within Merlin. At last he lay atop his husband, his body still joined with Merlin's.

 _I love him_ , Merlin realised. _And he's going to leave me again_.

"Don't go back to Camelot," Merlin whispered.

"I have to." Slowly Arthur withdrew from Merlin, then turned him over. "But I'll stay for this night."

"I'd rather go with you, than be left behind again. Surely if I travel with Aredian, we'll be safe. The man has enough money to hire an army."

"And I spent every second worrying about you." Arthur shook his head. "No. You'll stay here. I'm going to meet with my uncle Agravaine in a few days. Find out what he knows."

Merlin didn't say anything, for now he wanted Arthur to hold him until the morning. Eyes dry, Merlin's heart filled with apprehension. It was hard to sleep, just thinking of Arthur in danger.

In the morning, Merlin awoke to an empty space beside him. He touched the sheets, feeling the warmth where Arthur's body had lain all night. Lowering his cheek, Merlin closed his eyes as if to imagine Arthur there once more.

And when at last he opened his wardrobe to choose his clothes, every single pair of his shoes was gone.

ooOoo

"You wanted to see me, Arthur?" Agravaine rose from his chair where the servant had bade him wait.

"I did, yes. Please make yourself comfortable." Arthur gestured towards the chair again. He offered a smile in greeting, though he was wary of his uncle.

Arthur had asked Agravaine to meet him at his father's house, rather than his uncle's own residence. It was unlikely that Agravaine would attempt an attack in so public a venue, if he had been involved with Will's death or the attempt upon his nephew's own life.

"Have you learned more about the stolen profits from _The Lady Valiant_?" Agravaine enquired.

"Not yet."

A tea service awaited the two men on a side table, the cups already poured. His stepmother's cat Gili rubbed against his legs as Arthur seated himself. A low purr emerged from the feline's throat. The creature would eat anything, it seemed, and already it was begging for food.

Arthur addressed his uncle. "The last time I saw you, you revealed the tattoo on your arm," he began. "May I see it again?"

Agravaine frowned, but rolled up his sleeve. "Bad times, weren't they, Arthur? Will Emrys and I were lucky to escape Avalon with our lives."

"You were with him?"

"I was. Damned Druids, they were inspecting the ships. They thought Emrys and I were involved in opium shipments, if you can believe it. Between you and me…" Agravaine leaned forward, lowering his voice, "I think Emrys might have been smuggling it. He kept disappearing with that servant of his. Wouldn't say where they were going or why. With my blasted luck, I got caught and blamed with him." Agravaine coughed, his face deepening in colour.

Arthur studied his uncle's tattoo, noticing the puckered skin surrounding it. "They branded you."

"Yes. And I spent a good deal of money buying our lives. The penalty for opium smuggling is execution."

A prickle of uneasiness rose upon the back of Arthur's neck.

"What about you?" Agravaine asked. "How did you receive your marking?"

Arthur didn't want to admit that he had no memory of the tattoo. He hedged, saying, "Like you, I was merely in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Agravaine grunted. "Unlucky, that's what." He took a sip of tea and offered Arthur the plate of biscuits. "Could use a bit luck right now. Wish I knew what happened to the shipment profits."

Arthur took one biscuit, but did not eat it. "Have you received any more threatening notes?"

"Yes. Last week." Agravaine poured himself more tea. "I borrowed money to pay the bastard that first time. But I can afford another payment. He wants the money by tomorrow."

Arthur passed his uncle the plate of biscuits, but Agravaine refused, patting his stomach. "I'm afraid I can't. Too much of a good thing, you know."

"Who do you think is demanding the money?"

"One of the investors, I presume. Someone who thinks I know where the stolen funds are."

"And you think Will Emrys took the money?"

"I know he did. Who else could it have been? We both know how much he lost at the gaming tables. The man was desperate. He would have done anything to redeem his debts."

The cat had begun purring more insistently, bumping at Arthur's fingers. He allowed the feline to have the biscuit, his appetite gone. The cat licked at the powdered sugar, nudged in once and abandoned it.

Agravaine leaned in. "If you find that list of investors, I want to know about it."

Arthur inclines his head, though he had no intention of disclosing any information. "I'll advise you if I discover anything." Arthur rose, and escorted Agravaine to the door. "Good Afternoon, Uncle."

His uncle departed, and Arthur was still convinced that he's played a role in the lost shipment. Agravaine kept trying to place blame upon Will Emrys, and though Arthur could not fault it, his suspicions grew.

Arthur returned to the parlour, sitting down before the hearth. He steepled his fingers, trying to think. What had he missed? Closing his eyes, he struggled to piece together the images of that night.

The memories remained locked away, despite his attempts to uncover them. He suspected he would not learn more until he had found the list of investors. Someone had stolen the profits from _The Lady Valiant_. Someone who needed money.

Silence permeated the room, and Arthur was about to leave when he noticed the motionless body of the cat. His spine grew rigid when he realised it was dead. Beside the cat lay the abandoned biscuit.


	34. Chapter 34

The familiar silhouette of Camelot greeted Merlin as he disembarked from the coach. Aredian had insisted that he come with him on his trip to town. Although Arthur would be angry, Merlin didn't want to remain at his uncle's country estate.

Merlin followed his uncle into his town residence. The house was every bit as grand as the country estate with white window sills against a dark brick facade. They had, of course, brought the children with them, for Merlin would not even consider leaving them behind. Tristan had whined and moped, at first, but brightened when Merlin mentioned seeing Arthur.

The very thought of seeing Arthur again filled him with trepidation. Arthur wasn't going to be pleased with him. And if he dared set foot in society, as Aredian wished him to do, he'd be furious. _Was it only because of the danger? Or was Arthur ashamed of him?_ The self-doubts still plagued him, multiplying with each hour.

In the past few weeks, Aredian had tried to build up Merlin's confidence in practising dancing. His uncle had shared long talks with him in the evening, encouraging him and listening when Merlin confessed his fears. Merlin had come to see his uncle as a lonely man who wanted to fill his days with Tristan and Freya. But Merlin still, didn't want to give them up, regardless of what Will's testament stated.

Aredian had been especially indignant when he'd learned of Lord Uther's refusal to recognise Merlin as Arthur's husband. He vowed to forced Lord Uther into accepting Merlin.

Tomorrow night, he planned to escort his uncle to Lady Mercia's ball. _How would Arthur react when he arrived?_ Arthur did not want him here; he had made that quite clear. Neither did Lord Uther. When Merlin arrived at the ball, it would be without their knowledge.

Merlin was strongly tempted to pay a call upon his husband, to warn him of his intent. Oh, Arthur would be angry all right. But it would be worse if he learned of Merlin's arrival at the ball. Better to let him know sooner, rather than later.

ooOoo

As the carriage passed by, Merlin saw Arthur's stepmother Lady Helena leaving Pendragon House. "Stop," he ordered the driver. _This is not a good idea_ , his common sense chided. _Lady Helena will want nothing to do with you._

Merlin disembarked from the carriage, forcing a smile, he greeted Arthur's stepmother. "Good day, Lady Helena."

She pretended as if she hadn't heard him, and walked past Merlin without speaking. Unwilling to be ignored, Merlin stopped her. "Lady Helena, I-"

Her face grew weary. "Do not try to see Arthur. Lord Uther has forbidden you to set foot in our house, and it is better if you leave."

"He's here?" Merlin had expected him to be at their town house residence.

Lady Helena accepted help from a servant in boarding her own carriage. "Yes, he's here." She smoothed her skirts and offered a sympathetic look. "Let him go, Merlin. It is best for all of us. Arthur should have never married you, even if you were friends long ago."

"I am the son of a Baron," Merlin said firmly. "Not the offspring of a chimney sweep."

"You know nothing of our lives. You'll never understand."

"You are right. I don't understand why you all try to manipulate Arthur this way. He made his choice."

"He made his choice to leave you and return home," Lady Helena said, her words striking like a knife in Merlin's heart. "As far as Camelot society is concerned, you trapped him into marriage, and Arthur wants nothing to do with you. If you try to claim differently, you will be branded as a liar. You should remain in the countryside where you belong."

Lady Helena closed the door to the carriage, leaving Merlin behind. He felt as though he'd taken a blow to his stomach. What had happened to turn Lady Helena against him? _You don't belong here. They won't ever accept you._

Did Arthur feel the same way? Merlin thought of the last time he'd seen him, when Arthur had sneaked inside his room. Merlin's body warmed at the memory of the way Arthur had made love to him.

No. He couldn't believe that Arthur's actions were a lie. He had to feel something for Merlin. And Merlin wasn't about to let go of his husband without a fight.

Merlin strode up the steps to Pendragon House, rapping sharply at the door. Cedric nearly closed the door in his face when the servant saw who it was. Merlin trapped his hand in the door frame. "I am here to see my husband. He will be most displeased if I am denied entrance."

"I have orders from Lord Uther-"

Without waiting for permission, Merlin forced his way across the threshold. "You risk your position if you deny me the right to see my husband."

"I'll lose my position if Lord Uther finds out," Cedric muttered, but he didn't stop Merlin. "You may await Earl Arthur in the drawing room."

The servant led Merlin to a room decorated in shades of sea green and lilac. Cedric bowed, leaving Merlin alone in the room. He tried to don a calm presence of mind. With each passing minute, Merlin longed to pace the room. Where was Arthur? Would he refuse to see him?

The sound of movement drew Merlin's attention. Anger punctuated Arthur's stride, fury lined in every muscle of his frame. Callous blue eyes incinerated Merlin with the full force of Arthur's wrath.

"You were supposed to remain in the country," Arthur said in a tight voice.

"I am glad to see you, too." Merlin said and noted that Arthur made no move to embrace or greet him.

Arthur turned his back on him, staring out the window. Tensions ridged his spine, his knuckles resting upon the windowpane. "You put yourself in danger by coming here."

"Myself in danger? You were the one who came here alone to confront your enemies." Merlin walked to stand beside him.

The scent of Arthur's shaving soap evoked the memory of his naked body atop his own. Merlin closed his eyes, unable to stop himself from thinking of it. Arthur kept his distance, and Merlin wondered what it would take to break apart the wall between them.

"You're here with Aredian?"

"Yes. And the children. My uncle intends to introduce me into society properly."

Arthur's temper erupted. "I cannot recall when I've heard a more ridiculous idea. Does he intend to parade you in front of my attacker?"

"Should I have remained at my uncle's home, alone, while he came to Camelot? He brought most of his household with him. It was safer to accompany him."

"You don't understand what you're dealing with, Merlin." Arthur advanced upon him, closing the distance. "Show some sense. Twice, someone has tried to kill me, and yet you behave as though you are immune to peril."

"You're behaving the same way." And without letting him speak, Merlin leaned forward and kissed Arthur. Arthur's lips touched his with such gentleness, Merlin wanted to weep. Dear God, if anything happened to Arthur, he'd never forgive himself.

Arthur's blue eyes grew troubled. "I want you to return to your uncle's estate. Wait for me there."

Merlin shook his head. "I won't stand back and let you die."

"I have no intention of dying."

"Neither did Will. But intentions cannot stop a bullet."

Arthur's palm caressed Merlin's nape, his fingers threading into his hair. The familiar touch, the sudden transformation of anger into desire, made Merlin shiver. His thumb grazed a path towards Merlin's ear. Arthur embraced him tightly, and though he spoke nothing of his own feelings, no words were needed. Arthur's nose brushed against Merlin's temple, his mouth against his cheek.

"I investigated the testament, as you asked. And Aredian is indeed the guardian of Tristan and Freya," Arthur said. "We could argue the matter in court, if you want to pursue it further. But I doubt if we'd win."

"I want them back Arthur," Merlin admitted. "But my uncle has taken good care of the children. And of me."

Arthur stepped back, his gaze passing over Merlin. "You look gorgeous."

Merlin blushed. _Now or never._ "I plan to escort my uncle to Lady Mercia's ball tomorrow."

"No." The edge in Arthur's voice held a warning. "You're not going." Merlin's anger flared up, but Arthur continued, "I don't want you hurt, Merlin. Not by the man who wants me dead. And not by the society who could cut you down."

Before Merlin could protest, Arthur stole another kiss. Temptation beckoned Merlin to lose himself with Arthur once more. Without thinking, he reached up to touch Arthur's blonde hair, letting his arms settle around Arthur's neck.

"The society would not cut me down if you acknowledge me as your husband."

"I can't do that. Not until this is over."

Although he knew Arthur meant only to keep him out of danger, his words bruised Merlin's heart. As if he weren't good enough for him. Though Merlin knew it was foolish, he could not stop himself from thinking it.

"How long?" Merlin asked.

"I don't know."

The wall rose up between them again, only this time, Merlin felt angry. He deserved to stand at his husband's side, more so than any débutante. "I'm not leaving Camelot."

"You are playing a dangerous game, Merlin." Arthur's hand captured Merlin's wrist in an unmistakable warning.

Merlin knew it. But blind obedience had gained him nothing. It was time to seize control and fight for what he wanted. His heart constricted in his chest as he leaned close. Arthur's spicy scent drew him in, reminding him of the nights they'd spent in each other's arms.

"I am not going to run away this time." Merlin explained, letting his palms splay against Arthur's chest. "I won't be your husband in private any longer, if you won't let me be your husband in public." His arms wrapped around Arthur's waist, his hips pressing close to Arthur's.

Desire flashed in Arthur's eyes, but he didn't move.

"You have a choice to make, Arthur." Merlin drew back. "At Lady Mercia's ball, tomorrow night."

The gauntlet had been thrown; the next move was Arthur's.


	35. Chapter 35

His day was rapidly getting worse, Arthur thought acidly. First, there had been the attempt on his life - again. Second, his _stubborn_ husband had arrived in Camelot without his permission. And, he hadn't told anyone about the poisoned cat not even the servants. He didn't know who to trust any more.

After disposing the cat's body in the garden, Arthur was more convinced of his uncle's guilt. He had offered refreshments, and Agravaine had declined. His uncle had also been in the parlour waiting for him, long enough to add poison to the food.

But again, why? Why did anyone want him dead? Were they afraid he'd remember something?

Arthur kept one of the biscuits and strode down to the kitchen. The typical noise came to an abrupt halt when he entered. He held up the biscuit to the cook, Mrs Miller. "Did you prepare these today?"

The stout, red-cheeked woman frowned. "Of course, my lord. But there was no powdered sugar upon them."

Her confusion appeared genuine, and Arthur pressed further. "And who brought the tea tray up?"

"I did, my lord. But I can't say as I know about that sugar. That would make the biscuits far too sweet, and I would never do such a thing. You aren't one to like your biscuits overly sweet, and-"

"That will do, Mrs Miller." Arthur could see her panic escalating.

"I'm sorry if you didn't like them, my lord. I won't prepare them again."

Arthur lifted a hand. "Did you bring the tea tray after my uncle arrived?"

Mrs Miller stopped. "No, my lord. I left it there beforehand, since I wanted to be sure it was waiting for your guest."

"Did you pour the tea?"

"Of course, not, my lord. It would grow cold otherwise."

Arthur's heart nearly stopped. The cups of the tea had already been poured upon his arrival. Was the tea poisoned as well? But then, his uncle had consumed a full cup. He relaxed a little. Likely he would have felt the effects by now, if that were true.

"Thank you, Mrs Miller."

Arthur departed the kitchen, his thoughts turning back to Merlin. He wanted to throttle his husband for coming to Camelot. The only thing worse than having his own life in danger was watching Merlin face the same threats. Arthur couldn't allow it.

If he had to tie him to a chair, Merlin would not attend the ball.

ooOoo

In the afternoon, Arthur boarded his carriage, intending to discover the meaning of the tattoo on his neck. He'd instructed his driver to take him deeper into Camelot, toward the Druid merchant shops. Arthur had armed himself with a revolver as a precaution.

He was so caught up in his thoughts regarding the tattoo, that he nearly missed seeing the druid man, striding down the street. Edwin Muirden.

What was he doing here?

Arthur tensed and narrowed his gaze upon the man. Though Edwin walked with quiet deference, he didn't believe for a moment that the druid was here by coincidence.

"Follow him," Arthur ordered the coachman.

Edwin had been here, the night Will was killed. Arthur was convinced of it, and as they moved further into Camelot, the overpowering smells evoked images of that night. Smoke and the exotic tang of spices ripped through Arthur's mind, sending him back.

 _Cold. It had been so cold that night, his breath sending clouds into the frosty air. He'd tracked Will, tracing the man's path back toward the river. Toward the ships._

 _Four men were arguing with Will, and one pulled him back, confining his arms. His lungs burning, Arthur had raced forward to free the man. A long blade had flashed in the moonlight, and he'd stared in horror as Will fell to the muddy streets._

 _Too late to save him._

 _A noise had sounded behind him and Arthur had turned, just as the knife cut him across his ribs, blinding him with pain._

The vision abruptly ended. Arthur's breathing was shaky, and his palms were damp.

"My lord?"

He gripped the edge of his seat and forced himself to inhale a full breath. "Yes?"

"My lord. I'm afraid the man's gone," the coachman apologized. "He went toward those shops over there."

 _Damn!_ He hadn't expected to lose himself in the memory, but it had come upon him so suddenly, Arthur had lost track of his quarry.

"Await me here," he ordered.

Though every instinct warned him not to pursue Edwin, Arthur sensed that the answers were close now. He would not let fear dictate his moves. Arthur felt for the revolver within his coat. "If I don't return in ten minutes, I'll need your help."

Though he didn't know where Edwin had gone, Arthur intended to question the shopkeeper. The heavy scent of incense assailed him when Arthur entered the merchant's shop. A woman lowered her head in respect before whispering to an elderly man. The man wore a grey beard, so long it nearly reached his middle.

The merchant greeted him, "My lord."

Arthur did not waste time in responding, but instead held out a small pouch containing some money. "This is for you, if you answer my questions truthfully."

The shopkeeper bowed again. "What can I do for you, my lord?"

"I am seeking a man called Edwin Muirden."

The shopkeeper exchanged glances with the woman. "I heard of him. Is there something I could help you with, my lord?"

"I saw him only moments ago, in the streets. I want to find him."

"If you want my advice, stay away from him, my lord. He is an opium eater. Very dangerous."

The mention of opium made Arthur recall the tattoo on his neck. He loosened his collar to reveal the inked skin. "Can you tell me what this means? It was done to me while I was on board a ship. I'm told it is druidical."

The shopkeepers expression turned curious."It is the brand of a criminal, my lord." The man sent a hesitant glance toward the woman, who kept her gaze averted.

"What does it mean?"

"It is for opium smuggling. If you are caught a second time, you will be executed."

A strange sense of finality struck Arthur. Now that he knew the tattoo was the same as the one given to his Uncle and Will, it made him understand why stolen shipment had even more value. The profits had involved smuggled opium.

But was his Uncle Agravaine responsible? He'd admitted that he'd travelled to Avalon with Will, but he'd claimed his own innocence, foisting the blame upon Merlin's brother and Edwin.

Arthur paid the shopkeeper and departed. As he returned to his carriage, he turned the events over in his mind. And he couldn't help but think that his time was running out.

ooOoo

Merlin hadn't expected to see Arthur so soon. He heard his husband's voice in the hall and saw him handing his coat to Aredian's servant. Tensions knotted Arthur's face, but he relaxed when he saw Merlin.

"What is it?" Merlin asked. Had Arthur changed his mind about acknowledging him? Was he planning to bring Merlin home with him? From the unsettled expression on Arthur's face, that didn't seem likely.

Arthur took Merlin's hand in his. "I'll tell you in private. Is your uncle home?"

"He had business with some associates this evening. He promised to return later tonight."

"You and the children are alone?"

"We have a house full of servants, and I'm-"

Arthur shook his head. "I'd rather know for myself that you're safe. I'll stay with you."

Merlin led him into the drawing room, his apprehension rising when Arthur closed the door. "There was another attempt on my life." He told his husband about the poisoned biscuits, and Merlin's insides turned to ice.

"I can't believe it. Who do you think would have done such a thing?" Merlin took Arthur's hands, as if to reassure himself that he was all right.

"It may be my Uncle Agravaine. He needs money, so he said." Arthur went to stand by the window. "Or there's another possibility, one I can't eliminate. Earlier today, I saw Edwin walking in the streets."

"Edwin?" Merlin frowned, turning the information over in his mind. "Why would he be in Camelot?"

"I suspect he was hired to kill me. Perhaps he was the one who attacked you in the gardens at The Great Dragon Estate, as well."

Merlin shook his head in denial. "I don't believe that. He worked for our family for years. He has no reason to harm either of us."

"He was there the night your brother died. And I do think he's connected with the attacks." Arthur closed the curtains, returning to Merlin's side.

"I hope not." Even so, doubt threaded through Merlin's mind, the fear that Arthur could be right.

"I also learned more about the tattoo. It was done to me in Avalon, and it's druidical, like Will's."

Arthur sat down, letting Merlin examine the back of his neck. "What does it mean?" Merlin's hands traced the swirling symbols etched in his husband's bare flesh.

"It accuses me of opium smuggling. And a death penalty, if I am caught a second time."

Merlin shivered, not wanting to think of such a thing. "But you're not a smuggler."

"No. But the ship I was on might have contained such a cargo. I can't be sure."

"But… such a journey. All the way to Avalon." Merlin's mind ran wild with visions of Arthur taken prisoner, of foreigners calling for his death.

"Don't worry. I've no intention of going back, for any reason." His voice caught Merlin deep within, like a physical cares. "Everything I want is right here."

Arthur stood, pulling his husband against him in a dark kiss. His mouth coaxed Merlin's into a battle of lips and tongue, forcing Merlin to yield against him. He clung to Arthur, falling deeply under his seductive spell.

Merlin shivered, fighting off the temptation. Although he ached for Arthur's touch, he'd made a vow not to let Arthur touch him until he acknowledge him as his husband. And already Merlin was breaking that promise.

"Arthur, I want you to stop."

"Why?"

"Because you're treating me like some lover, not your husband."

"You could be both," Arthur teased.

Merlin didn't answer his smile. Couldn't Arthur see how much it hurt, being forced to hide? It brought back the terrible memories of the last ball, where he'd been so humiliated by society. After all these weeks, Merlin had worked hard, hoping not to embarrass Arthur in a ballroom. He wanted to show Arthur that he could be a _perfect_ husband.

Dropping a kiss upon Merlin's head, Arthur added, "This will all be over, soon enough."

"When?" Merlin bristled at his husband's nonchalance. Did Arthur think Lady Mercia's ball was merely a social engagement? To Merlin, it was much more - it was a second chance to prove himself. "I'm tired of hiding away… as if you're ashamed of me," Merlin insisted. "The gossip will think you're planning a divorce."

"That's a foolish thought."

"Is it? For God's sake, Arthur… we're living apart. And I don't even know if you'll ever let me in your heart. You keep trying to brush me aside."

Arthur gripped him tightly. "I won't risk your safety."

Merlin took a breath, "And if there was no danger? Would you escort me to the ball, and admit that I am your husband?"

Arthur hesitated. "I'f that's what you want. But you didn't appear to enjoy the last one."

It was the answer Merlin had feared Arthur would say. "If none of this had happened, you've never have brought me to Camelot. I'd be at The Great Dragon Estate, even now, the husband you never wanted."

He cupped Merlin's cheek. "It's not that I don't want you beside me, Merlin. But I won't watch someone hurt you or Tristan and Freya. My enemies are far too close now. You will not go out in public, and that is final."

Merlin's anger rose up, "If your enemies are too close, then why did you come here tonight? You've led them right to us."

Arthur said nothing, as though his husband had struck him. Merlin wanted to take back the angry words, to say he hadn't meant them. But it was too late. Without another word Arthur left.

Merlin clenched his waist, sobbing quietly. So many excuses. So many reasons not let him be with Arthur. Right now, he didn't know if his husband would ever acknowledge Merlin as the man he wanted.


	36. Chapter 36

Arthur returned to his father's house the next morning, his eyes blurring with exhaustion. He'd kept an all-night vigil in Aredian's study, leaving only when he'd heard Merlin's uncle returning. Damn his husband for not trusting in him. When all of this was over…

It was difficult to even imagine their future, they'd lived with the danger far so long. Someone had murdered Merlin's brother, and Arthur no longer believed it was because of the man's debts or stolen money.

Will had known something. Likely he had discovered the opium smuggling, but all records of the cargo and stolen profits had been eradicated. Somewhere, there existed a list of investors. And among them was the man he sought, a man who didn't want his involvement revealed.

Arthur sipped at a cup of strong tea, and only glanced up when his father entered the drawing room. Uther did not look well, heavy lines drawing down the corners of his mouth.

"Helena told me _that man_ has returned to Camelot," Uther remarked.

"My husband, you mean."

Uther cleared his throat, adding, "He intends to accompany his uncle to Lady Mercia's ball tonight. I thought I should warn you of the gossip."

Arthur rose and went to stand by the fire, staring at the flames. He hoped that Merlin would abide by his orders and remain at Aredian's home where he would be safe.

"Thank you for your concern. But I have other, more pressing things on my mind than what the society are discussing." He stoked the flames, watching the sparks rise up. "I suppose you should know that your home is no longer safe. I was nearly poisoned yesterday."

Uther stiffened. "What do you mean?"

Arthur explained about the cat and the biscuits. He added, "I believe that whoever keeps trying to kill me is the same person responsible for stealing the profits from _The Lady Valiant_."

"Have you any suspicions?"

Arthur replaced the poker and shrugged. "A few. But no proof."

"Gwaine might be able to help."

Arthur looked up sharply. "Gwaine was involved in this?"

"He lost a great deal of money in the shipment. My money." Uther grimaced, muttering about his stepbrother's irresponsible ways.

Arthur no longer heard the words. Gwaine had mentioned financial problems, even teasing about Arthur's death. _Had there been a darker meaning beneath it?_ He simply couldn't believe it.

"Where is he now?"

"I'm not certain. I thought he said he was going to pay a call upon Agravaine." Uther cleared his throat.

Though Arthur didn't want to imagine his stepbrother had any part in this, he could not take the chance. "I'm going to find Gwaine."

Uther crossed the room and set a hand upon Arthur's shoulder. It was the first time in many years that he'd shown any sign of emotion. "Be careful."

Arthur gripped his father's hand. "I will."

ooOoo

When Arthur arrived at his uncle's residence an hour later, he pushed his way inside.

"My lord, your uncle did not wish to be disturbed," a servant protested. "He was not feeling well today."

"I'm looking for my stepbrother Gwaine." Arthur strode past the servant, forcing the man to quicken his steps.

"I didn't saw him here, my lord. And I assure you, this is not a good time to intrude upon your uncle."

The servant positioned himself in front of the study, his black waistcoat stretched across a large stomach that threatened to pop off the buttons.

"Perhaps not." But had Agravaine eaten the poisoned biscuits, his constitution would have been even worse. "I must see my uncle."

Arthur forced his way past, which was no easy task considering the servant's girth. Eventually, rank won over. The servant would not dare to defy an Earl.

He tried the door, but found it locked. Knocking sharply, Arthur demanded. "Agravaine, open the door."

Silence.

He banged louder, to no avail. "Have you a key?" Arthur asked the servant.

The servant puffed out his indignation and his grizzled whiskers twitched. "My lord, if the master does not wish to be disturbed, then it is my duty-"

"Hang your duty. A man tried to kill my uncle yesterday. Now are you going to find that key, or must I break the door down?" The servant hesitated before another dark glare from Arthur sent him fleeing.

"What's all this about?" a female voice asked. His aunt peered over the staircase. Her dark gleaming locks hung in a state of disarray, her maid standing behind her with a brush.

Arthur inclined his head. "Forgive me, aunt Mary, but I must have words with my uncle. How long has he been in the study, might I ask?"

"Since this morning. He did not wish to be disturbed."

The servant returned with the key, and Arthur jammed it into the lock, twisting the metal. He shoved open the door. The study had been ransacked. Papers lay everywhere, books overturned.

And in the middle of it lay his uncle's body. Dead.

ooOoo

"Merlin, why aren't you ready?" Aredian opened the library door where his nephew sat reading. "Aren't you planning to show Lady Mercia and all the others that there were wrong about you?"

"Arthur doesn't think I should attend. He says it's too dangerous."

"Dangerous? Whatever is he talking about?"

Merlin confided the attempts on Arthur's life. "I haven't told you much about it, because I didn't want you to worry."

"Does he suspect anyone?"

Merlin nodded. "I'm certain that it's only a matter of time before he remembers everything. And I'm afraid of something happening to him."

Aredian met his gaze. "Yes, I suppose it is only a matter of time before all comes back to him." Then abruptly, his seriousness left, and he offered a broad smile. "But honestly, the only thing Arthur should be afraid of is of some handsome dandy trying to steal you out from under his nose."

Merlin braved a smile. "I wish that were the only thing."

"Come now. Do you really think that anything would happen, while you're out dancing? You're safer there than anywhere else. Go on, then, prepare yourself and meet me downstairs. Our carriage is waiting."

Merlin could see that his uncle wouldn't take no for an answer. Aredian shooed him upstairs, promising he wouldn't leave until he returned.

Arthur wasn't going to like this. But Aredian was right - what could possibly happen in the middle of a ballroom, amidst hundred of people?

Merlin finished preparing for the ball and went to check on the children. Inside his room, Tristan's arms sprawled over the edge of the bed, his other arm wrapped around a pillow. In the adjoining chamber, Freya rested in her crib. Her small hands were drawn up beneath her chin while her backside pointed skywards. Merlin could not resist smiling as he kissed the little girl's downy head.

Inside the nursery, Tristan had left toys strewn around the room. Unable to help himself, Merlin started to tidy the mess. He picked up a jack-in-the-box and set it upon a shelf. A row of books was about to topple, and Merlin straightened the stack. His gaze narrowed upon one of the books. It was one of the last gifts Will had given his son, a book of fairy tales. The book had belonged to their grandfather many years ago. Merlin traced upon the broken leather binding and then picked it up for old time's sake.

Flipping through the collection of stories about fairies, dragons, knights and princesses his fingers came upon pages that were neatly glued into the binding. His heart skidded to a stop. These were the hidden records, the ones Arthur had been looking for. Merlin studied them, wondering what was so important about the columns of figures.

As he reached the bottom of the page, he recognized names of at least a dozen ships, along with profits and losses. At the very end of the last page were the names of investors involved with _The Lady Valiant_.

One name startled him, but Merlin dismissed any suspicion of ill doing. He tore the pages from the book, tucking them into his waistcoat pocket. Tonight he would show them to Arthur, and perhaps his husband could shed light upon their meaning.

ooOoo

There was little point in trying to question his hysterical aunt. While she wept and clung to her maid, Arthur had searched through the mess of papers, looking for something that would lead him to the assassin. This time, a dagger in the back had caused Agravaine's death.

Arthur knew he ought to feel something about the murder, but a numbing chill had frozen his mind to reality. He found it easier to dwell upon theories and lists than the fact he had escaped death yet again. He shouldn't be alive now.

What did his enemies want? It had to be information, knowledge they believed he and his uncle possessed. They had ransacked Will's house and now Agravaine's study. They had not searched his father's house, however. A mixed sense of relief flooded Arthur when he realized his constant change in residence had likely protected the inhabitants.

Arthur sifted through another stack of papers, and he discovered a record of men who owed his uncle money. Though it was a simple list, he had not come across Mordred Knight's name before. Annoyance pervaded him when he thought of the man who had tried to court _his_ Merlin.

Then annoyance shifted into suspicion. The threads interwove into a pattern that seemed a little too convenient. Mordred had continued to court Merlin's affection, even after he had told him of his marriage.

Did Mordred have anything to do with the murders? It made Arthur wonder how many others he'd missed.

With a glance at his timepiece, Arthur saw that it was growing far later than he'd imagined. The authorities had arrived, and after answering a few questions, Arthur excused himself to attend Lady Mercia's ball.

Mordred Knight might be there. And if he was, Arthur intended to find out what he knew.


	37. Chapter 37

Lady Mercia did not conceal her distaste when Merlin arrived with his Uncle Aredian. Her lips pursed into a thin line as though she wanted to prevent Merlin from entering the ballroom.

"Lady Mercia, I was delighted to receive your invitation." Aredian kissed her hand and offered her a smile. "You remember my nephew Merlin, of course."

"Of course." Lady Mercia's gaze flicked across Merlin's clothes.

Merlin wore a dark-blue tail-coat with a cream-coloured dress-shirt, matching waistcoat, a dark blue bow-tie and black shoes.

"Lady Mercia, thank you for your hospitality," Merlin said, kissing her hand.

"Well, I am surprised to see you again, Mr Emrys. And since I haven't seen you at your husband's side yet, it is easy to forgot you are married to Earl Arthur Pendragon."

 _Don't let her provoke you_ , Merlin warned himself. "I am certain that will be remedied, soon enough." Merlin pasted on a bright smile, albeit a false one. "Has my husband arrived yet?"

"I fear he has not."

Merlin's composure faltered. Just the thought of seeing Arthur again knitted his insides into knots. He tried to prepare himself for his husband's rejection, for his undeniable wrath. But Merlin was tired of feeling unworthy, angry at being looked down upon.

"I am sure he will arrive soon," Merlin said. _And God help me, when he does._

Aredian patted Merlin's back. "I, for one, am glad of Arthur's absence. It allows me to walk around in the company of a handsome young man. Until the Earl steals him away, that is."

His uncle's words eased Merlin, and as Aredian led him inside, he whispered, "Do not forget, Merlin. You are Arthur's husband - equal in your marriage."

His reminder helped to clear Merlin's thoughts. The past was gone; he could not change it. But he had the power now, power he had denied himself. It was time to take his place beside Arthur as equals.

Merlin touched the inside of his waistcoat pocket, to ensure the papers were still there. If only he could understand the meaning behind the numbers. The answers must be there. Will would never have hidden them were they not of critical importance. He felt on the verge of discovery, but with the excitement came a natural fear.

In time, Merlin relaxed, though he was still aware of the eyes upon him. Lady Mercia, in particular, looked as though she had swallowed a lemon.

"The entire room is dying to know what Arthur will do when he arrives," Aredian said after he returned from his round across the ballroom. "I'll spread a few rumours about your elopement, to help you out."

"I wish you wouldn't," Merlin admitted. He wanted to meet Arthur on his own terms, and no doubt his husband would be furious with him for coming here.

"He is quite late, I must say," Aredian commented. "I wonder why? I do hope nothing has gone amiss."

Merlin stiffened at the thought of Arthur coming to harm. Fear clenched his gut, and he found it difficult to breathe. And with everyone's eyes upon him, Merlin needed a moment alone.

"Uncle, will you please excuse me?"

Aredian's gaze turned worried, but Merlin reassured him that everything was alright. He left his uncle, moving towards the porch. Thankfully no one was there.

Nothing had happened to Arthur, Merlin tried to reassure himself. He would be here soon enough. Fingers of foreboding settled across his shoulders, needling him with thoughts of _what if_. "Arthur will come tonight," he told himself. "I know he will."

But as time slipped onwards, and the murmurs of society turned to gloating whispers, Merlin's fear transformed into dread.

ooOoo

In the cool darkness of the night, the figure slipped into the shadow of Aredian Emry's house. With a thin knife, he manouvered the locks, moving upstairs to where the children slept.

He stopped in the boy's room first. The firelight cast shadows across the child huddling beneath the covers. Tristan slept fitfully, and as the man drew near, the boy's eyes flew open.

"Shh…" The man raised his index finger to his lips. "I have come to take you to your father."

Tristan sat up, his fists gripping the covers. "My father is dead."

"That is what they told you. But he sent me to come and take you to him." The man held out a hand. "You trust me, don't you?"

The boy nodded.

"Then let us go before anyone sees us."

"What about Uncle Merlin and Uncle Arthur?"

"Do not worry about them. They will come to you in the morning."

Tristan moved the covers aside, struggling to put on his shoes.

"You must be silent when we leave. Do not speak a word and stay out of sight in the coach." The man handed Tristan a blanket. "Take this."

"What about Freya?" Tristan protested. "I can't leave my sister."

"She will come with us." The man held out his coat, and Tristan fastened the buttons. With a longing glance towards his bed, at last he relented.

"Do you promise I'll see my father soon?" he whispered.

The man's face remained impassive. "I promise you will see him very soon."

As he closed the door behind the boy, his hand touched the curved knife blade hidden beneath his coat.

ooOoo

Arthur arrived at the Mercia residence just past the hour of midnight. He had spent his time, investigating Mordred Knight's debts. It seemed the man and Merlin's brother had done more than their share of gambling. Mordred needed money - by any means possible.

When Arthur saw his husband's face amid the ballroom crowd, a slow fury built within him. The throng parted in half, and he moved towards Merlin. His handsomeness took his breath away.

Why could Merlin not understand his need to keep him safe? Even now, the man who most likely had tried to murder him was standing only a short distance away. He glared at Mordred Knight, but the man pretended not to see.

When he reached Merlin's side, he noted his husband's tense posture. "You're here," Merlin said, his shoulders relaxing with relief. "I was worried about you."

"Of course I am here," Arthur murmured. "But you were supposed to remain at home."

"When have I begun taking orders I do not agree with?" Merlin returned, smiling.

Arthur took his husband's hand and tried to lead him outside the ballroom, but Merlin refused to move. "I am not going with you. Not unless you acknowledge me. Already we are the centre of everyone's attention and gossip."

 _Damn, that stubborn man!_ Arthur overpowered him, pulling Merlin towards a private alcove. "Come with me."

"No." Merlin struggled, but Arthur held him fast.

Before Arthur could say another word, Mordred Knight appeared. "Mr Emrys, is everything alright?"

"Yes, of course." Merlin managed a small smile upon his face, though Arthur noted his husband's underlying anger.

Arthur had no intention of allowing the fraud near his husband. "Stay away from him." Mordred did not back down, but stared back with determination.

"I believe I owe you a dance, Mordred," Merlin interjected.

Arthur was about to drag his husband away from Mordred when suddenly, a flock of matrons descended upon him.

"My dear Earl Pendragon, what a pleasure-"

"I've heard the most amazing tale about you and Mr Emrys-"

"Why on earth would the two of you elope?"

Their mouths fairly dripped with anticipation. He, on the other hand, had better things to do than to answer their twittering questions.

"If you'll pardon me," Arthur said, giving them a hard look, "I am going to have words with-"

The words hung upon his lips as he took a long look at Merlin. _God, he was gorgeous_ , the dark-blue of his tail-coat contrasting against his pale skin. And he'd never seen him like this before, cool and confident in his appearance. _And he belonged to him_.

Merlin stood a short distance away, pretending as if he didn't hear them. He expected Arthur to feign indifference. And Arthur had every reason to ignore him, in order to keep him safe. But damn it all, Merlin had been cut down too many times. And Arthur couldn't let it happen again. Refusing to acknowledge him as his husband would not protect him. It would only slice another wound into their marriage.

"I need to have words with _my husband_." Arthur emphasised the last words, making sure that everyone around them heard it.

Merlin turned. His lips parted, but he did not speak. Lady Mercia looked as though she might swoon. Another matron fanned her face furiously, but Arthur did not remain to listen to the agitated woman.

He closed the distance, and raised his husband's wrist to his lips. "Shall we, Merlin?"

"You could have done that with a bit more finesse," Merlin whispered as he took Arthur's hand.

"I did just as you asked."

Merlin couldn't argue with that. Couples had lined up in a quadrille and he glanced towards Mordred. "I really did promise him that dance."

"If he touches you, I'll cut off his hand."

"Don't be jealous. It's only a dance."

Arthur sent Mordred a dark warning, but the poor man could not escape. When they switched partners, Merlin sent Mordred a reassuring look. "Don't worry about my husband."

"I r-r-really don't think this was a good idea," Mordred stammered, touching his palm to Merlin's as they paired off in the quadrille.

Merlin struggled to remember the steps of the dance. Now that he had a moment to speak with Mordred, he wondered why his name was mentioned in Arthur's accounts. "I've been meaning to ask, did you ever invest in a shipment with my brother?"

Mordred's face grew shamefaced. "To my regret. Please know that I hold the highest esteem for your brother, but-"

Arthur cut him off, switching partners and taking Merlin's hand. He dropped his voice into an angry whisper. "Have you lost your wits? Mordred was involved with the shipment."

"I know," Merlin gritted out. "I've been trying to get answers from him." He changed palms and turned around. "Stop behaving as though you are my puppet master."

Merlin was about to move in the other direction when Arthur caught his wrist. "You should know that Agravaine was murdered tonight."

Murdered? Why would anyone wish to kill Arthur's uncle? Merlin's throat closed up, and stars blinked in his vision. It suddenly became more difficult to catch his breath.

They switched partners again, and Mordred took his hand. "Your brother assured me that the investment was a wonderful opportunity," he continued as he took Merlin's hand. "I am still hoping that the missing funds turn up," he added. "But your Uncle Aredian has his doubts."

At the mention of Aredian's name, Merlin faltered. "Aredian, you said?"

"Of course. It was his suggestion that I invest."

"But he never-" Merlin's words broke off, and suddenly Aredian's earlier inquiries about Tristan's inheritance made sense. He'd been looking for Will's records, to cover up his own involvement in the stolen money. Perhaps Tristan's bedroom truly had been searched that night.

Arthur had overheard Mordred's remark and understood the implications immediately. They both continued the dance until the music ended, though Merlin could hardly move.

"Aredian," Merlin breathed. "I've been so stupid." He'd been deceived by his uncle's silver tongue, believing what he'd wanted to believe.

"I'm going to find him." Arthur left Merlin's side to search the ballroom.

Merlin's head spun with implications. Had Aredian arranged for Agravaine's murder? Had his uncle tried to kill Arthur?

The evidence in his waistcoat pocket seared his heart. For in the papers lay the truth. The man who had taken him under his wings was the very man he never should have trusted. The floor seemed to sink beneath Merlin's feet as he slowly began to comprehend a fact far worse.

Tristan and Freya were at his house, even now.


	38. Chapter 38

"Merlin Emrys," a steely voice interrupted his thoughts. It was Lord Uther Pendragon. Merciful heaven, but Merlin had no desire to cross swords with him now. Lord Uther stepped in front of him, a general poised for battle. Merlin glanced around, hoping for a glimpse of Arthur, but he was nowhere to be seen.

"What is it you want?"

"You know what I want. And yet you keep insinuating yourself into places you don't belong."

Years of denigration and unworthiness solidified into a wave of anger. Merlin looses his bow-tie, trying to cool his temper before he did something rash. _Calm down. He is nothing but an old curmudgeon._

"Lord Pendragon, I have no wish to be your enemy. I married your son, and I've every right to be here."

"You bring shame upon him."

"No," Merlin said softly, no longer caring about those around him. "You bring shame upon yourself. Perhaps it is you who should leave."

The dance had ended, and Merlin's words echoed above the noise of the crowd. Lady Mercia fainted across the lap of another matron, who desperately tried to revive her with smelling salt.

"You mean nothing to my son," Lord Uther said, "and you are a fool if you believe otherwise."

"My husband is not a fool," Arthur responded. Merlin saw his husband coming towards him, and at the sight of him, Merlin took comfort in his presence.

"Since you plan to make a spectacle of yourself, Father, let me make one thing quite clear. Anyone who humiliates my husband in public must answer to me."

Arthur took his husband's hand in his and the magnitude of what he'd done struck Merlin. He'd abandoned pride and duty, forcing his father to accept Merlin as his husband.

"Now, if you'll excuse us, I am escorting my husband home." Arthur led him towards the door, lowering his voice. "Aredian has already left. We must go now."

Merlin did not look back at the ballroom, but joined Arthur as they hurried toward the carriage. Within minutes, they were inside.

Seated across from another, Merlin watched Arthur, wondering what to say. At last he said, "Thank you for defending me."

Arthur gave a nod, his attention focused outside. "I don't know where your uncle has gone, but-"

Merlin leaned forward and kissed him. He took Arthur by surprise, and he did not react at first. Then Arthur took his face in his hands, his thumb grazing Merlin's temple.

"That was far too short to be a kiss."

Merlin's pulse quickened as Arthur drew closer. Leaning in, he took Merlin's lips. Gently he caressed his husband's shoulders as his mouth captured Merlin's. The carriage rumbled through the streets, and the rhythmic motion made it difficult for Merlin to catch his breath. When at last Arthur released him, Merlin's hands poised on his husband's forearms.

"We'll find him,Merlin," Arthur swore.

"Tristan and Freya," Merlin reminded his husband. "We have to protect them."

As the carriage moved closer to Aredian's town house, Arthur's apprehension heightened. If Aredian had somehow been involved in the deaths of his uncle Agravaine and Merlin's brother Will, he did not doubt the man would use the children as leverage.

"I meant to show you these earlier," Merlin said, reaching inside his waistcoat pocket. Arthur raised an eyebrow as his husband handed him several torn pages. As soon as he saw them, he knew what they were; the missing list of investors.

"Where did you get these?"

"Will hid them inside Tristan's fairy tale book," Merlin said. I didn't see them until I picked it up."

Though it was difficult to see in the moonlight, the columns of numbers triggered a flood of memories. Visions unfolded, strange illuminations that made little sense. Arthur recalled removing the pages with a blade, giving them to Merlin's brother for safekeeping.

"What is it?"

"I made this list. Months ago." Arthur had recorded every ship that had not earned a profit in the past four years, along with the names of their investors. "They're the missing pages from the ledger we found at Will's estate."

Like a door opening, the memories returned.

"I noticed that several shipments appeared to have less cargo than they should. And when _The Lady Valiant's_ cargo was sold, all of the funds disappeared. I thought you brother was responsible, at first." Arthur folded the paper. "Will swore he had nothing to do with the loss. Then he confided in me what had happened to him in Avalon, when he was branded with the tattoo. He suspected the real thief was trying to frighten him. Or set him up to take the blame." Arthur reached out and took Merlin's hands. "Will was more afraid for you and the children than he was for himself. He begged me to go after you, to ensure your safety. I promised him I would, and that's when I gave him the records for safekeeping." He kissed Merlin's fingers. "I didn't intend to marry you, at first. And perhaps it was wrong of me to lead you on. But I wanted to rescue you, as well as escape my father's scheming."

Merlin gripped Arthur's hand, sadness creasing his face. "Do you remember what happened to Will on the night he died? Why did you leave him behind?"

"I tried to save him, but I arrived too late. And there were more of them that night. If I had stayed, they would have killed me, too."

"Did Aredian kill Will?"

Arthur relived the events, but did not recall Aredian among the attackers. Most of the men had worn hoods to obscure their faces and were not Aredian's size. "No. These were hired men, but Edwin was with them. He's the one who gave me this scar." Arthur touched the healed wound upon his ribs. "I have no doubt the stolen money went into Aredian's pockets." Arthur placed the folded papers inside his coat. Piece by piece the memories returned.

""Who took care of you while you were on board the ship?" Merlin asked. "You said your… lover tended your wounds."

Arthur didn't miss the pointed tone. "He did. Rather than lead the men back to my father's house, he put me aboard one of my ships. The crew tended me after that, I suppose." He thought back, and remembered the ship bound for Avalon. He'd endured weeks of endless rocking with the waves and the taint of a sickly sweet aroma. Opium, Arthur now realized. "When we arrived in Avalon, the Druid officials were waiting. They recognized the ship and confiscated it. They tattooed me, sending me back to Camelot. I was beaten upon arrival, as further punishment. Afterwards, I managed to drag myself to a hired coach. The Great Dragon Estate was the closest house."

Merlin looked stricken. "I'm so sorry about the way I treated you. I was angry about Will and your lover." He stared outside at the night sky. "And you didn't remember me."

Arthur could say nothing to take away his husband's pain and fear. But he would atone for them, somehow. "I remember now."

ooOoo

When they arrived at Aredian's town house, Merlin did not look at his husband, he kept his gaze focused on the residence. He opened the door, but no servant came to greet him. Inside, a strange silence seemed to hover. The servants were in their quarters with only the distant sounds of scullery maids cleaning the kitchen.

Merlin rushed up the stairs, two at the time, while Arthur followed. The door to the wet-nurse's room was closed, but in his gut, Arthur predicted what Merlin would find in the children's rooms. As he'd feared, Freya's crib was empty, along with Tristan's bed. Merlin picked up Freya's blanket, and the devastation upon his face struck Arthur like a physical blow.

"He took them." Merlin's eyes shimmered with tears, his fingers clutching the soft blanket.

Arthur knew there were no words to comfort his husband, but he said them just the same. "I'll get them back."

"What does he want?"

"I don't know." Arthur studied the room and spied a folded paper with his name upon it. As he read the contents, he relayed the information to Merlin. "The children were taken to Aredian's country estate. I am to come alone, with all the records of the shipment, if we want them back alive."

Arthur handed Merlin the note to read, but his husband's face clouded with doubt. "If you go alone, he'll kill you," Merlin whispered.

"Aredian can't have gone far, Merlin. I'll get to him before anything happens."

Merlin shook his head. "Aredian didn't take them. Look." At the bottom of the page, a small marking of ink had escaped Arthur's notice, the initials E.M. "Edwin." Merlin admitted the name like a curse. "He was with our family for so many years. I thought he was loyal to us."

Arthur wanted to reassure Merlin that everything would be alright, but the truth was, he didn't know. "Stay here until my return."

He cupped Merlin's chin, but his husband turned his face aside so his kiss brushed Merlin's cheek. "You're not leaving me behind. The children are my responsibility."

"They are _our_ responsibility," Arthur corrected. "And I am going to finish this."

"And what of me? You expect me to wait at home while you go off again? The last time it happened, Will died, and you were injured, too."

Arthur's own anger rose up, that Merlin refused to trust him. He distanced himself from the emotions coiling inside of him. He would do what was necessary to protect his family. "I won't return until I've brought Tristan and Freya back to you."

Arthur did not try to kiss Merlin again, knowing his husband would refuse him. As he left Merlin in the shadow of his uncle's house, Arthur pushed all thoughts away until only the icy mindset of retribution remained.

Aredian Emrys had killed his last man. And Arthur would not stop until he had redeemed himself in the eyes of his husband.


	39. Chapter 39

"Mr Emrys, Lord Uther is abed," Cedric argued. "He is not receiving calls at this hour of the morning."

"I must see him. This is a matter of utmost importance."

"As you already know, Lord Uther has forbidden you to enter his house."

It was clear to Merlin how a person could be moved to murder someone. At the moment, he had the urge to hang the servant by his cravat. "This is not a social call," Merlin said firmly, trying to push his way past. "This is about his son. Arthur will die if you don't let me see his father."

Cedric shook his head. "If you do not remove yourself from this house, I shall summon the constable."

Before the servant could slam the door, Arthur's father appeared behind him. "Come to wreak more destruction upon the household, have you?"

Merlin ignored Uther's dry question. "Arthur is in danger. He's gone after my niece and nephew." Quickly, he explained the situation and waited for Lord Uther to respond.

"You spin a fine tale. But then, men such as yourself are good liars, so I hear."

Merlin closed his eyes. "You and I will never be allies, I know. But that is of little consequence. He's gone alone, and I am not about to let him die." He levelled a hard stare at Uther. "If you do not wish to lose another child, then I'd suggest you help me."

Lord Uther said nothing, but turned his back on him. Cedric closed the front door, and Merlin sagged against the frame, exhaustion aching from every pore. He had hoped that somehow Arthur's father would believe him, that Uther would help his son. How had he thought he could mend the breach between them? Such a foolish notion. Lord Uther cared about nothing, save duty.

The door opened slowly and Merlin looked into the face of Arthur's stepbrother Gwaine. "I'll go," he offered. With a rueful grin he added, "Eavesdropping. Sorry, I couldn't resist."

In Gwaine's face Merlin saw an earnest desire to help. And yet, he grew wary. "You invested money in _The Lady Valiant_ , too," he said remembering the column of figures Arthur had deciphered.

A sheepish grin crossed Gwaine's face. "Unfortunately, I did. Lost every penny."

"And did you know my uncle was an investor?"

Gwaine shook his head. "I'm afraid not."

"Uncle Aredian stole the cargo profits from the ship. I'm sure of it. Now he's gone, and he kidnapped my niece and nephew."

"I am sorry to hear it. But I would be glad to help."

Though Merlin didn't want to coerce Gwaine into the danger, he desperately needed his assistance. "Arthur went after them to Aredian's country estate…" His voice faltered, but he hid his fear. "I know Aredian won't release the children. He won't rest until Arthur is dead." _And me_ , Merlin almost added. "There is too much evidence against him."

"How long ago was it?"

"His henchman Edwin kidnapped them hours ago. We'll never catch up."

Gwaine's gaze shifted as though he were turning over an idea in his mind. "There might be a way." Before he could elaborate, the door opened again.

"Wait." Lord Uther emerged. He wore a black cape, his silvery hair glinting against the darkness. In his hands he held a set of pistols. "We'll need these."

Merlin did not know what had changed his mind, but for the first time he saw a crack in Uther's unyielding demeanour. It offered a small measure of hope. "Thank you."

A grim frown settled across Uther's countenance. "I will go on one condition," he said to Merlin.

"Name it."

After Gwaine and I bring Arthur back, you will retire to the countryside. Do not show your face in Camelot again."

Merlin raised his chin to meet Uther's arrogant gaze. "No." When Uther's expression turned baffled, he added, "I am married to your son, and I will not leave him just to satisfy your overblown beliefs of what a suitable consort should be." Merlin cleared his throat and folded his arms across his chest. "I am also coming with you."

Lord Uther looked as though he were about to explode. "You cannot think to possibly-"

Merlin shook his head. "You forget that I lived with Uncle Aredian for several weeks. I know his house better than you, and I can get inside without anyone knowing. And if you leave me behind, I shall simply follow you."

Lord Uther's face transformed from crimson into purple. Merlin moved forward, and with a firm pat upon Uther's shoulder, he said, "Shall we?" Gwaine was coughing hastily to hide what might have been a laugh.

ooOoo

It took over two days to reach Aredian's estate. Arthur stopped only when nightfall made it impossible to go farther. As soon as enough light permeated the horizon, he continued on his journey. He'd switched horses twice, his mind focused on the task at hand. He wore a revolver at his side, a knife hidden inside his coat. Landscapes shifted into rolling meadows, sunsets merging until one day met the next.

Why had he not foreseen the danger? He blamed himself for what had happened. Merlin's devastation haunted him, his fingers curled around Freya's blanket. Arthur remembered, too the laughing smile of the little girl who had drooled all over his tunic. Even when Freya had sobbed herself to sleep in his arms, he couldn't forget what it had felt like to be a father. And then there was Tristan. The boy reminded him so much of himself - eager to please and yet shielding himself from hurt. It struck him that he must succeed in bringing the children home. Merlin was relying on him.

The thought encouraged Arthur to increase the horse's gait. He envisaged Merlin, a smile on his face - only meant for him. He wanted to make love to Merlin until he cried out, arching his back and drawing him close. He wanted to wake up beside Merlin. He loved him.

The knowledge filled Arthur with an iron-clad resolution not to let Merlin or their family down. He drew his horse to a stop, the animal's sides heaving. In the distance he saw Aredian's country estate. Night descended over the landscape as Arthur drew nearer, darkening the shadows until the glow of lights was all that illuminated the manor.

He could not go in alone; Aredian would kill him. He needed stealth, and at the moment time was on his side. Aredian would not expect him for many days yet. No one else knew of his arrival. If he moved too swiftly, he risked their lives.

Arthur watched the house, turning over possible strategies in his mind. Without leverage against Aredian, the only means of rescuing Tristan and Freya was to overpower him. He needed a diversion so he could move in for his own attack. It was critical to destroy Aredian's command of the situation.

Arthur knew just what to do.


	40. Chapter 40

After surviving a horrid journey by train, riddled with soot and traveling at speeds no human should have to endure, Lord Uther had ordered Merlin to remain in the village. Merlin's patience had lasted little more than an hour. He needed to be there, to know what was happening. Already he had thought of a plan. He could stay hidden from the others and yet be inside his uncle's house.

After enquiring in the village over the course of the afternoon, Merlin purchased clothing and some random things that would help him look like a woman. It hadn't been difficult to disguise his appearance, he covered his hair under a cap, drawing it down low over his eyes. In the ample grey gown he wore, hopefully no one would mistake him for a man.

ooOoo

It took him most of the afternoon to walk to Aredian's estate. As he'd expected, men guarded the entrance. One blocked his path, a stout man armed with a pair of pistols. "And just where do you think you're going?"

Merlin kept his face down, trying to make his voice sound unmasculine. "Beggin' pardon, sir. Mrs Bell asked me to come. I'm to be the new scullery maid."

The men exchanged glances. The other guard shrugged and stepped forward. "I'll take her and see if she's telling the truth."

Merlin bobbed a curtsy, "Thank you, sir." His heart pounded with each step they took towards the house. Would the cook help him? He sent up a thousand pleas to heaven that Mr Bell would not betray him.

The man led him to the servant's entrance in the back. Inside the kitchen, Mrs Bell directed the bustle of activity with the grace of a conductor. The guard cleared his throat. "This chit claims you've hired her as the new scullery maid."

Merlin straightened and stared hard at Mrs Bell. He gave a faint nod of encouragement, willing the cook to follow his lead. Mrs Bell's eyes widened, but she did not argue. "Why, yes. It's about time you arrived. You were supposed to be there this morning, _girl_."

"Beg pardon," Merlin murmured, bobbing another curtsy.

Mrs Bell took him by the shoulders and nodded to the guard. "Thank you for bringing _her_. There's a meat pie on the table there, if you're hungry." The guard's face relaxed, and he accepted the bribe before leaving.

Afterwards, Mrs Bell handed Merlin a clean apron. Silence filled the kitchen as everyone stared. Merlin donned the apron, tying it slowly. "Please do not tell my uncle I am here."

At their curious looks, he added, "I cannot tell you everything now, but I give you my promise that you will be rewarded for your help." Merlin cleared his throat. "My nephew and niece - Tristan and Freya - are they upstairs with Anna?"

"They are here, Mr Emrys," Mrs Bell answered, "but the wet nurse is not. Your uncle hired another woman in the village to care for Freya."

"And my husband?"

Mrs Bell shook her head. "I have not seen Earl Pendragon."

The words dropped like a blade, slicing through him. Merlin gripped the folds of his apron, masking his emotions. "I am sure he will be along shortly," he managed. "In the meantime, I should like to remain among you. I-I can cook or clean or whatever you require of me."

Mrs Bell must have sensed his agitation, for she took Merlin's hand. "I'll not say a word to the master, if that's what you want," she offered. "And neither anyone else." She sent a firm glare to the other servants. "No one knows of your presence, save us."

"Thank you." Merlin picked up a knife and a carrot. His fingers shook as he struggled to peel it.

Arthur had sworn he would come for the children. He'd given his promise to save them. That night Merlin had believed his husband would walk through the fires of hell. Arthur cared for Tristan and Freya, perhaps loved them as he did.

But his husband wasn't here. A numbing haze strangled Merlin's heart, until he had to set the knife down. Was Arthur already dead? The thought transfixed his imagination with horror. The vast feeling of emptiness consumed him, swallowing him up. To never see Arthur's face again or hear his husband tease him… It made Merlin want to weep useless tears. He loved Arthur, and the stupid man was not supposed to die.

Weeping would not bring him back, nor would it help the children. At any moment, Lord Uther and Gwaine were planning an attack. He needed to be ready, should they require his assistance. Aredian would not get away with this. A pity he had no poison, for at the moment, poisoning his uncle seemed like a fine solution.

ooOoo

Two days later, Arthur approached the manor, at last confident in his plans. It had taken more time than he'd intended to recruit the assistance he needed. His men stood ready, armed and hidden from view. Now nothing would stop him from seizing victory.

He walked towards the house, his hands raised in feigned surrender. Inside his coat he'd hidden a pistol, fully loaded with six bullets. Two of Aredian's men guarded the gates. "I have business with Aredian Emrys," Arthur said. "Tell him Earl Arthur Pendragon has arrived."

Though he expected the men to draw their weapons, to his surprise, they lowered them. "He is waiting for you," one said. "I'll escort you there."

Arthur followed the man, not letting his gaze betray the presence of his companions. They knew to shadow him and would be ready at his signal. A slight motion caught his attention. Arthur saw the glint of the other guard's revolver, and he spun, firing his weapon. The guard dropped forward and a second shot rang out from beside Arthur. A scarlet stain spread across the guard's heart, his eyes wide with surprise.

"They planned to murder you before you reached the house," his friend Lance du Lac remarked, emerging from the trees. "Do you want us to accompany you?"

As a friend, Arthur trusted Lance to guard his back. Years of military service made it an easy matter for him to disappear from view. Arthur nodded. "Stay out of sight. Likely they heard the shots, and with any luck, they may believe I'm dead."

Arthur moved towards the tall boxwood hedge surrounding the outer garden, working his way closer to the servant's entrance. Thankfully the hedges provided numerous hiding places. He counted silently to thirty, waiting for the others to take their places.

Outside, he saw a maid beating a large carpet, the dust billowing in the breeze. She stood between him and the entrance. He held his position, waiting patiently for her to return to the house. She raised the paddle and gave a sound blow to the carpet, attacking it as though it were an enemy. After nearly five minutes of pounding the dust, she set her paddle down and glanced towards Arthur's hiding spot.

Dear God. It was Merlin disguised as a maid.

Heedless of who might be watching, Arthur crept up behind him. Dragging him behind the hedge, he muffled Merlin's shriek. "What the hell do you think you are doing?"

Merlin's face whitened, but he made no sound even when Arthur released his palm from his mouth. His grip upon Merlin was so fierce, Arthur wanted to throttle his husband. Did he think no one would recognize him?

"You're not dead," Merlin whispered, his hand moving to Arthur's face. "I thought-"

Arthur relaxed his grip upon his husband, suddenly aware that anyone could see them. "Listen carefully. My men are going surround the house and enter at my signal. You need to leave now and return to the village."

Merlin was shaking his head. "Not yet. I-"

"Your uncle wants us dead, Merlin. Both of us. We know too much about his business dealings for him to let us live."

"Yes, I know that, but-"

"And why on God's earth you thought to come alone is the most idiotic-"

Merlin's hand covered Arthur's mouth. "If you will stop interrupting me, I have something important to tell you. Gwaine and your father are here."

If it were possible for Arthur's anger to get any worse, it did. "You brought them into this?"

"I wanted to help you. They accompanied me here and arrived a few moments ago. They are in the drawing room with Aredian, I believe."

Arthur closed his eyes, trying to calm the wrath inside. "They might die now, because of what you've done." He had already lost his sister; he didn't plan to lose Gwaine, too. And though he and his father had their differences, it seemed he had little choice but to surrender to Aredian.

Merlin's eyes glinted with unshed tears, and his mouth tightened. "I asked them to come because I loved you. I didn't want you to die. I suppose I was an idiot to want to help you." With that he picked up his paddle and marched toward the house. As he passed the carpet, he gave a ferocious swing, sending another puff of dust into the air. Arthur watched his husband go, head held high.

Time stretched on, infinite moments passing while Arthur deliberated what to do next. Though he wanted to blame Merlin, he couldn't quite get his mind around what he had said earlier. _His husband loved him_.

Arthur moved back away from his spot, signalling to Lance. "I am going after them."

"I don't like the risk," Lance responded. "Aredian could kill you first."

"If I don't return within the hour, move your men into place."

Control settled over Arthur once more. The task before him threatened the lives of everyone close to him. He had not been able to save Merlin's brother before. Now he would save his family or die trying.


	41. Chapter 41

"We've unexpected guests," Mrs Bell informed the staff. "Lord Uther Pendragon and his stepson has come to call." Her sharp eyes regarded Merlin, but she did not ask why.

"We should prepare refreshments," Merlin murmured.

"We shall make up a tray of biscuits and tea," Mrs Bell directed."

While the girls hastened to prepare the food, Merlin moved slowly. His last conversation with Arthur made it difficult to concentrate, he kept hearing his husband's angry words in his mind. Arthur hadn't wanted or needed his help, and inside, he ached with fear for all of them. If anyone came to harm because of him, he could not bear it.

A flicker of an idea suddenly grew within his mind. There was a way he could help the situation. Yes, it would work. It had to. When Merlin saw Mrs Bell setting up the tea tray, he stopped her. "I will serve," he offered.

"No," Mrs Bell held up a hand. "I'm sure your uncle would recognize you. You cannot go." To a girl, she said, "Emma, take the tray to our guests. Be sure you don't spill anything."

"Not yet." Merlin stared into Mrs Bell's lined face. "There is something I must do first."

ooOoo

Arthur never made it to the entrance of the house. Strong arms took hold of him from behind. A black hood blinded him, and he fought against his attacker, cursing. He jerked his head backwards, smashing it against the assailant's face. A sharp pain sliced his arm and he felt the warm wetness of his own blood. He'd given Lance strict orders not to interfere, not unless it meant his death.

The shock of the pain sent the rest of the memories flashing through him. Will's body had lay bleeding in the streets, after they'd murdered him. Edwin had attacked him, slicing with the blade. Somehow, he'd managed to escape, striking back with his fists until he knocked Edwin unconscious. He could almost feel the cold slickness of the cobblestones, smell the fetid odour of that night so many months before.

With a violent shove, Arthur ripped away the hood. And stared into the face of Mordred Knight.

ooOoo

A sharp acrid smell brought Arthur back into consciousness. Mordred must have knocked him senseless after he'd removed the hood. His head ached with vicious throbbing, and Arthur struggled to open his eyes.

"Pendragon." The jovial voice could only belong to Aredian Emrys. Arthur turned towards the sound and saw the smile of triumph lighting Aredian's face. "I've been expecting you. Did you bring the records?"

"No. We both know you only used that as an excuse."

Aredian shook his head. "A pity, Pendragon. I might have changed my mind about killing you, had you brought them."

Arthur's forearm throbbed with a vicious pain; no one had bandaged the knife wound. Aredian pointed to a wingback chair. "Put him there."

He jerked his gaze and saw Mordred standing behind him. Not a trace of remorse lay in the eyes of Merlin's former suitor. Arthur fought against the ropes binding him, but Mordred dragged him into the chair.

"Where are my father and Gwaine?" Arthur managed.

"Oh, they'll be along shortly," Aredian said. "I had Edwin take care of them while Mordred brought you here."

"Was Edwin always working for you? Or was he ever loyal to Will Emrys?"

Aredian shook his head in regret. "He came to work for me last year, after I brought his family under my-" he paused to consider the right word "-protection, if you will. Edwin saw that it was better to keep his loyalty to me, instead of Will Emrys. In addition, I provided him with as much opium as he wished."

Arthur did not betray a thread of his fear. "There was no need to take my family captive."

"Oh,they brought that upon themselves." Aredian poured himself a cup of tea from the pot and added several spoonfuls of sugar. "But they may be of use to me."

"Merlin believed you were a man of honour." With a hard look towards Mordred, Arthur added, "Both of you betrayed him."

Mordred has been working for me for several years now," Aredian admitted. "Killing his one of his greatest talents. Along with the extortion, of course. He managed to get quite a bit of money out of your uncle Agravaine." Aredian lifted the cup to his lips and drank. "Few would would suspect it of him, which is what makes him quite good."

Mordred rebuttoned the cuffs of his shirt, a slight smile playing upon his lips.

"You killed Merlin's brother," Arthur guessed. "And my uncle."

"I did," Mordred admitted. "Will owed me a great deal of money, and it was good to bestow justice." The smile deepened, showing Mordred's pleasure in the deed.

Arthur struggled to loosen the ropes without drawing more attention. And yet, with each movement, the knots seemed to grow tighter. His skin had rubbed raw in a few places, but he kept working at his bonds. The ropes did not budge, but right now he wished he could wrap them around Mordred's neck. Arthur wanted to suffocate the smile of satisfaction gleaming upon the man's face.

"You stole the ship profits." Arthur glanced at Aredian.

"Of course I did. And if you hadn't turned up alive, no one would be the wiser." Aredian reclined upon the couch and sipped at his tea. "Opium is quite a profitable export, really. A shame the Druids keep interfering."

"What is it you want, Aredian?"

The older man lifted his cup of tea. "I should think that's obvious, Pendragon. I want to live my life in luxury. And no one needs to worry about how I got my money. Which is why, there are several of you who will have be silenced."

Aredian spoke as though killing did not bother him in the least. "Where is my nephew, by the by?" His tone held no trace of venom, only mild curiosity.

Arthur kept his expression neutral. "Merlin is safe in Camelot, far away from you."

"Oh, no, I rather doubt that. He is quite fond of Tristan and Freya, you know. And my informants tell me he was travelling with your father and your stepbrother." Another sip from his tea. "I do believe my men will find him soon."

"Why did you want guardianship of the children?" Arthur asked. "What use would you possibly have for them?"

"I rather like them, actually. And as the children's guardian, I could have full access to their father's records and accounts. Not to mention, Tristan is a nice lad. I may let him live if you cooperate."

"You would harm your own family?"

Aredian clucked his tongue. "Now, now, Pendragon. We can't have the two of you telling everyone in Camelot about my shipping habits, now can we?"

"You cannot kill everyone. Too many people know your secrets."

"I suppose you may be right. We'll just have to find out, now, won't we?" Aredian gestured to Mordred. sinking back against the couch. "I'm not terribly fond of this house. A good fire would take care of the bodies, and no one would be the wiser." He stifled a yawn and signalled to Mordred. "Bring Lord Uther and the stepbrother to me."

Arthur lunged towards Mordred. He managed to knock the man off balance, but Mordred shoved him against the floor. The metallic taste of blood filled Arthur's mouth.

"I want to kill him now," Mordred said, lifting a knife to Arthur's throat. His voice dreamy, almost like a caress. "And if he's dead, Merlin will be mine."

Glass shattered and gunshots roared from the outside. Though Arthur could not see his companions, he used the distraction to wrench himself free of Mordred's grasp. The knife clattered to the floor, and Arthur threw himself towards it. With his hands bound behind his back, he struggled to grasp the weapon. More gunshots erupted before an eerie silence fell across the room. Mordred lay in a pool of blood, his eyes open with surprise in the moment of death. Aredian appeared shaken, though he had fired several shots from his own pistol.

Edwin emerged at the parlour entrance, holding Lord Uther by one arm. "The intruders are dead, my lord." He bowed to Aredian, his eyes vacuous. "Our guards handled the problem. You may finish your task."

"And the stepbrother?"

"Will be dead in moments. He attempted to join Pendragon's men and has a bullet wound."

Uther Pendragon seemed to have aged a full score of years. His face was waxen, his steps faltering as Edwin forced him into the room.

"Lord Pendragon." Aredian smiled and gestured toward a chair. "So kind of you to join us."

Arthur hid the knife behind his back, trying not to betray his emotions as he eased the blade through the hemp. Nothing mattered unless he could free himself to save them. The ropes slipped, the threads fraying beneath the blade. Closer now…

"I possess a great deal of funds," Uther said. "We could reach an agreement."

Aredian laughed. "I have stolen more money from you and others through the years by my own wits. Your paltry funds matter little to me."

"You cannot possibly believe to escape justice," Uther insisted.

"I have land in Avalon," Aredian said smoothly, mopping his brow with a handkerchief. He yawned again, his voice growing softer. "And enough money to hide a multitude of sins."

"No," a voice said. "Your work here is finished." Arthur turned and saw Merlin standing. He entered the room, and Aredian aimed his gun at him.

Arthur's world lost its footing when he saw Merlin standing before their enemy. His gorgeous, stubborn husband had no business endangering himself. Arthur ripped through the remaining ropes, clenching the knife in his palm. Before he could reach Aredian, Edwin attacked, throwing him to the ground. The weapon slipped out of his grasp, and Arthur cursed, rolling sideways. When he rose up to his feet, Edwin now held the knife in his hands. The man struck with practised assurance, moving in a deadly circle. Weaponless, Arthur had no choice but to wait for his enemy to attack. When the blade swung towards his head, he blocked the strike, grasping the man's forearm and wrist. Sweat beaded upon Arthur's forehead as he struggled to overpower the Druid.

"Arthur-" The words erupted from Merlin's mouth in a terrified whisper.

With a burst of strength, Arthur rotated Edwin's arm. driving the blade down. The pair stumbled over Mordred's body and Edwin twisted, falling to the ground. Arthur seized control of the weapon and rolled, driving the knife into Edwin's chest. He jerked at the sound of the revolver's hammer drawing back.

"Quite impressive," Aredian said, waving the gun in a mock salute. "But rather irrelevant, all the things being equal." He pressed the barrel to Merlin's forehead. "The only dilemma is which of you to kill first?"

"I was never a threat to you, Uncle," Merlin whispered. His mouth trembled, and Arthur moved towards him.

"Take another step, and I'll pull the trigger, Pendragon." Aredian's countenance appeared almost grey, and his hands shaking.

Arthur froze, not wanting the man to inadvertently harm Merlin. Terror lanced him at the idea of his husband dying. His friend Lance burst through the remains of the shattered window, holding his own gun. He was followed by two of Arthur's men. The three kept their weapons trained upon Aredian.

"Release him, Aredian," Arthur said.

"I believe I shall kill him first," Aredian said. "My apologies, Merlin." And he pulled the trigger.

 **So that's it folks for this week. Since I've been very busy this weekend - I have no time for writing. So I leave you with the cliffhanger! I'm a really bad person, I know. See ya.**


	42. Chapter 42

**So folks, you are very lucky - plans for the weekend are canceled. So here is the next Chapter and only the Epilogue will follow next. You all know what that means - the story is almost finished!**

Miraculously, Merlin remained standing. The empty click of the revolver stunned all of them. No more bullets remained in the chamber. Aredian's eyes rolled backwards, and he collapsed to the floor.

Arthur pulled his husband away from Aredian's body, holding Merlin tightly against him. "Are you alright?"

Merlin nodded, and Arthur pressed a kiss against his husband's temple. Aredian lay upon the floor, unmoving. Yet there was no stain, no mark upon him. Arthur, Uther and Lance stared down at the fallen body, unable to understand what had happened. Aredian had ceased to breathe.

"Perhaps his heart stopped beating," Uther offered.

"Or perhaps he drank too much laudanum," Merlin returned.

Arthur eyed the tea cup upon Aredian's desk. "You didn't-"

Merlin's mouth creased in an awkward expression. "I suppose I shouldn't have. I didn't know how much to add. I was hoping to drug him."

"How much put you in?" Uther asked.

"Uhm… Two bottles. With a great deal of sugar to mask the flavour. My uncle always take too much sugar with his tea."

Uther coughed, but Arthur noted the look of admiration. The gruff demeanour appeared to have softened somewhat. "Not a bad idea, I must say." From Uther Pendragon, the words were no less than a high compliment.

"Where is Gwaine?" Arthur asked.

"He stayed to protect the children," Lance interjected.

"How badly was he hurt?"

"One of our other men was shot, not Gwaine," Lance corrected. "And he'll live, I should think."

Arthur's hand caressed Merlin's nape. In his husband's ear, he whispered, "I should have you horsewhipped for interfering. You could have been killed."

"I'm not very good at obeying orders, am I?"

Arthur tasted the salt of some tears when he kissed _his_ Merlin. Nothing felt better than to hold him in his arms again. "I love you," he whispered. "And I'm going to make you a solemn promise."

"You'll never leave me?"

Arthur shook his head. "I swear I shall never drink a cup of tea prepared by your hands, unless you have drunk from it first."

A startled laugh escaped Merlin, but he nodded. Arthur turned to his father. "There is another matter. You have not treated my husband with the respect he is due, so you give him your full support in the future. Is that clear?"

Uther looked pained at the observation. With great reluctance, Uther acceded. "I suppose he _is_ a Baron's son and could be a suitable husband."

A wailing noise cut through their conversation, followed by the sound of a boy running down the stairs. Arthur ordered Lance and the other men to conceal the bodies. He saw no need to frighten the children. After ripping down the heavy curtains, Aredian's body was hidden.

Gwaine cleared his throat. "Am I to be rescued now as well?" In his arms, he held Freya.

"Da-da-da!" the little girl sobbed, reaching for Arthur. He took Freya in his arms, relieved to have her safe. Tristan clung to Merlin, who was smoothing his hair while the boy chattered nonsense about a horse. Merlin and Arthur exchanged looks, and Arthur saw the worry lines ease from his husband's face at the sight of the children.

"Did you kill Great-Uncle Aredian?" Tristan asked Arthur, tugging upon his sleeve.

"No," he answered in all honesty. "But he was not a good man. He brought about his own demise, and he won't trouble us again." Arthur knelt down before the boy, and Tristan gripped his neck tightly. "I want to go home, Uncle Arthur."

"We will, my boy." With a quick rumble of Tristan's hair, Arthur stood. Pulling Merlin into his arm, he suggested, "I think it's time to go home."

ooOoo

That night, when they were alone at the inn, Merlin stood before his husband - naked. Arthur's eyes grew hungry, and Merlin warmed beneath his husband's admiration. The darkness of the room cast an intimate spell. Merlin came closer, touching the healed scar on Arthur's chest. He bent down and kissed Merlin, a melting kiss that pulled the pieces of Merlin's heart back together.

"I love you," Merlin whispered. Shivers of desire and need overcame him, as Arthur lowered his mouth to the sensitive part of his nape.

"I love you, too."

"And you're very lucky, you know."

"How am I lucky?" Arthur asked.

Merlin pulled him toward the bed, bringing Arthur down on top of him. "Let me show you."

As Arthur pulled his husband into his arms, he thought that no man in the world could be as lucky as this.


	43. Chapter 43

**So folks, that's it - the end! A big THANKS to all of you who stuck with me till the end of this story. It was a long journey to get here and it's done, time to push the 'Complete' button. THANKS to all who leaving Comments, they always made me smile. Greetings Chrissi**

 **Epilogue**

The scent of burning cake filled the house. Merlin sniffed the air. Was the house on fire? He raced down to the kitchen where he found Tristan and Arthur, both staring at the stove. Tristan wore an apron tied around his waist while smoke wafted from the oven. He wrinkled his nose. "I think it's done, Uncle Arthur."

"Is it?"

 _Oh, what the hell?_ Merlin pushed past them and grabbed a towel. After removing the charred cake, he set his hands on his hips. "It's very done." He eyes his husband, who offered a sheepish grin. "Burned around the edges, in fact. What were you trying to do?"

"Surprise you?" Arthur took Tristan by the hand. "We thought we'd bake you a birthday cake."

His birthday? Merlin had forgotten completely. With another glance toward the guilty pair, Merlin's heart softened. He examined the cake. Though it was black around the edges, likely it was raw in the middle. They had stoked the fire too hot. "You didn't have to go to all of this trouble."

"It was baked with love." Arthur came up behind his husband and wrapped his arms around Merlin's waist. He nipped at Merlin's ear, sending shivers through him.

"A great deal of love," Merlin managed, fighting a laugh. But when Arthur's mouth met his in a soft kiss, Merlin lost sight of everything else. When Arthur broke away, they realized Tristan had gone.

"Smart lad," Arthur commented. He reached into a small bowl and drew out a finger dripping with chocolate icing. "Taste."

Merlin licked the icing from his husband's finger, letting his tongue sliding over Arthur's skin. The look in Arthur's eyes turned dark and hungry. He stole a kiss, melting with the sweetness against Merlin's mouth. The sweet chocolate tempted Merlin, and he reached into the bowl again. Arthur took his husband's finger into his mouth, gently sucking the icing away. With a seductive glint in his eyes, Arthur spread more icing upon Merlin's lips and proceeded to kiss it off.

"We've been invited to Lady Mercia's dinner party tonight," Merlin reminded his husband as Arthur nuzzled his neck.

"Damn… I curse that day my father took you under his wing," Arthur murmured. "I'd be overjoyed if I never had to attend another society event. Let's stay home tonight." He drew Merlin against his body, fitting his husband against him.

Merlin held him close, strongly contemplating it. "Your family is expecting us. And I would like to attend."

"You're trying to avoid our cake." Arthur cast a chagrined look toward the disastrous pastry.

"That, too."

Arthur released a sigh. "As it is your birthday, I will bow to your wishes. But you'll have to wait on your presents."

His husband's disappointment was so obvious, Merlin leaned in to kiss him. "Not all of them." He slid his hands beneath Arthur's coat, fumbling with his waistcoat and shirt, until his palms touched the bare skin of his husband's back. "Perhaps I'll unwrap one now."

"Will you?" Arthur's voice deepened, even as he removed his coat.

Merlin used his necktie and wound his hand around it, using it to pull Arthur forward. "Unless you have an objection?"

Arthur remained decidedly silent.


End file.
